Things that don't make sense, part wahtever

Why does Jarah have her hands wrapped around a pole? Me and my crack team of strip club experts ( me and the Canadian bike club that has been following her) have come to the conclusion that when she was 18 years old and pregnant that she really needed the money in a bad way, crossed paths with a pimp named Rocco, changed her name briefly to Tina Santez, opened a car wash under the pseudonym Ohmigodyayagottabekidding? (Yes, complete with the question mark) and got involved with my world of internet poker.

Now, what Jarah (hun, can I call you that since that's internet pokers favorite term of affection between alleged male and female players?) wants to understand so the lawsuit can be completed is why there are so many wild mood swings and so much inconsitency.

What she and my crack team of inconsitency experts have noticed (me and a retired New York couple that have been shopping for useless shit on Amazon) is that lately the cards on the weekend are set to "hi real human, by the way, you lose" mode. And during the week, things actually aren't too bad.

Me and my crack team of mortgage bankers (me and 13 college students taking some classes and getting lucky with the fat girls) wonder that during this week.......

And the past two before that.....

Why is it that other on the non-weekend I actually have a chance of scoring and I play on the weekend and the weekend guys, gals, New York couples, Rubik's Cube inventors, Harper's Island scriptwriters and all those directors that have ever made a movie with David Carradine suddenly come up and play like the mortgage on the house is what the stakes are keep inning om meaningless play money games?


(Editor's note: David Carridane may be the father of Jarah's baby. The Carradine family has denied this. The lawsuit will be costly.)

And bullshit internet poker rolls on.

And I think what it is - TARP. Troubled All-in Ridiculous Poker. The banks have loaned a crapload of free money chips to the FreckledMoms of the world. Now, they're recalling them. The play money chip poker industry is way in danger of going bankrupt. So FreckledMom, et al (the bogus race table positions after being bailed out) are now in a sad position that they need to repay those loans to stimulate the American economy and ergo, the World Economy by getting those free money chips back into the system. Me an my crack team of All-In analysts (me, the dog, Ben Bernanke, David Carradines family and two Norweghian arctic fox hunters) agree.