Unlike those that have nothing to do with their lives but raise on Internet Poker free money tables I do have some other projects to do. Tonight was one such night.
And I've been reminded that there's lots of other bogus stuff on the Internet. Thank God that Nigerian Prince thing looks like a sweet deal or I would be pissed.
After Jarah moved out I made it a point to avoid seeing her image on my monitor for a painful 5 1/2 month period. When I got back on the clock after waking up face down in the storm drain one too many times I realized that she's had some bit parts on film. Time to search them out.
First on the list is "Chuck vs. the Beefcake" on NBC's "Chuck." If one Googles 'free chuck online' and such you are met with two categories of Chuck episodes. The first are sites you must actually pay a fee to download the video. Apparently they were asleep in English class the day that the meaning of the word "free" was explained. The second are teaser sites that you need to download some software, then after jumping through some hoops you need to create an account to continue. Splain (as always, a real word) to me why I need to use a credit card to create my account if this is free? Past experience has shown that you've just signed up for a monthly membership fee, which is again against the definition of what I learned "free" means.
I do not begrudge NBC for wanting to control the ownership rights. I can wait until it comes on in a repeat. (And I did ask the Nigerian Prince to sweeten the pot by burning a copy of Chuck vs. the Beefcake for me, so it's covered.)
Another huge disappointment in the Jarah film appearances is that she has a cameo in Minority Report. I'm morally opposed to watching this as Xenu reminds me that Tom Cruise, Scientologist extraordinaire, is the lead. So it's off to create a new account on PokerStars since I must rid myself of the Xenu screen name!
My friend Gary is a microbiologist. Damn! Ecoli is taken! As my stomach churns I take an Alka Seltzer. Inspired I try - Damn! Effervesce is taken! I'm the Pastor Emeritus of the 'Shut up You Loser Internet Poker is for Real' anti=defamation league. Damn! Emeritus is taken! Finally I choose "Ergot" since I think this is the name of the French made car I drive. After a quick trip to the mighty steed in the driveway I discover I drive a Nissan Altima and look up what ergot is and find that some screwball plant pathologist has already taken the screen name.
These are events I can never get over. As a gesture of defiance I won't tweet again or post any more pictures of Jarah until a million dollars is donated to the Leukemia Society. You can make your donation at:
leukemiamakesjarahandbabyjesuscry.com
(Or, since I'm a sellout if you send me donations of 1 million free money chips to The Big Lay Down I might consider starting tweeting again.)
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