Worst Poker Table ever

After a 2 hour argument followed by making up which included lots of Ben and Jerry's, a long walk on the beach, bubbles, a stuffed goose, a swivel chair, a bagel slicer (don't ask) and prank calls to the Scientology Org acroos town, I got Jarah to admit that subtely this could be the single worst table I have ever played on. That's her up in the corner saying, "Number one in the 'hood, you rule."

There's no damaging evidence on this table, except that I have written the names down and I will be searching for these "people" on purpose because of the litany of errors and stupidity in the game.

madampoker timed out the first hand except for a couple of seconds on the new and improved 60 second instead of 45 second time bank. This timing out thing has become an increasingly popular feature of pretty much every sit and go I play at. Guys, it doesn't bother me. If the game goes on three hours I'll be there to the end. i play a lot.

Diane 101 won the first hand with most of the table (me and madam were the only ones that folded) by betting on a jack low. If you play enough single draw lowball you know that this is "jackshit low". It's not amazing that she bet it, it's amazing that so many "people" called it.

Kruz 18 was one of those idiot raisers that feel that it's an insult to their testosterone to call. I correctly pegged 'him" as the eventually winner after the fourth hand. (Editor's note: This does mean that I finished second.)

Within the first couple of hands Eagle called a big bet by madam with - a straight. As has been pointed out in the past, this is a 10k buy in table. If you don't understand the rules, you probably should try the game at a wee bit lower stakes.

JJ got off to the big chip lead and pissed it away by calling every raise made "his" way, including not being able to beat things like a queen low.

Naturally, in the hour and a half it took for this table to reach it's surprising Krum win conclusion - number of characters posted in chat -

0.

Jarah and I are really looking forward to this weekend. Monday holiday, lots of time to play. There will be lots of ice cream and bubbles and my crack teammate (the dog) being confused at why the little ox and the hot Asian chick are more important than me throwing a ball around the house. And the dictionary of fakelical but realish sounding words will be updated regularically. So, this is your friendcial warndoodle (soory - dog's idea) that you have two choices.

Keep up the non-human bavardage (that really is a word!) or stop offering tables that aren't populated by real humans.