Poker betting can be cured by Scientology!

You know what I'm talking about.

The Price of Ben and Jerry's has DOUBLED in the last 7 months. Jarah is way pissed.

By their choice, PokerStars has decided I'm not worthy of playing big buy in sit and go games with obviously fradulent play/stastically unreasinable cards and draws on their single draw lowball game that I love more than a vicious ice cream headache and pulling out an ingrown toenail with a pair of nail clippers.Add to the list- I love it more than hold'em, winning (we'll get back to that one) and finding out that some high ranking Church of Scientology member has bolted since "the writing is on the wall."

300 buy in game. Naturally you would expect the play to not be very professional. But please explain, now that I have played more than 100 lowball sit and goes why something like half of them start with the first hand having someone on a seven player table so clueless that they play for high. Skank goes all in with bullshit and wins the first hand after the patsy with a semi-respectable decent starter hand miraculously catches two pair.

If Skank was a real human playing competively, the hand would have been folded. Or after being called out on it might have tried discarding more than one card.

But that's not the way AI works on internet poker. Kudos for making Skank a consistently annoying big raiser that recognized it was a lowball game. I've played enough of these to see the pattern is to create two (the paid positions) players that are the experts and the real human has to struggle through extremely crappy cards and irrational all-ins to have a chance. Fortunately I know the system and I did finish second by folding 846,290 hands.

And the registration process continues to be insane. The screen is updated once every nanosecond and bounces all over the place that in a low sit and go game it's next to impossible to pick the table you want to be at. However, maybe, just maybe, if I pay the Church of Scientology $500,000 and get my magical OT superpowers I can transform myself into artificial intelligence and register at any table I want.

Yeah, and maybe my crack team of army of the dead fighters (me and the dog) can stop Bad Ash from recovering the Book of the Dead from the tower.

The solution to making the play money games look real is simple. The millions of people playing need to get some Scientology auditing and the brainwashed alien parasite that makes them bet like a total jackass can be removed.