Jarah Mariano has been cheating at poker!

Very disturbing news there. When I called her up, despite the restraining order that I shouldn't drink and dial I got the full story of what is going on. (After an ice cream binge she gets really chatty.

The event that lead to the cheating was UB's fairly recent change to charging a processing fee for free money tables. On the surface, this does seem just a tad....oh who am I kidding... Hoover Dam big stupid that it made our conversation awkward, and my crack team of calming emotional girls down (me and the dog) ran up a huge cell phone bill.

I splained to Jarah that "splained" is still a valid word in the language, even if I made it up and Webster's has there committee still investigating it. What she needs to understand is that the overhead of running play money games is so massive that the non-brick and mortar casinos need this fee to stay ruuning. Free money dealers need to pay the free money rent. Free money managers of those free money dealers need to pay free money alimony to thewir free money ex-wives, buy food for their free money dogs, pay free money real estate taxes and insurance, get their free money car fixed, pay off the free money PI that was taking those incriminating pictures, and....

I trust you get the point by now.

It's completely batshit crazy that a free money internet poker game needs to charge a processing fee if these are real people. Exptually (real word Webster's!) on such a modest buy in table.

So what's the point? The illusion of a real poker table? Programmer just didn't think about how enormously stupid it is? Distracted by a free money call girl? We may never know. Verily, we probably will never know.

The cheating Jarah has done to combat this is to create multiple accounts. That's not two pictures of Jarah. That's Jarah and her younger sister Jahra. (Jarah was born first by 43.687 seconds.)

Which splains a lot on why I play in a PokerStars 2-7 lowball sit and go with a 10k buy in and some incompetent moron is fed 2 all in losers including one with two pair

.Jarah, Jarah, Jarah,

Me and my crack team of just wishing that every single table had random cards and the betting was consistent with real humans has been ruined. But don't cry for me. Free money tears are so depressing.