Let's discuss tonight's table as if no paranormal interference had occured. We have one position that had to change Grandma's IV drip, got lost and upon his return didn't realize that three sevens pretty much sucks as a low hand on 7-2 lowball. Feeding the pot to someone, obviously not me therefore I'm short stacked. And I'm not talking in the happy bellyful pancake way.
As always being very cautious (I always wear a condom when I play) I fold a million hands and when I finally make my first raise the other players don't pause for a second and think, "Whoa! This dudes been folding - maybe he actually has a hand!" I'm called, win and I'm back in the running.
Time goes by, and I navigate myself to a final 3 where 2 spots pay out and it's anyone's ball game. Except the Cubs. They suck. And not in the happy bellyful of 7-11 Slurpee way.
Tired of the game one of the 3 bows out by going all-in and posts that he's got another tour to do - i.e. another game. Despite the fact that it hurts me I press on and eventually take my first number one finish in ages. Yeah me! The endorphins are already kicking in! I can sleep tonight without love doll sex as a happy person!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, let's examine the game from a rigged poker point of view.
Yeah, right. Someone logged in, drank an entire bottle of Jager and fed someone other than me. No, you realize by my chips available that I'm skillful and need to level the playing field by making yourself a sacrificial lame. For the third consecutive table there's no time bank usage after my pointed commentary on how this has changed faster than a greased bunny. (Which will be cooked and eaten later since my cat meat supply is gone.) Then #3 has the audacity to post a parting shot in chat as an observer. "I gotta be somewhere else." Then fucking sit out.
Wait a second. When I get chetated, which happens on almost a daily basis I like to post a parting shot about the non-random cards. Universally I'm met with a message about observer chat being blocked. How did you do that? Didn't you just kinda break a rule?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The real answer is supernaturally sinister.
Da Da Da DAAAAAA!!!
The NO CHANCE KID has taken up some side jobs working on his own away from the gang. Go back a few days and you'll see how my crack team of investigators exposed that No feeds the pot without any intention of winning. His other tour was viewing this blog and looking on how to score with hot Asian chicks to steal my moment of happiness!
Bastard.
All right No, steal this - I'm going to watch Woody Allen's "What's Up Tiger Lily?" Big time hot Asian chicks and funnier than your pathetic attempts at making Internet poker look for real.
No comments:
Post a Comment