The Shagmandu Incident

Paint has let me down, but if I'm right this will be an event that I can and surely will try to duplicate.

After an unprecedented run of overly great hole cards and flops and turns and rivers (translation: bullshit) I have gone from 187k to 838k on PokerStars in two weeks. My 4 top paranoid conspiracies on this are:

1) Keep me online as long as possible to hack and/or sabotage things like Paint.

2) Establish that yes, there are real people here. Lot's of chat after years of humdrum mindless raising and calling with no real humanity behind it.

3) Keep me interested to point out the obvious mistakes here so they can be corrected.

4) Mulder and Scully were right.

I still stand by my claim that I'm talented, but such a meteoric rise in chips is not normal even for

So, the streak finally came to a suspicious end tonight. The game starts with the friendly "shagmandu" offering the obligatory good luck to every one message. Shaggie (can I call you Shaggie? Shagmeister? Shagamundo? Shagmagic?) has aroused my suspicion because shag is a type of carpet. Katmandu is in Asia. Oriental rugs are from Asia. Oriental rugs are not shaggy. Oriental porn stars are usually clean shaven down below. (From what I've been told.) Ergo, this supreme line of reasoning tends to make me think this is one in a long line of not real positions.

So I searched for the username. And the replay was that it couldn't be found. Players other than Shagalicious were found. Yet here I am sitting at a table with someone that doesn't exist.

At the very best for PokerStars this is evidence that the software is so monumentally screwed up that it doesn't work. Past history makes me tend to think otherwise. Which is why I wasn't surprised when I folded my K6s, the flop was three spades, there were three all ins and two other positions had a pair of spades. Naturally one held the nut flush ace. The rest of the table played out like the good ole days of bad beatin' cheatin', too.

Sigh. The party's over.

Until I get screen shots of this crap again.