LOTR 4 - The Return of The Jackass or Why am I obsessed with FreckledMom on Absolute Poker

It's only natural, or maybe unnatural, supernatural, denatured or preternatural that one of the first orders of business on Absolute after years off is to track down my old girlfriend FreckledMom. More important than playing a single hand tonight, although I might squeeze in a game of blackjack after this.

Yes, Freckie, and I know you hat that nickname but it's better than other words that start with 'F' and have a 'K' in them. Nice to see you're still in business. For those too tired to dig back through here Google "Freckledmom Absolute Poker" and some old pretty screen shots will come up on the first page.

As well as Freckie's membership in the 10 million free money chip Hall of Fame.

Now, if I wasn't so willing to spread the love around I could make the 10 million chip Hall. I am a third of the way there. But most of those were acquired not by any real poker skill, but by recognizing the database vs. interface issue with IP.

Granted today's shot is in the beginnings of a baby table, but Freckie is in the lead. Since Freckie has proven time and again to not have any skill beyond the clicking of the raise button and getting great cards and draws I'm sure that after hours of being at a table it will show she is the mastress (real word - combination of master and mistress with the accidentally look of mattress - AI doesn't have to go to bed.)

Let's pretend for a minute I'm wrong. Freckie has played nothing but free money tables in the time I've known her. And this is assuming it really is a her. It could be a transvestite. $10 million + free money chips, wins every single night. And you never considered playing for real money and leaving us free money players alone? Hmmmmmmmmm.

I think the problem is low self esteem. Being a two dimensional display on a computer screen and with freckles obviously not being Asian there's no way you can compete against Jarah or Sora.

One of the biggest weaknesses of Absolute is the mere fact that I'm allowed to search for Freckie. And now it comes time to recreate another one of my Absolute (pun intended) favorites. Searching for the player sitting at the same table as me and getting the reply the player isn't found.

See ya tomorrow. (or maybe in an hour.)