New Investment Opportunity

John Pawnsi (not his real name) has created a wonderful investment opportunity.

It basically boils down to this. Break out your free money poker checkbook and buy free money Amway and Mary K products. Sell these to your free money friends who in turn pay you a free money commission. Take your free money earnings and buy the free money Eiffel Tower. Sell it to a couple of different people and skip the country.

Now, take the Eiffel earnings validate your parking ticket. Trade in the parking ticket for entry into a race table. Raise every hand. Take your winnings to the free money investment house. Invest it all in TARP assets - Toxic Assets Regarding Poker.

And here's the real beauty - you're going to lose it all. But, since the global economy will not allow you to fail you will be bailed out! Take your share of the 700 billion dollar bailout and buy an assortment of failing US banks.

I know this sounds needlessly complicated, but bear with me. This is going to get you all the free money chips you'll ever need to raise mindlessly for an eternity!

Next - join Scientology. Instead of the normal $500,000 to rid yourself of nasty alien parasites they will require a premium. $98,500,000 free money chips should cover the audit counseling and several lunch dates with Tom Cruise. But, no get this bargain - since Pawnsi (not his real name) is in tight with Miscavige you'll get $1,000 free money chips knocked off the bill for every recruit you make!

Now, take your free chip money and buy a free money plane ticket to Egypt. Avoid the seaside resorts as free money poker sharks have been making a bit of a fuss lately.

THERE'S PYRAMIDS IN EGYPT! And they fucking love Amway! Buy Amway. Fire the board of directors and legally change your name to Jarah. Log back into to Internet Poker nightly and raise regardless of what math or common sense tells you. The free money chips will just flow into you free money Swiss bank accounts.

And here's the topper. I learned this from buying a simple real money book for a paltry $299.95!