The Big Lay Down's lawyer's Invoices for Services Rendered

The Big Lay Down has retained the services of the law firm Crackteam, Mariano and Cheatthemidiots to backbill (as long as US laws allow) for services rendered. The invoice will be payable in free money chips and wired to a free money Swiss bank account or internet poker will suffer the same slap on the wrist penalties that a Lindsay Lohan or Wesley Stipes will incur.

CMC's billing rate is $200 an hour for a partner and $50 per hour for admin support.

Training internet poker that on a fixed limit game raising every single chance is a losing proposition if the cards aren't rigged - 4,600 hours partners. 10,400 hours admin support.

Training Internet Poker that creating a position that can't lose is a joke - 3,700 partner hours, 6,350 admin hours.

Training Internet poker that maybe an occasional chat would make you look for real - 1,575 partner hours, 2475 admin hours.

Internet pojker being a crime against nature - fixed fee. $5 billion free money chips.

Internet poker making my dog unhappy - fixed fee $500,000 chips.

Internet poker having the audacity to suggest I don't know how to play - partners 4,225 hours, admin 6,500 hours.

Outright rule breaks investigation - partners 17,000 hours admins 2,350 hours.

Time Bank rules on PokerStars - included in the rule breaks - no charge.

Swiss Gnome payoff - partners 3 hours admins 17.5 hours. Hiring a mathematician for review - fixed fee and partnership fees $4,800,000,000.

Filing class action lawsuit for being cheated on internet poker - partners 9,006,425,1575 hours. Admin support too busy eating Ben and Jerry's to care- no charge.

And as the CMC staff has far too many poker players on the payroll, for convenience the final lawsuit will be settled for 56,850,725,040,398.02. (Because the math doesn't work.)

The Big Lay Down's lawyer dealing with this issue, an unnamed hot Asian babe, has expressed some concern that the payoff will bankrupt the combined economies of Narnia, the Shire, Ringworld, the combined works of Fred Saberhagen, the global Swiss Gnome shoe factory reapir business. the planet of Endor, the ...well pretty much everything we need to pay off.

It;s not my/our fault you bought all those subrime free money mortgage loans and Obama doesn't have enough free money chips to bail you out.