And it's only February. But, Internet poker February zombies was copyrighted by George Romero, so my lawyers tell me I'm forced to settle for this.
Pretend time again, and not the kind with the magazine that has the naked hot Asian chick. Let's assume I'm wrong (which I'm not) and that these freed money tables are populated by real people. Isn't it an amzing coincidence that since PokerStars last update on their already awesome software that every single table I've played on has had several players getting the friendly message that they have 14 seconds to act? Especially amusing is the last jackwipe that got that message on the first hand. If you were seriously interested in playing you would have had plenty of time to think about calling or folding with two more jackwipish (real word) idiots taking time before you.
Recently I have posted how Itty the Kid is obviously stealing time. I was kidding! Everyone knows that's just a silly meth induced rant. You can go ahead and sit out and your time bank is guarnteed by Teasers, Annoying and Bullsnot - a very not real and not real sounding law firm.
So now, the Internet poker confronts me, the outsider. Instead of calling each other up discussing what clothes to wear tomorrow morning they now discuss how to wait for the 14 second warning to make a move. (By the way, I'm wearing my "Chicks Dig Me novelty" underwear tomorrow. I really need to do some laundry.)
Time to test how serious thezse guys and gals are about the table. Tomorrow's wardrobe is more important than some interaction as you can't respond to some simple jokes. Tina has one of the stock avatars PokerStars provides. Looks like lava and fire. So she's hot. Mos has an avatar of a dog. She's a dog.
On a game filled, if that's the right term, with a significant lack of chatter including the basic nh congrats I'm nearly suicidal since my Facebook account has been deleted due to wearing the wrong color shirt every day this week.
Tomorrow I intend to pretend to be too wasted to function so Sora dresses me. Then, when she least expects it I nail her with a quart of Ben and Jerry's forcibaly shoved down her throat.
In the meantime PokerStars can consider the lack of humanity that is ever so pervasive.
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