Real Poker vs. Bingo

The crack committee of Lemoyne University graduates (me and the dog) have just identified something (cough cough)we've noticed over the past eight years. This is big.

Pi has an infinite number of decimal places. Math exists. It wasn't some bullshit theory drummed up by Ron Howard and Tom Hanks so they could sucker millions of people into buying tickets to a movie. There really are conspiracy theories out there. And according to Jarah (god love her muffin baking soul) it looks like internet poker being for real is one of them.

Please explain how I can struggle for almost an hour playing with my A game on a single table sit and go on my beloved 5 draw lowball where I get one pat fullhouse, two pat flushes, two pat straights, and can't catch a card on any decent starter hand. The latest trend is to feed good starter cards and screw you over on the draw. Lost 10k meaningless free money chips on bullshit play.

So, not drunk enough since I haven't passed the malt liquor course, yet - I bounce around some Omaha Hi-Lo no limit tables. And win 50k in one hand.

Got it - idiot play is rewarded - real poker is treated with contempt. Gotta feed that next generation for the raising without thinking. Good move, because you surely have a shot at impressing Jarah.

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Some suggestions for other fun the all-in crowd engages in. Break open a forty, everyone gets a single six sided die. High roll wins. You don't have to think. You just have to be there.

Indian poker with no raising. You don't have to think, you just have to be there.

Draw matchsticks. The smallest wins. You don't have to think, you just have to be there.

Two player game - pick your opponent's hand - red wins, black loses and all matches are atie. You don't have to think about it, you just have to be there.

Do shots on who gets the last head slap on NCIS, probably Tony. But you're poker bet will offset you if wrong.

Flip a coin - first one that doesn't match the others wins.

Call out the letters in the alpabet in order. First wrong answer loses. Last right answer wins. Repeat until the boredom strikes in and someone calls "J" when the right answer was "9".

The Malt liquor grads have a big edge on that one.

And the new episode of Burn Notice is coming up. Gotta go.