Me and my crack team of Scientology investigators (me and the dog) noticed something today.
We got crushed in a fairly normal almost realistically bet game of PokerStars wildly popular "8 Game" that didn't have someone raising absolutely every chance that they get. The thing about * Game is that other than the nolimit hold'em, it's fixed limit. Traditionally over months of registering for these on and off there is someone that feels the need to raise every time the action is on them. We aren'tused to something resembling rational human betting and random cards. Since the cards weren't random, I do deserve to get to whine about it.
Everytime I log in to PS there are tens of thousands opponents waiting for me to test my skill. How is it possible for me to see so many people at one table play against the generally accepted internet poker philosophy that the only way to be successful at fixed limit is to raise every chance?
The knee jerk reaction is to expect that since this is Thanksgiving that they had too much play money already and didn't want anymore, had too much play tryptophan from too much play turkey and play gravy on their play mashed potatoes and were too busy hugging their play 102 year old grandmothers and were just simply off their game.
The real reason is that we are being enslaved en masse to react the way our new masters want us to.
Before 2008 when Anonymous started kicking the living shit out of Scientology, they were the ones in charge. Tom Cruise was using his ability to move objects with his mind (Google something like "Scientology - Blown for Good book) to manipulate the random card generators to force the outcome. Now that he, and Scientology in general has been exposed for what it is they have been defensive. No longer a slave of the Martian Bishop and Xenu we have been free to lead almost normal lives.
Except that there is a newer, more insidious master out there. The AHC. The Asian Hottie Cult. If you spend $475,000 (real, not play money) you can get AHC auditing, rid yourself of the HTs (Hottie Thetans) you have and finally get to see a full game of internet poker where the cards are actually random. I'm considering this because of my terrible Ben and Jerry's addiction I've had.
Or maybe I'll just enjoy the fact that I had a real Thanksgiving with my real family with my real 102 year old grandmother understand that the cards are rigged give the dog some bones watch my newly acquired She-Wolf of London DVDs and laugh at the assholes that have to cheat on play money games that can't make it look real and feel the need to taunt me while working on the Guinness Book of World Records record for the longest run on sentence that has ever been made in the history of mankind since we evolved from clams as Scientology tells we did so eloquently in the book by their founder L. Ron Hubbard who was homophobic like Tom and probably never even considered that an Asian Hottie was more important than defrauding people out of millions of dollars while building up his cult and certainly never expected that someone like Jarah would become a vastly more important person than he was during his drug addled life while violently spewing out how drugs were awful and had such a short attention span like nobody else does and
Oh look! A puppy on TV!
No comments:
Post a Comment