One of my true regrets in life is that I didn't drink malt liquor until my 30's. I missed out on a great college age drinking game called Edward 40 hands. Duct tape a malt liquor 40 to each hand, the first that finishes them off is the winner.
There are lots of lame drinking games out there. Jennifer Aniston has hard nipples on Fr5iends - everyone drinks. Zombies talk about eating brains - everyone drinks. Everyone wants to drink and forget about bs Internet poker - everyone drinks.
After the wild drunken orgy complete with livestock and music turned up way too loud the participants pass out nnd wait until the next day's calling off work and preparing for the uncomfortable meeting with the parents. "Donnie, eat some soup - you look so bad." Force down the soup, take a tylenol, make it through the day and have a hair of the dog tequila.
As we here at the Big Lay Down are concerned about our youth we have developed some friendly tips. First of all - don't date Jarah Mariano. She's way out of your league and the Ben and Jerry's tab is more than you make in a year.
And now, adjust the drinking game to these rules:
If the first hand doesn't have someone going all in, take a drink.
If the first hand doesn't have someone hitting the 14 second warning take a drink.
If the first hand doesn't have someone posting a chat about the idiot play of the all in jackass take a shot of ipecac.
If your pair of aces is bad beaten take a shot of ipecac.
If someone posts lol on a tied hand, take a shot of ipecac.
If someone acknowledges you by your real screen name take a drink by a swallow of ipecax.
If you are playing against at least one hot Asian chick, pound the remaining 40.
If you don't have anything better to do with your life than cheat at Internet poker take a swig of hemlock. It will be very liberating
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