Playing with Vacuums

Just like MythBusters has taught us, playing with vacuums is a lot of fun. You should be cleaning your house, but disassembling the beast and making a hovercraft or cyclotron makes the machine far more interesting.

Playing with Internet Poker vacuums takes a mindset the average casual once a week player isn't prepared for. But the latest "upgrade" has made things a tad easier for me. After getting crushed last night on lowball so early I had way too much time on my hands to consider going to bed, so I played a Hold'em sitter. No big secret if you read up - I play two table games.

The games play out like at least half of the spots have to attend a Middle Eastern uprising or some other cosmic noteworthy event. In other words - heavy raising.

Not satisfied with just one third place finish in the manner I'm about to discuss, I just did it again. Two consecutive 18 player games with essentially the same script. And I finished third again.

It's defenestratingly(pseudo-real word) obvious that the competition on the free money tables is loaded with aggressive and non-random card receiving AI. Your mix of opponents are at least one vacuum on each table and several feeders that by thier play don't even belong at the game. If you have the dedication and superhuman power of patience that I have the players that continually risk 30% of their chip stack on a raise when in reality a modest bump would be more productive eventually butt heads with the vacuum.

The significance of this screen (not the hot Asian chick shots) is that I made it to 2nd most chips on the final table by winning 47 hands. (What...wait...my dog has his tennis visor on and has been banging away at the adding machine. The actual number of hands to reach the final table on an 18 player game is, um...1.

And the actual number of handsz to finish third and in the money is somewher between 1 and 3 and 1 and 3 don't count.

Time for anotherf one of your frequent updates that don't address any serious problems with the software but just change the way the AI plays. The current format is something I can't call "pretty weak", it's ugly weak. 3rd place winning two hands is not real poker.

And to top it off since there was absolutely zero chat activity other than my single post. Vacuums don't chat, despite all the candy, flowers and sex toys I've sent Freckledmom. I posted "d switch to channel 2." My intent was (before the second winning hand) to present myself as a colluding cheater in future chat. Even though this comment desrved at least a WTF? and even with all the bad beats there's no "nh" or "ty" chat.

Enjoy your Libyan protest. I'll get back to you. All weekeknd long.