Dear Poker Pros

This is so simple. This is so obvious it is not real people populating the site.

After a five year vacation I'm back on PokerStars. I'm doing my typical and weird investigative things instead of worrying about the chips. Play an hour on a Hi-Lo no limit Omaha table and I promise you that you'll see some weird shit.

Take a break from your busy cashing the sponsorship paychecks and sit in on the free money tables, or at least watch them. They often call it "Fun Money". Fun if you like calling all in bets every single hand.

I have several survival rules for my beloved Omaha Hi-Lo. And I've developed these because this is always the game that develops the most stupid and obvious garbage play on the net.

Rule#1 - don't play seriously until you've gotten at least one ace.
Rule#2 - don't play seriously until you've folded a hand that otherwise would have won.
Rule#3 -don't raise, there's ALWAYS someone(COUGH COUGH) out there to do that for you when you finally get a decent hand.
Rule#4 - after winning a hand, immediately fold the next regardless of your cards.
Rule#5 - long pauses, whether an idiot or disconnect equate to "Danger! Rigged!"

Proper play of Omaha Hi-Lo does not mean go all in or make a big bet every time you have an ace. A modest raise would suffice. But, on 10 different sites the book has changed. Everyone goes all-in based on the fact that they have inhaled oxygen within the last 5 seconds.

Specifically, my time on PokerStars the past three nights has been so to typical of what I've seen the past seven years.

Night 1 - played a crappy 10/20 fixed limit table that I'm way too good to be sitting at, and they pretty much hated me and wouldn't let me win my statiscally normal share of hands.

Night 2 - sat in on a table I desrved to be at, and other than a couple of folds following my rules early on, they refused to let me win a single hand out of 50 or so, and I dropped more than half my stack.

Night 3 - following the rules I survive instead of losing it all, and I fix most of the damage from night 2, but it's pulling teeth for 1 1/2 hours while watching marginal hands go all in, poor hands raising and in general looking more like a program than a real person.

And, in these past three nights on PokerStars. Aw, hell, let's say it again, PokerFrauds, something like 10 characters of chat. I have no reason to believe that these are real people after 6+ hours at the site.

Dammit (Oops), now I have to stop my potty mouth

And the Dance of Death Ensues

Apparently unhappy with my meteoric rise to 15k chips in one weekend, PokerFrauds has given every indication that they would like to see me extinct.

Let me'splain something to ya. I'm more than willing to sit in on a table that I'm way better to be at. Ity's because I'm looking for clues (like I need anymore) instead of being worried about the chips too much.

So, when I sit in on a 10/20 fixed limit 5 card draw table, I'd like to see some indication that I'm playing against real human beings. Which is never the case. It's the same old story. Almost every hand had players pressing the pot, and the two guys in the lower right were both supposedly from Santiago, completely incompetent, and Alex even rebought after blowing his wad with his constant raising.

Now, seven years ago playing on PokerFrauds, I recognized that the bad beats came from the player that was raising me. Moving on to other sites, I noticed the program was tweaked so that the raiser (feeder) was pushing the pot for the eventual winner other than themselves. Apparently PokerFrauds didn't get my memo that this was only slightly more subtle, and they're still locked in to this mode.

I purposefully satyed at the table for more than an hour. Three letters of chat the whole night - Alex posted "ako" whatever the hell that means. Considering a succession of new table sitters I find it just a tad bit strange that nobody deemed it worthy to say much of anything. The jacks full of aces, no "nh." My three kings beating three 7s, no "nh" (which I don't need to validate my life, just a strange I'm supposedly a real human clicking on the raise button kind of thing by these other jackwipes.)

Warning -it's December 29th. I have 5 weeks of personal and vacation time in 2009. And weekends and holidays. And since you couldn't make a simple and stupid 5 card draw game look for real, you've kinda ticked me off, and I won't say "came up" on my radar screen, but you've advanced to number one target for 2009.

Expect me.

Linda Hayes (probably not her real name)

I can't begin to express how much in awe I am of your skill. (Cough cough...sarcasm)

You are so talented, that you play Absolute Poker race tables at all hours of the day. And at one time, I was shouted at to sit out because people were "helping you", which meant they were transferring chips to you.

So today, I sat in on the same table as you and got extremely crappy cards. That's OK, I have earned 11,000 in the few hours I've spent at the site.

Oh my, let me explain that.

Linda is a fixture on Absolute. Loves to play those awesome race tables. And, if she's so in love with Absolute race tables, why does she just happen to show up on PokerFrauds?

Yes, that's the same baby. Different angle, but I've seen that baby dozens of times. And this time I saw you at 4am on PokerFrauds instead of on Absolute.

This doesn't just say bizarre, this screamsd out, "BOGUS!!!"

Because like me, Linda Hayes has no real life except logging in to internet poker and playing badly. Play some fucking Hearts for Christ's sake. Or create a bake sale. Or go out and weed the garden. Or take my dog for a walk since he hates how I spend so much time on the computer.

Oh, no.

I do have a real life. I'm a real person getting cheated on internet poker. And Linda is just AI that an admin pops into every once in awhile.

Pokerstars.

Expect me.

I have over 12k chips. I don't just have to limit myself to the baby tables.

More race table nonsense

Again (and again and again) these idiots do their best to prove that this is not real people playing against each other. I deliberatley searched for tables that PUTANGSUE was playing on. I enjoyed the company of Rookie1965 on both of those tables. Not only does rookie actively play two tables, he has the time to chat on both tables. But it's not real chat. It's mindless and moronic "nh"s to every hand he congratulates the winners that he didn't win on. Which was all of them in my 20 minute stay. One would tend to think that it would be awfully boring to do nothing but lose every hand on two tables for twenty minutes and post "nh" in the chat.

Except that computers don't get bored. Which is why these bogus race tables exist.

During my race table investigation I've come across two other people that have sat in on them, that like me are told they are an unwelcome guest and they should leave. I'm skeptical, I still think it's a cover-up to explain why 2 year olds would play so stupidly. Fortunately, mathematically it doesn't work out. Because the race table is the excuse for someone ending up with millions of chips.

Review this blog and there is a screen shot of Underbos with over 4 million. And another racer with over 1 million. The two claims I've seen about the race table parameters have been the same. First player to 500k wins. The other 8 players pay a bounty of the 20k max buy in to the winner. Under optimum conditions - 9 seat with 499,99.99 going all in and one position sweeps and is the pot and is paid the bounty nets 4,659,999.90. Yet here is a table that has over 5 million chips among the top two. ???

OK, it wasn't a race table - well, that doesn't really work either. Because that's a net loss of the losers of over 250 max buy-ins and rebuys. And this only supports my feeder and vacuum AI theory that it's all AI. Despite your bogus chat made to make you look a little more real. Race table and race tablish type games that are not race table games have the same lingo. It's very limited.

"nh"

"ty"

And my personal favorite - "weeeeeeeeeeeeeee" (said upon winning a big hand.) Thank god noone said "hun" or my brain would have exploded.

Which leads to the third table. 100/200 fixed limit isn't a big stakes game, but I'd call it medium range. Trying to pick out something different to be annoying at, and trying to build Dexter's chip stack since I got screwed over on my first account (no password retrieval option available on UB) this seemed a good choice. And it was for the most part. If I quit at my maximum I would have gained 10%. Pandora was an obvious feeder. Raised most hands, won very few. Eventually, tired of my use of the single biggest weapon in my arsenal - folding like crazy - some chump sits next to me with the max 500k chips. Oooooooooohhhhh, I'm so scared. You have 500k on this site.

The game play over the next half dozen hands was exactly what I expected. This guy won 8k in one tenth the time I won 3k, not because of skill, but simply a matter of getting better cards and better flops. Since I'm used to this, it didn't totally annhilate me. The warning flags were waving.

For good measure, a second 500k position appeared at the table. So pointless. For fixed limit 100/200 something like 5k is all you need to bring in. This was(to the tune of Helen Reddy, I am Woman):

"I am Admin hear me roar,

I've too many chips to ignore,

And I'm gonna kill you with my skill.

I've got players feeding me,
They have them to infinity,
So they aren't worried about a spill"

Nope.

Play to win. Don't play to make me lose.

Taking a break

When I do my best work I'm either playing Omaha Hi_Lo on any site, or playing a multi-table sit and go on Full Tilt because those are the most unreasonable AI laden games out there. When I want a vacation from having to think too much I like a little low stakes Elimination Blackjack to while away the time.

To UB/AP's credit, the program has been cleaned up a bit and it's not quite as bad as it was a year ago. But, I have a long memory and how things weird happen like - 3 out of 3 times a player took a hit on a hard 19 and drew a 2. The splitting of tens is not automatic like it used to be. It still happens far more often than it should if your playing blackjack by the book. In general the play by the rest of the table is "Ohmigod, I have a pair, I'm allowed to split, so dang it, I'm gonna do it!"

So Alendar, already playing somewhat suspiciously AIish, scores a pair of fours on a dealer upcard of a king takes a long think before his move, I've already thought - oh geez, he's going to split them, and it's going to pay off. You betcha. Takes a hit on the first, scores a 6, and then having amazing skills of precognition does not take the 9 that I got and busted on.

After this, things actually weren't too bad and Al didn't advance and I did grab a few chippies with a fourth place finish. Yet, it still irks me that for 8 years there seem to be people that just plain know what that river card is going to be. Actually, there's a lot of joking chat about scanners and stuff like this.

Puntangsue

Pribably the newest version of FreclkedMom.

I have seen this "person" way too many times in recent days. At 3:00 pm and 12:30 am today. Actually, not very skilled.

Pun is on with the program of the Omaha Hi-Lo "You just can't be successful in this game unless you are all-in" mental state that pervades these sites.

Ad she's not even sitting in the cardroom. She's not logged in.

This just screams out RIGGED AI, RIGGED AI, RIGGED AI.

Reminder about some ground rules

I have the skill to sit at pretty much whatever table I want on the free money games with a reasonable chance of success. So, Full Tilt, why did you decide my 2k buy-in single table Hold'Em game was worth rigging it? Now, this is a bit premature since it was only one bad night and I did finish in the money in third(through superhuman patience.) But, come on... One ace in 28 hands? Now that has just come up on my radar screen. Time to give Omaha Hi-Lo a bit of a rest and play more of these single table tourneys.

Since the two table games always followed the pattern of me getting riducuosly short stacked I'm sure I will see more of the same.

As for my brief check in on City Poker. None of the familar faces after the update. Finally after a hard weekend of making my life miserable regardless of what weird time I was playing, you took a nap.

Keep tweaking the program. I'm smarter than you. I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Well that's interesting

Long ago before I knew the affiliation between UB and AP I saw how the Omaha play was weirdly similar. And long before I started spending significant time I noticed the (bad) play on CityPoker was a mtach.

Tonight I had to install an update an all three sites.

The jury is still out, but it's looking more and more like these sites are all operated from the same server, or at least they communicate with each other, share the bots programs and police the sites with significant amounts of AI.

Dear Racers on AP/UB

Thank you noticing me tonight. Again, I sat in (or mostly watched) your bogus race tables and how they continue to just be an all-in bingo-fest. I understand that perhaps you are just a group of friends that want to play like braying jackasses. But as the tables have constantly ( and reported and posted in this blog with hard evidence) had "players" acquire an impossible number of chips, you have come up on my radar screen.

Instead of taunting me and telling me to leave the table because apparentlly I'm not worthy to "race" with you, you'd be a lot better off at just shutting down the table. It's NOT a race table I'm unwelcome on. It's MY table.

I've forgotten more about Omaha Hi-Lo then you will ever learn. Which means since I know it's rigged I will fold an incredible number of hands, time out a lot and sit in on your bogus race tables every single chance I get.
Here's a ltittle help since you obviously need it - 7pm to 10pm EST is where I do a lot of my play (oh, but you know that, don't you?)

Weekends, you just never know when or where I'll pop up

Sipe is certainly worth keeping an eye on

Now that AP and UB have merged the evil of the race table is ever present on two different databases.

As a reminder for the uninitiated, a race table is an Omaha Hi-Lo game where you go all-in bingo on even the most marginal of hands, and the wait list is filled with feeders stupidly go all in on even less than marginal hands and lose, rebuy, and repeat until after losing several hundred thousand chips they obviously had no skill to acquire, finally give up the ghost and disappear. Then they are replaced by a further clueless donk that does the same.

Since I love to get the great shots of someone getting millionjs of chips, and since the basic program is really pretty bad, I like to watch these tables instead of playing myself. I don't need the chips, collectively I have something like 5 million now. It's more fun for me to go...."Hey, wait a second! That's weird."

The problem with Sipe is that he's ALWAYS located at the same position on the table. Upper left. OK, if these are real people playing their bogus race table, I can undersatnd that you have favorite seats and want to be there. I've caught Sipe in the same spot on the table something like seven times now in the last two weeks. Are you really that anal about your magical seat?

Or are you AI?

These two shots were taken two seeks apart.

Why I love Omaha Hi-Lo

Straight up, O Hi-Lo is a fun game. It flattens out those stretches where a two card Hold'em hand doesn't get you anything to work on.

But, since things aren't straight up you get to see a lot of weird and crazy crap. Which I love more than the poker. The math just simply does not work. I suspect that all the cheating is to give the AI an illusion of skill and to fill up the menu.

One table has over 3 million chips on it. The second is better because on a 2k max buy in there's someone who has 500.000. There's obviously a lot of farm feeding going on here.

I would prefer to kick a fellow human being's butt, but sadly I have to constantly play against bad AI.

And you get to see the Race Tables. A race table is just another excuse for "players" to go all in bingo, playing like braying jackasses instead of having an ounce of skill. And the jackasses are rewarded for playing like an idiot, because there are feeder bogus "players" that are so willing to lose all thir chips to the vacuums.

Sipe17

When I look at the Omaha Hi-Lo experts (cough cough) playing their bogus race tables, Sipe is always in the same seat

Home Court Advantage

Yeah, if I where an admin on the site, bored silly about the once in a blue moon real human plyer popping in, I'd cheat, too.

Buy in at 80k on a max buy in table of 20,000. On an obviously fradulent table.

Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing...

Second consecutive night I looked through every single hi level no limit Omaha Hi-Lo table on Absolute without seeing any of the completely unreasonable all-in mentality idiots that I've played against and watched for weeks. Remember what I said about the update a couple of nights ago.

The Matrix math revealed

Yes, there is a benefit to playing this game versus playing a single table game. That is, if you're a competent player. I experienced my first 1st place finish on the overall matrix points for knockouts and survival on a 2,000 chip buy in.

My results to the left - overall first place 1,800+ one first place 1,800 + 1 second place 1,080 = 4,680 gain. Minus the 2000 buy in, the net is 2,680. Now, if I had played four single table tournaments with one first and second, results not uncommon for me, I would have +9,000 for a first, +5,400 for a second -8,000 for entry fees for a net of +6,400. More than the 4,680 for the matrix game, but what you save is something that is all precious to us. Time. The entire tournament tonight lasted a very reasonable 1 1/2 hours. Under optimum conditions you could play 4 matrix tourneys in the time it takes to play one single table game and multiply the $4,680 by four, with your net gain being about 10k better. Adjust this downward some since it must take longer to play a matrix game than a single player game.

So, as long as things are on the up and up, this is worthwhile. Tonight's cards where very random. I lost to a bad beat with a pair of kings. I won a bad beat on the river with a pair of kings. I had flops match hole cards every once in a while. The betting was a tad more aggressive than what seemed sane, but not obvious like an Absolute Omaha Hi-Lo game. I still get the sense that is just in a beta test, but for now I pronounce it safe.

Updates and who is playing and more Matrix on Full Tilt

Logging into AP tonight I was greeted with a friendly message I've seen many times before.

"There's a new version of our software, click here to install."

No, it's not a new version of the software. It's an update to the database.

I haven't played a whole lot of serious poker on AP lately. It's been far to much fun to watch "players" like Underboss, Am_I_Bluffin, Mouthy_One, etc... play bingo night after night. Add Freckledmom and Zippy from months ago to that list.

Now, suddenly they have grown tired of playing extreme bingo and posting "WEEEEEEEEEEE" in the chat and as I scan through all the free money Omaha High-Lo tables they aren't playing anymore. The only player I'm suspicious of that I've sat in with over the past few weeks out of dozens is PUNTANGSUE. (pause as I write that down for future reference.)

So, the collective has moved on. They must have found a site more enjoyable to earn 4,000,000 free money chips in a day and bet all in against each other. Nah, you just updated the database with a new stable of names. Like I've said. Seen it before. Without fail every new version of the software load has been equivalent to change the AI stable of names.

Another Matrix tourney on Full Tilt tonight. For now it's still fun, because it's different. But, I've already thought about the math some, and it's not a game to play to try and seriously win some major chips. You'd just be better off playing a two table game. Each of the four tables has a 1st to 3rd payout. The point score for the four tables has the same 3 player payout. Iif you take first on every table and you win the points for the matrix that's 9,000 x 5 = 45,000 maximum on a 10k buy in, net 35k. The thought that someone gets such great cards and is so skillful that they can accomplish this is completely unreasonable. I have essentially broken even on my expeditions into this game. And that's what should be expected assuming players of equal skill. So, tired of playing hearts on your PC, go ahead and play this game. You'll either lose your 10k buy in or break even.

There's a new game in town - and it's fun!

Matrix poker on Full Tilt. Intense. It requires being able to process a lot of information in a hurry. For now, I'm still sure it will end up being rigged, but they were kind enough to me tonight to allow a 5th place finish that I won an astoung (gasp!) 800 chips on a 10k buy in. But since I took the chumps for 20k at Omaha, I'll let it slide.

The basic premise of Matrix poker is that you play the same 8 other players on 4 9 player tables. Points are awarded for knocking a player out (beating when they go all in) and surviving. If you aren't artificial intelligence, you have to be careful that you don't click the wrong box on the wrong table...like raising when you have 26 on the table that you were trying to raise on your pair of aces. Or folding your nut flush thinking it was your pocket pair getting a solid set.

As I said, the play is quick. Not just lightning quick. Lightning juiced up by Comcast high speed internet's metallic substance from their commercials with some hog slime and 5 gallons of caffeine put on top of it quick.

I relish the challenge. I can play four tables competentely at one time. This should be a break from the tedium of folding millions of hands at Omaha Hi Lo. And if I'm right, within a couple of months, just like catching UB in Beta test on blackjack, they will begin to make even me taking fifth almost impossible.

Bigbadbrad, take a seat chump, there's a new record for insanity on AP

This table has every indication of being continually more and more unreasonable, but I have plans to watch Monday Night Football and Dexter, so I need to finish this post before 9pm. And since tomorrow is trash day I have to do a little maintenance instead of just screwing around on bogus poker tables tonight.

If you search this blog back into the "Freckledmom" period you will find that I sat in on a 20k max buy in table where someone with a handle of something like "Bigbadbrad22" amassed 2.3 million chips within a couple of hours. And, to top it off there was another couple of million chips at the table.

The new trick works like a charm. To find an obviously bogus table on AP one simply needs to go to the no limit Omaha Hi-Lo games and search for the biggest waiting list. The betting is moronic. In these past seven years I've often seen just one or two players at a table bet like a madman and watching the other incompetent players continue to call on the stupidest crap. These newer ultra-aggressive tables have EVERYONE going all in on almost every single hand. If these are real people (yeah, right) they have been trained that if you stay at a table long enough and keep betting like a dork, eventually some shit will stick on the wall.

(Touchdown Houston! That's my pick!)

Uber has more chips than Brad amassed that magical night months ago. And, I saw him top 2.6 million at one point. (Screenshot has been taken.) And, along with Spiceyone at this same table and AM_I_BLUFFIN? from this weekend, these 'people' simply do not just sleep, and they have nothing better to do with their lives than go all-in on an Omaha Hi-Lo game all day long. No short pee breaks. Posting insane amounts of idle chit chat.

(Another side note - you use the phrase "Weeeeeeeeeeeee" way too much on a winning hand. And the phrase "hun" shows up regularly. Hint, "Hon" short for "Honey is more common than your use of "Hun" which makes it look like you are being affectionate with Attila.)

THE MATH DFOESN'T WORK. Change the program, or banish me.

Old news

http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/60minutes/main3415.shtml

Well, it doesn't tell me anything I didn't already no. This is about the Incidents at Absolute Poker October 2007 and the UB scandal from this year. It's nice to see a high profile outfit like 60 minutes tackle this since other than me there's only like 3 or 4 people that visit. Thank you, Tammy for bringing this to my attention.

Newest trick

It's pretty easy to spot the really bogus games. Just join the table with the biggest waiting list.

And you get an impossible number of chips, insane two year old chit chat. "Players" that are so willing to feed the pot without playing competively.

Got three more screenshots of this all in nonsense that pervades the internet poker world.

Raising does not equate to competence.

Apparently, the two year olds have figured out that on the free money tables there are 'farms' they can feed off of. So, the jackasses raise on even the most marginal of hands, because it pays off.

How are you going to explain this one?

Is it just a bug, or is it that you don't want me to see the fraudelent play? Six players registered out of the seven to fill the table, and I can't play because the table is full.

First, let's talk about the latest on CityPoker.

Fresh off of an obviously bogus 35 hands with no ace Hold'em session, I take a shower and a good nap and log on to An Omaha Hi Lo game with some player named MINEZ. Very interesting that I had one ace in 39 hands. Can't be proven here, so let's get on with it.

MINEZ, if a real person, typifies what is so god awfully wrong about internet poker free chip tables. Apparently, the sites are rigged to encourage the all-in mentality. Reward the two year old, and eventually he'll come back to the table with Dad's credit card. MINEZ dropped over 200k free chips before he had a decent winning streak, including my all in. But, the jackass went all in on nothiong hand after hand after hand. And I had ONE ACE in 39 of those hands. In Omaha, where you're dealt four cards. Fugging ridiculous.

If I have to, I will start at the minimum 1000 chips. I don't care that you cheated your way out of 100k of my nearly 300k stack. Because, eventually, you will do something stupid. And I'll get the screenshot.

A long, long, loooooonnnng time ago I discovered that UB's blackjack was rigged. This game has the same 2 year old mentality that to be successful you have to bet like a jackass on even the most marginal of cards (again, assuming your a human and not AI.)

So, you are either a two your old braying jackass, or AI set to automatically split ever time you get a pair, and/or pre-programmed - it works. You split 4s against a dealer ten up card into a massive win. Unreal.

From the realm of the suspicious, but unproven -

Normally when I run my registry fixer I get either one error or no errors. Today I had 15. As this came on the heels of one of the most ridiculous poker sessions related to this table I have to wonder, do we have a little bit of hacking going on here?

Also strange is that UB had an update and I couldn't figure out how to find any play money tables. Cowards.

Now, let's address the table. This is just south of 2 million chips on a 40,000 max buy in. That's a net of beating nearly 50 players going all in. It's a given that if you have 40k to play at the table that you have at least some modicum of skill. And yet, you lose your 40k, rebuy, lose it. Rebuy. Lose it. To someone that obviously is getting incredible cards. Or, your rebuying and losing with ridiculously crappy cards like I got.

Sitting in on purpose on an obviously rigged table I was focused on not playing seriously. The hand histories are logged in on their database - 35 hands before I got my first ace.

You just got up on my radar screen City. My planned project of messing with Pokerstars again will have to wait a couple of weeks.

Bad admins take note - you can't be lazy and just let the rigged AI play for decades until a real human pops into the table. The huge stacks don't make you look competent. The huge raises don't make it look competent. It makes you look silly and stupid. But, you get away with it because unlike me precious few people actually sit at the table and watch the insanity.

Time for some UB blackjack if they'll let me in.

Gary, love the sentiment, but you're part of the problem. You were so convinced that it was rigged (which it was) that something like five hands in a row you expressed your disgust.

So certain it's a fraud, and for something like thirty hands more you linger around. And actively bet while I get crappy cards.

Just another dumb ass reason to raise pre flop. These sites are really running out of excuses.

Vacuums and feeders. And unreal poker. And you bring out someone named KARLOVAC?

Who isn't in the cardroom, even though he's at the sam table I'm sitting at.

Try harder.

Laughable.

But, let's backtrack to yesterday first.

Crazy4000 was one of those "players" that went all-in every hand. I sat in on that table because it looked like the most unreasonable one available. Vacuums and feeders. Crazy was an obvious feeder. An unlimited supply of chips and the claim that he was "going to lose them all to get rid of his addiction to this site."

And, I sat in on another "race table" that they yelled at me to get lost. Since a race table appears to be "bet pre-flop like a braying jackass on even the most marginal hands" I recognize that the internet poker community loves to bet aggressively and let God sort them out. And the sites comply by providing feeders (or farms like they were called in my old Dominion days.)

So, even if I am at a table with another real human, they're competing for the feeder chips. And not playing real poker with any thought behind it, they also bet really aggressive, because it works. Go all in, catch on the river, do some high fives, have a quickie with your girl, go back to the table and bet more like a braying jackass.

And maybe I'll start to think I'm good enough to play for real money.

It's a given that the sites have a stable of player names to chose from. Since I don't sleep right, I get to see the same names over and over and over again. I've seen how the AI often is present at multiple tables. Granted Thunderbird could have been mistaken about what table he's on, but if you're focused on winning, even if sleepy like he claimed, why do you post a two card hand on a four card Omaha game?

Keep on substituting betting for competence, I'll be there.

Excuses and Collateral Damage and Bingo

Dear Fudgezoo:

If you are a real independent person showing up at this table (which I doubt), there are a few simple rules for surviving rigged internet poker at the play money tables. Fortunately, these rules do not apply to me because I have this down to a fine art.

I'm sorry that I was one of the winners in the hand you complained about. If you were to review you would see that I never raised, only called, even though I had a nuts low winner.

Begin your game with a healthy dose of skeptism. Like me tonight, 8 hands with an ace in the first fourteen. An ordinary and unaware mortal would have been betting aggressively. My two choices are call or fold. Before I even begin to think about something like playing seriously I need two things - an ace, and a hand I folded that would have won.

The reason that Pilgrim raised every hand - that's what the PROGRAM told him to do. Because, if it was a real human that played that way, he'd never have enough chips to even buy in to the table. AI with an infinite chip stack is very, very brave.

Now, what about you?

As with 100s of tables I've played on these last seven years, you get the sense...hmmm...something is wrong here. And for a period of time, you keep coming back for more punishment.

Well, you're part of the database and part of the problem. No need to complain when I'm not hurting any real person where you've left the table on an unpopular game run for hours or even days and AI amasses an impossible number of chips. The admins really need to find new ways to deal with me. Whether it's bingo where the player has infinite chips or the player that can't lose (the two most common attempts at looking like a competent human) I will continue to spend hours getting great info.

Which reminds me Absolute - what happened to FreckledMom??

I was excited until I realized...

Omaha is my game. The best stuff here, other than the famous showdown with a pair of AAs, KKs, QQs, JJs, and the "other hand that miracuolsly was the winner" is usually from that. When I am in the mood for Texas Hold'em, I like the 2 table games on Full Tilt.

The real problem with tonight's game was the chat. It was insane, stupid and didn't match reality. It certainly had the feel of a pre-programmed game they dredged out of the woodworks. What makes me sad is that when the chat turned to the US election from two weeks ago as if it was happening TONIGHT, I got excited about the cool screenshot it would give me. Then, I realized that it wouldn't be dated, so it didn't prove anything. I could have taken it two weeks ago.

The only compensation I have for finishing 5th of 18 - which was a miracle since the play certainly looked like a "make me lose instead of playing to win game" is that I got a couple of names to investigate in the future, the satisfaction of knowing I probably burned off a pre-programmed game and brushing up on Hold'em.

For the record, here are the mistakes made:

Card's kiss Last Coke's butt early on, and he's the early chip leader. My AK and AQ first two hands weren't good enough to win either. I called the first bet on the AK, folded after a big raise. Folded the AQ immediately on the second hand. Saw the showdown and both were garbage. KT suited the fourth hand - folded immediately. Also would have been a loser.

One might tend to think that with three very playable hands out of the first four that you would have lost to a bad beat and not seen the insane chat.

The chat:
Last Coke bragging about how patient he was and how he was going to gut the guy that kept going all in. The same guy who was the chip leader when I exacted. RpyalGunner was a classic ???? are you talking about? type of position. That's the position that posted these messages (edited for the content, not the actual):

So, who do you think will win today's senate race in Minnesota?
I folded suited pocket 4s.
Please, no bullet, no bullet... (on a hand he'd already folded.)

Did you have a bullet and you didn't want one so you could justify folding? Could be. But with such an aggressive game - 2 tables to start, final table after 15 hands, nah, just seem like more "please don't kill me" nonsense.

You broke my string!

I went from less than 10,000 chips to over 100,000 on Full Tilt in less than two weeks. This isn't because of any real poker skill, but more so recognition of the pattern of play. That is, don't play a two table sit and go and expect your first two dozen hands to be a winner. Be patient, eventually the pre-programmed nonsense will burn itself out.

Naturally, my first hand of AQ offsuit would have lost to a pair of kings on the river. Great, I'm in my element - playing short stacked until the crap stops.

I have to confess - boy did I stink up the poker table tonght. I did finish tenth - just shy of making the final table. But I folded soooo many hands I should have called that eventually would have turned out to be winners. Please, make it more bogus so people like me have a better chance next time.

Nmes

OK, I'm registering for my first poker gane. What do I call myself? Fireman? Already taken. Pustule? Already taken.

Well that's weird.....Pustule is already taken.

Maybe....just maybe....my initials will be good. Nope. And it looks like all three letter combinations are taken. Damn.

Lost 400k.

And, I logged into a table with a player with 3 letters in his name.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Could this be a real person?

Let us go to the dumb ass site "Find Player" screen. Wow!!!! He does exist!!!!

But, ehhhhh........he's not currently in the cardroom. Even though he's sitting to my left.

If i didn't know otherwise I might think EJK was created on the fly and that this was rigged.

Hey Absolute dumb asses

There's four reasons I play Omaha Hi Lo on you.

First of all, you don't have a clue how to make it look for real. I continue my search for the table with the biggest stacks and keep at it. I sit for hours at a time, usually folding far more hands than a normal person would. And it usually works. It takes you far more energy to rig the hands than it takes me to fold it. (Repetitive again, yeah I know.) It's not Hold'em, and it's a game they offer that is really just a fat ass chick who the dumb guy wants to sleep with out of desperation type of impress "go all in" mental set. I'm going to kill this guy with my boobs!

Second, Texas Hold'em is still the top game on the site. Hmmmmmm.....what if someone (me) was a geniune Omaha Hi-LO whiz and your cheating AI wasn't prepared for it? Compnesate by rigged AI? You betcha!

Third, OK, stop the chat. Don't use the lame chat as your cover story as an explanation on why there is so much dumb ass raising pre-flop. I'm not stupid.

Fourth - Despite you're obviously bobus attak on me tonight, I still have over 3 million chips.

We are Anonymous.
Expect Us.

Just a wee tad tiresome

Never knowing where to pop in with my cumulative 4 million chips I've been tryin' to spread the fun around as much as possible. After a short hiatus I settled into Absolute tonight. Knowing about the feeder and vacuum AI positions my first table was, as I've been doing, just a shade south of reasonable - too many chips for a 20k max buy in.

Like what also has happened these past few weeks, the guy with the enormous stack leaves almost immediately after I show up. Thanks for the respect, dude. (dud?)

Ergo, a switch to CityPoker since they have not given the indications yet that they recognize what I'm all about. My 240k chip means I can play for hours and just watch what is going on instead of serious play. I didn't have to wait and use my famous patience at all. The very first table had the 4 chip leaders with over 900k. And on this site it's a tenk maximum buy in for Omaha Hi Lo. And my good old buddy KERPOKER is at the table again instead of sleeping. And KER turned into an extreme full tilt feeder. I guess I'd be upset and raise every hand full tilt if I never got the chance to catch a couple of zzzzs.

Again, think about the math. The problem isn't so much that azzwipe has nearly 600k. There are a couple other positions that have pretty big stacks, and the assumption is that Azz and them know what they are doing. Careful, cautious, no when to fold and know when to raise. But there are three or four other positions at the table that just constantly raise, raise, call, call, call and lose massive amounts of chips to the vacuums.

I know you've heard this before, but - if you're that freaking stupid, where did you get the chips to keep rebuying the 10k? Even without beer and playing for 5 hours I doubt I could score almost 600k on this site. Not with the crappy cards and mismatched flops that I get hit with and competent opponents.

It must be AI on a site that is pretending to have real people playing running for days before finally an unlucky real human meets up with their fortress.

Bump of old news

One tries not to be too repetitive, but it's not always possible when the same mistakes are being made over and over again. In the category of "making it look for real" I found this table to be highly suspicious, although it wasn't obviously fraudelent.

I lingered for a little over 50 hands since I was extremely ace deficient during the early part. UB did make it up and I was only minorly ace deficient by the end. What raises an eyebrow is that in more than an hours worth of play there was only four lines of chat posted. Pocket888 (strange name - for Omaha hi-Lo pocket 888 pretty much sucks as a starter hand) scored a jack high straight flush and four nines within a span of five hands. The four lines of chat were Big Bundy congratulating him on the two great hands and Pocket thanking him.
In over an hour that's all the chat? No. "Gotta go - girlfriend is ready to go to the movies?" No, "Hi Hun!" (A personal favorite of mine.) No other posts about bad beats? This in and of itself doesn't prove a thing, but as I will be testing them over the course of the next few weeks it will be fun to see if they overkill and I get to sit at a table where the chit chat is fairly insane, or if it remains a ghost town.

If it's for real there's a happy medium. But kudos to UB tonight....this wasn't too bad.

Let me think about how realistic this is.....hmmm

I don;t need the chips on Absolute. I can fart around pretty much wherever I want. With my huge 3.3 million chip stack I would usually play on big limit all in tables. Since those have been set on "screw real human" mode the past few days, and with UB shutting down the fradulent blackjack, here I am back on Absolute.

Look at that crap. Hand four Chippimp has gone all in for every hand at built up a huge lead. Then irrationally he folds on a ten while the dealer has an upcard that looks like it's busting. And magically the next card makes Lani hit a 21. Overall it helped the table a lot more than it did me.

Dammit, if your gonna play stupid, be consistent and irrationally stupid. If there are supposedly 10kj plus playing on your site, play to win, don't play to make me lose. Because it's pretyy obvious that you're doing the make me lose thing.

It doesn't matter that EBJ is shut down on UB

Because their mother site, Absolute has it.

With the luxury of 3.4 million chips I get to sit in on an obviously rigged table - come on guys, 17 aces in 34 hands of Omaha high low, and I'm not up a massive amount of chips?

Now, the buy in for EBJ (Elimination Blackjack) is the same as on UB. One would tend to think that someone like me wouldn't even waste my time on it. The most I can score is less than 10k. Yet, you continue to prove that it's not random. You really, really, need to rethink this splitting tens thing.

By the book, splitting tens is a chump move that shouldn't work in the long haul, yet every single chance these guys get it's a given. And why it's a given is that it's the same old story of "I don't have to worry about my chip stack because I can instantly refresh it with the magic button." Bet all in every hand, play stupid and have it pay off. Play to make the real human lose instead of playing to win.

The work I'm mostest (yes, it's a real word) proud of is Elimination Blackjack on UB. Rewind a year or so and you can see I caught them in Beta testing where it's totally obvious it's populated by significant amounts of artificial intelligence. Let us rehearse the major sins:

1) Splitting tens almost every single time possible because that's the algorithm.

2) 3 for 3 taking a hit on a hard 19 and getting a 2.

3) The recent post and screenshot of 3 players hitting on a hard 13 when the dealer shows a 6 - and it pays of for every single one of them.

4) Despite the fact that it's a given that the house has an edge, the betting is hugely aggressive and it comes down to not a matter of if you win, but how much you win. And, as in a recent post some chump bets the max 100,000 on every single hand and it pays off, Got the screenshot of his fradulent 1 million chips.
Well, apparently, you overestimated the interest in your rigged blackjack game and utilizing my principles of how to play rigged internet poker I've been extremely successful at Elim Blacjack,

Starting yesterday, it's just not even available. It was a waitlist table game - even if there was no one playing you could join a list and sit and wait for hours until enough seats were filled. Now, it's just a Dead Zone.

The only question - are they re-writing the program or have they given up on it completley.

Cuevas, how do you do it?

Until I learn how to record these games, this is just one of those "take my word for it deals" instead of having hard proof.

Recently CityPoker has come up on my radar screen. Lots of fun irrational pre-flop raising. Lots of re-buys that lose to mo0re irrational raising. I had 9 hands with aces in the first 16. I had seven hands with ace-2 (Omaha hi-Lo) that would not have won if I was stupid enough to stay in on them in the first 26. More than 30 hands had gone by until I finally won a single hand. Naturally, knowing the rigged nature of the game and doing lots of folding instead of playing I managed to finish up for the night.

Early on, Cuevas was one of the worst of my enemies. Unlike my massive number of aces every single ace he caught led to a big bet, and at one point he had over 200k.

Once I finally called an end to the fradulent night - Cuevas, who had left the table - sits in at a a maximum 10,000k buy in table with 130,000.

I've seen this shiznit before on this site, so no big surprise.

This is why I love UB

After nuking the 50k chip stack I settle in to some fun and fradulent blackjack.

So typical and so obvious.

This chump goes all in every single hand and it pays off. Then to top it off, the rookie admin even posts a congrats message.

Like I posted after I left the table I nuked the 50k chip stack on, in the never ending competition of which poker site is the worst, UB is definitely in the lead.

Winning whiners galore - part 3

The whining about the stupid play and still winning aspect is a new twist that I'm unaccustomed to. Upon reflection, it only serves to prove my case even more.

1) You're not playing Hold'em where our matket research has spent all it's money on, and we do a fairly good job of making it look for real.

2) Let's rely on natural human impatience and make it that someone that dares to buy into a 20k Omaha Hi-Lo table has such a bad experience that they give up on the "weird" game.

3) Let's rely on human impatience and rig the first 20 hands so that they won't play the weird table. It didn't happen tonight, but let's also taunt the real human player for folding crap and not going all in like every one else does. For good measure, let's not compliment the real human/non-admin player for winning. Maybe he'll get sad and leave us alone.

No freasking way. You guys are all up on my radar screen. EVERY SINGLE POKER SITE I'VE PLAYED ON HAS SHOWN SIGNS THAT IT'S RIGGED TO THE GILLS.

And, you keep expecting me to play for real money?

Coming soon, a review of the worst events in the last seven years. Things like playing blackjack and taking a hit on a hard 19 and catching a 2. Yep, happened three times. Players busting on a 19 - 0

YFR!

Winning whiners galore - part 2

After a multitude of bad beats I did have a stretch of hands that made me whole again. After being very patient and folding a lot while watching the bad movie unfold. Actually, I had positive point flow for the night despite the bs.

The obvious vaccuums had left the table, and Boone shows up.

Despite the fact that he's massively up chips, he whines about the constant all-in betting. Dude...er AI....just enjoy it.

Winning whiners galore - part 1 of 3

As is usual, I pick what looks to be the single most unreasonable game based on the chips in play. I score big time on the first table. Yacht kept whining about being cheated by scanners the entire time. Yet, still he keeps coming back for more. And not only does he sit in every hand, he goes all in every hand.

I've grown accustomed to this collateral damage cheat, so naturally I avoid it. It's fairly obvious that Yacht solely exists to raise the pot. At one point he even had over $300k and still kept whining about being cheated by scanners (on a 20k max buy in table.)

Since it costs more energy to rig it than it takes me to fold I just keep watching the bad movie unfold.

End part 1

This is why we hate (and love) Elimination Blacjack on UB.

It;s a given - the house has an edge because you have to go first and risk busting. If real people where concerned about there chips it would be natural to expect that the betting would be low, but again and again and again, AI that doesn't have to worry about the chip stack gets the luxury of betting massively every single hand.

If it was for real and people were playing to win and not just mindless raising this table would have had something like 20k total chips out. It's not like you were dealt a pair of aces pref-flop in hold'em - you just raised to the max totally on the fly before ever seeing any cards dealt to you. It's the blackjack version of bingo.

Why is it that every single elimantion BJ game I play has so much heavy betting (other than me) on the first hand.

K...I'll tell ya. Because it's rigged AI with nothing to lose since the chip stack can be magically refreshed and I can play on without earning it through being smart.

Even when you don't do the stupid stuff like hitting on hard 13 when the dealer has a 6 showing, the betting patterns are obviously stupid.

Please send me an email that says, "Dear 'X', we acknowledge your pain. I realize we have been screwing you over this past few years. I promise in the future you will only play against REAL poeple that are concerned about whether they win or lose."

Betting, and why the math don't work

Because, there is a constant stream of "people" so willing to call the irrational dumb ass pre-flop raises.

I try not to be too repetitive, but this gets a bump. Apparently, and this every single poker site, the way to play Omaha Hi-Lo is to go all in on even the most marginal of hands every single hand. This "bingo" philosphy is so pervasive that one tends to think the sites are all controlled by the same people.

And the reason bingo exists - oh something like 95% of the positions you butt up agaisnt are some lame ass that can't think of a better name than hhhhhhhhjjjkkkllll or whaqtever this moron was playing on the fly with, and they don't actually have to earn any chips. The stack will magically be refreshed. And, in general, when I'm in on a hand the raising is bigger than when I'm not. Glad to know you hate me. Blackjack on UB betting coming right up.

The magnanimous benefactor (after cheating you all game long.)

Kammie was in on the "Monty Haul" fun for several hands. Surely they would claim that she's just reall tired an needs to get some sleep.

But, if you're soooo tired that you aren't willing to play competive, why play at all? Just go to sleep instead of playing all in max every hand - the game didn't take THAT long.

So, KAMMIE and the other 3 players are met with this friendly message about how she's going to sit out and be eliminated by playing it cool. I didn't - I was in "Monty Haul" mode all the way.

You can bet the max, hit until you bust every hand and spend less than 2 more minutes of your miserable AI life and assure it if you are that magnanimous, instead of me actually thinking about the player I did eventually beat out for second place. Naturally Ms "All-In Max almost every single hand" took first.

Only one picture per post, so please bear with me

The follow up will be posted shortly-

Elimination blacjack on UB, since it is rigged, follows three basic patterns.

1) Everybody behaves themselves and plays like a realistic gambler. This happens, oh maybe 33 1/3rd% of the time. The dealer wins a normal amount of hands.

2) The dealer is invincible and you survive by playing normal. This also happens 33 1/3rd% of the time.

3) The dealer just bankrupted the casino. Massive raises all around that keep winning. Except me until I realize it's a "Monty Haul" table and start the successful aggressive betting campaign.

Preferring #1 and #2, my betting strategy is pretty conservative. This player didn't just indicate "Monty Haul." It opened the window, and shouted out, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm Monty Haul!!!"

Not one, not two but THREE positions took a hit with a hard 13 when the dealer showed a six. If this happened in a brick and mortar casino I'm sure all observers would have to be dragged away laughing uncontrollably by security since the bets were so big AND it worked for them. But, since it's just a stupid little rigged free money game for my benefit since no real humans other than me were playing, it will be ignored in the annals of history.

But, you did give me a little tidbit to apply my famous investigative mind to - my qualifying table finished first. For giggles I checked the other table before it was done. Three hands to get to the last elimination hand that will eliminate one of the four left. And...what's this? Why are the cards being dealt at least 2 times faster than my table was? Hmmmmm....maybe because you allow for a human time to process the information and think about it, while AI needs no time to think?

This is something that can be proven, and since they stupidly let me take second several more games will be played and everytime I qualify for the final table I will be checking the speed of play on any other tables in the same tourney.

And this just 10-15 hands or so after sitting in onto this glorious and unrigged (snicker) table. Vivident - another name that just doesn't sleep on this sorry ass site went from the previous post of having well over 100k chips, raising every hand and losing it all since the vacuums had been changed to different positions. Namely, Hogs, went from a 1,500 chip buy in to damn near 100k in that span.

And me - hands won in 40 played 2. Hands folded that would have won - 1.

Glad I have your attention.

New Citypoker madness

Ohmigod...you just logged in and sat...I need time to rig...please sit out despite the fact the dealer button is ages away from you.

Internet poker is a fraud

I have the luxury of not having to pay attention to things like a wife and kids. Yeah, my dog hates my hobby, but he'll get over it.

My hobby - busting internet poker for the fraud it is.

Don't care too much about my chips. I care about you looking stupid. And with damn near a million chips on the table on a 10k max buy in table, this is about as bad as it gets. Come on, really?!

A million chips on a max buy in table of 10k? Think of the feeder support this needs. Think about how these dickweeds didn't butt heads against each other.

As always, if the free chip tables aren't for real, why the hell should I put real money into this?

Ooops, again (and again)

Tried to add my nemesis gamblgrl to the buddy list. Strangely, she doesn't exist. Strangely, remodidit, Jerry 585 and --pacesetter were added to the buddy list, but even though I'm at the same table they don't show up as being online.

Someone might be tempted to think that these players where created "on the fly" and that the game was rigged.

OK, yeah, right, sure, yup

Since I was screwed over on my 350k stack my new account has been kickin' ass. Back to the baby tables. Nothing new for me...often I've nuked the entire stack to prove that in a 3 player game I just simply don't win one in three hands.

But the crap still exists on the baby tables.

Nu only had 5000 chips or so when I sat in. As always, the game was pretty unreasonable. Since I fold a lot on unreasonable games the stupid admin decided to taunt me. (Not with these words, just by the actions.) Oh wow! look at my chip stack! Let's put a player on the table called "Get a Life". Because if you pretend to have a brain and sit on this table I'm going to kill you with my mad poker.....er.....admin cheating skills.

Now, look at the chip stack. Let me think about this for a second. You have a million chips play money. The signals say you're very good. You're playing on a crappy fixed limit free money game- way too low for a supposedly skilled player. And you have nothing better to do with your life than taunt me? And rig some hands of cards?

Don't tell me to get a life - you get a life. And stop posting me getting great screen shots of how awful this site is and internet poker in general is..

Cowards

I have the courage of a ton of statistical evidence, including lots of screen shots that bear it out instead of "Hey, guys....just take my word for it." For the longest time I wondered, why don't they just banish me from the site?

I haven't tried to disguise what my player name is. It's all out there in the open. I played on Full Tilt just last night. No problems other than the usual obvious AI. Today I get a blank login screen instead of autosave just letting me get on right away. OK, there's a "I forgot my password option." They email me a temporary password so I can reset it. So very kind of them. Since it doesn't work it's useless.

Having lots of sites to bust on I didn't mention this until now, but several months ago I encountered the same problem with UB's "Ultimate Buddy." That was a great source of damaging screenshots - all the joke user names and taunting. But they still let me play, at least until I attacked how unreasonable their fixed limit 1000-2000 tables were. About three weeks ago I was locked out of them with the same blanked out log-in info. And as far as I have found they don't even have a retrieve the lost password option. Being creative I have made another account, but I lost about 350k investigative folding chips losing the old account. I wonder how long the new account will last.

With options available, I logged on to CityP and lo and behold, for the first time in three weeks I did not see KEEPA, KERPOKER, HUGS2U and several other names that ALWAYS popped up at the Omaha Hi Lo tables regardless of when the hell I log in. But they still haven't quite figured me out yet. Usually the cheat is get bored and finally call hands with bad cards. Or, get lets of bad cards, when you finally get a good hand you get bad beat on the turn or river. Since I usually wait til I have the nuts or near nuts before I raise the fact that I had an ace in 7 out of the first ten hands and 15 out of the first 23 hands did not make me bet stupid. I ended up winning, but I had a stretch of approx 24 hands with lots of aces that I folded on that would not have won if I had stayed in. To their credit, City didn't have an overwhelming amount of irrational raising tonight. But, I attribute this to them keeping the major vaccuums in the stalls instead of bringing them out.

What the poker sites need to realize is that I am far from a rookie at doing this. It's not some angry rant after one bad night. I've been doing this for more than 7 years. Always alert for the subtle things, too. What is the chat like? Does this really look like a real conversation between rational human beings? Hey! You just raised when there's a window that you should have to wait until a menu option comes up! How did you buy in with 93k at the table I'm at with a 10k max? And so forth. There's definitely a Wizard of Oz behind the scenes manipulating what is going on.

But of course, since there is no good answer to issues like this, banishment is an attractive alternative.

Nice try, but I'm not buying it

This must have been a rookie admin mistake. I sit at a table with a 20k max buy-in where someone has 2 million chips that can't possibly be for real. JD whines about how it's obviously bogus. Bluffer keeps calling and winning.
JD, that's because you're what we call a "feeder". And the truth of it was proven over the next few hands. Why the hell would you keep going all-in every single hand if you were so sure that it was rigged?

The answer is because the table was trying to bait me into losing. In the first 9 hands I had 7 aces. An ordinary mortal would have called all of them or even raised. Not being an ordinary mortal I folded out and watched how only my first hand would have been a winner. Then, the next 20 hands had someone going all in pretty much every hand. I had a ton of great hole cards that I folded....that would have lost. Actually, thanks for the heads up - I did win 60k.

Dear CityPoker, Part 2

Let's start out with Insiders Betting Digest's article on how to choose a poker site that won't cheat you. At first I emphasized the section that referenced how most sites use 'bots to cheat you. The implication is that CityPoker, ergo, does not.

Here's what they say about "Critical Mass" being important to choosing a poker site (directly from the magazine) -

"You don't want to join a poker room and then find out there's no ome else to play against. There should be a minimum of 500 concurrent tables and 100 games playing at once. The more players at a specific site, the more games to play in. This means no long waits for a tournament to fill up or hoping that maybe tonight there will actually be some players at the Omaha tables. An abundance of players usually also equates to an abundance of new or bad players, which is a plus for your bankroll."

Then, why does this site offer obviously fraud filled free money tables? I've spent a little over three weeks here. And using the time honored tricks of taking vacation time and messing up my sleep schedule I continue to see the same names at the Omaha Hi-Lo tables at 2am, 5am, 8am, 12:30pm, 4pm, 7pm...welll, you get the point. In fact, this site's "stable" of fake 'bots is far smaller than any site I've busted. Pokerstars, Absolute and Full Tult are the worst for filling up the tables and showing you in the lobby that there are multiple 10s of thousands of "players" at the site. Tonight, City had no one playing 7 stud, 3 people playing Omaha Hi, and my table I purposefully picked because with a 10k max buy in, there's WAAAAYYYY too many chips at this table.

And the "poker" by these "players" was so ridiculous as to be laughable.

1) MyLife raised on everysingle hand except a three hand break in the middle of twenty.

2) There was a big pre-flop raise on every single hand in that stretch of twenty.

3) Every single hand, other than me, that had an ace at least called if not raised when it had an ace.

4) I was dealt a ridiculous number of aces (10 hands out of 25 had an ace) and I shared a pot in one. I only folded one that would have shared - two KKs on the board when my pocket eights would have won KK88 over KK77 - a very crappy high hand for Omaha Hi-Lo. Combined with the stupid raising it was obvious the cards were rigged to get me to waste my chips by betting instead of just the occasional call. You should know by know raising is something that happens for me once in a blue moon.

5) Chat is disabled when someone goes all in. Since there were so many hands with a player all in there's a very small window to post chat at times. Please give a logical explanation on how within a fraction of a second after a hand finished someone hand managed to type 15 or so characters on what a nice hand the winner had. (Hint, you can't - it's impossible.)

Maybe what you guys need to do is just stop offering the oddball games and only offer Texas Hold'em. Because, I will pop up ANYWHERE. Last night I sat in on 100-200 7 stud Hi-Lo fixed limit on Full Tilt and for an hour I was met with -

1) A "player" that raised every single opportunity.

2) Another position that complained about what a jackass "he" was.

3) 2 other postions (with their ohhhhhhh so scary 500,000 bankrolls) defending the jackass and saying ludicrous things about how he, "only raises when he has three low cards." Well, no, he didn't have every single hand dealt to him with three low cards. I'm not sure if the position from #2 was legitimately upset or just part of the scam. And the no aces in the first 22 hands things certainly looked a little weird.

So City, and the rest of you idiots, please remember. I'm competent. Focused. Your on my radar screen. If you can't make it look for real, just don't even offer the table.

No time is sacred on the weekend

This is curious. I got a glowing recommendation about CityPoker from InsideBetting Digest. The mag proclaims that they can differentiate between good sports betting sites and bad sites. And for the first time ever they rank poker sites.

Well, the poker thing is a huge bust. This site has all the problems that the other ones do. Specifically, the "Critical Mass" the magazine names. If you don't happen to want to play Texas Hold'em, you have to wait forever for your table to fill up and the game to start. So, let's fill it up with artifical intelligence. And then, to give the illusion of competence, let's make sure the AI has an infinite amount of chips to play on and can raise every single hand with no worrries.

So while I'm wiating for my rigged table to open up as I'm on the wait list I check out the other Omaha table available. Someone named Sports Book. Hmmmm.....

Do you maybe...
work for this fradulent site?