BPP

If you are a good little boy or girl and play for real money you also get the chance to accumulate "points" on these sites. There are tournaments that can only be entered with the points. And you can also go to the site store and trade those points for cool stuff like shirts, caps and underwear that you can display on your ass like events such as Carano vs. Cyborg and the rest of the card. Not surprisingly both fighters with Full Tilt on their ass won at that event.

Me and my crack team of not wanting to waste our money on real money games (me, Jarah, the dog, that cat with the death wish that keeps wandering around my work parking lot, 2 high school cheerleaders and a bag of stale potato chips) have identified that the reason the play money games also earn points. They are called "Bullshit Play Points" or BPP, for short.

Every raise is worth 1 BPP
Raising with complete crap is worth 2 BPP
Raising with complete crap and winning the hand when someone calls is worth 10 BPP
Every line of insanely stupid chat is worth 1 BPP
Posting "zzzzzzzzzz" in the insane chat is worth 5 BPP
Transferring chips by calling an obvious loser is worth 75 BPP
Activation of the time bank is worth 5 BPP
Registering and sitting out is worth 25 BPP
Making up an excuse that you have to leave the table then you stay in the hand and win is 100 BPP
Raising every hand for 20 hands in a row is worth 6,000,000 BPP

Folding a killer pre-flop is worth 0.005 BPP
Calling when you should have raised but you're too scared of the crazy raiser that irrationally keeps winning. Break even - 0 BPP
Buying into a game with more than the starter chips of 1,000 for newbies is worth 2 BPP.
Sucking up to rigged AI by psoting "nh" is worth 5 BPP.

When you accumulate enough BPP you can trade them in at the store.

3,000,ooo gets you a lunch date with Tom Cruise and your chance to get roped into Scientology.
500 BPP for Full Tilt underwear (offered on all sites, not just Full Tilt)
75 pounds of cocaine so you can stay awake all night and sit at Omaha Hi-Lo no limit and have the energy to play for 36 hours straight and get to 4 million chips on a 40k buy in table.
10 BBP for a cap.

And for the real human players- 2,3750,876,832 to buy into a statiscally reasonable table where you have a chance to win.

Guess I'll buy the cap.