Playing with Vacuums

Just like MythBusters has taught us, playing with vacuums is a lot of fun. You should be cleaning your house, but disassembling the beast and making a hovercraft or cyclotron makes the machine far more interesting.

Playing with Internet Poker vacuums takes a mindset the average casual once a week player isn't prepared for. But the latest "upgrade" has made things a tad easier for me. After getting crushed last night on lowball so early I had way too much time on my hands to consider going to bed, so I played a Hold'em sitter. No big secret if you read up - I play two table games.

The games play out like at least half of the spots have to attend a Middle Eastern uprising or some other cosmic noteworthy event. In other words - heavy raising.

Not satisfied with just one third place finish in the manner I'm about to discuss, I just did it again. Two consecutive 18 player games with essentially the same script. And I finished third again.

It's defenestratingly(pseudo-real word) obvious that the competition on the free money tables is loaded with aggressive and non-random card receiving AI. Your mix of opponents are at least one vacuum on each table and several feeders that by thier play don't even belong at the game. If you have the dedication and superhuman power of patience that I have the players that continually risk 30% of their chip stack on a raise when in reality a modest bump would be more productive eventually butt heads with the vacuum.

The significance of this screen (not the hot Asian chick shots) is that I made it to 2nd most chips on the final table by winning 47 hands. (What...wait...my dog has his tennis visor on and has been banging away at the adding machine. The actual number of hands to reach the final table on an 18 player game is, um...1.

And the actual number of handsz to finish third and in the money is somewher between 1 and 3 and 1 and 3 don't count.

Time for anotherf one of your frequent updates that don't address any serious problems with the software but just change the way the AI plays. The current format is something I can't call "pretty weak", it's ugly weak. 3rd place winning two hands is not real poker.

And to top it off since there was absolutely zero chat activity other than my single post. Vacuums don't chat, despite all the candy, flowers and sex toys I've sent Freckledmom. I posted "d switch to channel 2." My intent was (before the second winning hand) to present myself as a colluding cheater in future chat. Even though this comment desrved at least a WTF? and even with all the bad beats there's no "nh" or "ty" chat.

Enjoy your Libyan protest. I'll get back to you. All weekeknd long.

Damage Control Fail

It's no big secret that I've been feasting on lowball and how there's just way too many positions playing like it's to play for high. And tonight I'm greeted with this friendly message trying to explain away how rational human beings get lost and forget that it's not the table they thought it was.

Two words come to mind. Ben and Jerry.

Obviously you are working on such a massive sugar rush that you've forgotten where you are.

Here's a PokerStars reg screen where 5 card draw and lowball are both available. The Lowball is separated by a larger 10k buy in from the straight up 5 card draw high hand wins.

Now let's talk about the reg screen. 5 card draw and Single Draw Low are separated by more than one spot. I farted around a bit looking to see if you could make a combination of registering settings that you might accidentally get bounced off the game you thought you were playing into an alien table.

Me and my crack team of registering experts (me and the dog) have to call bullshit on this. Unless you are all Charlie Sheen clones so methed out that you have no fucking clue what's going on.

Eight Game Works for the Same Reason as 7-2 Lowball

Despite my best uncompensated efforts to train PokerStars that they really ought to do themselves a favor and stop offering draw lowball they continue to suffer massive fail. AI simply just hasn't graduated to SkyNet level intelligence yet and/or has recognized that if they get too sporty Milla Jovivich is just going to show up with a samurai sword and a lot of guns and kick their sorry asses to kingdom come for creating so many Internet zombies.

This table failed on so many levels even me and my crack team of bored while I'm typing experts (the dog) had to pinch ourselves to find out if I was still awake. And, if you've ever seen a dog without an opposable thumb try to pinch itself....trust me. It's pretty comical.

8 Game has the advantage over 7-2 draw in that there's only 6 positions at the table. Which makes the statistics of this table even more impossible. First hand - not just one but two positions don't have a clue it's low hand wins. One position sits out start to finish. One position is the ever loving vacuum that calls virtually every single hand and gets cards way better than average.

OK let's do a count 2 playing high, 1 sitter, 1 vacuum, me. Adjust for solar storms, carry the three, divide by Pi...square root...apply Coulomb's law on magnetic attraction...check if Schroedcinger's Cat is still alive and we get the result.

One position with apparently random cards and a minutiae of talent intersted in the outcome of the game.

The minutiae man, realizing he looked silly in his Colonial uniform and awkwardly holding his musket died not so valiantly in battle to the vacuum. This is not terribly surprising as a vintage British army from the 1700's armed with vacuums obviously has superior tech.

I've seen this before dozens of times, and it really doesn't help the case of Xenu being wrong and Internet poker being right. The vacuum has the arrogance to sit out and I get the easiest chips ever, the sitter is gone and vacuum magically wakes up.

Unfortunately the best response I have, better than nothing, is to unplug the PC as one last gesture of defiance. At least you don't get the satisfaction of me playing out your riggedy rigged table.

Quick Post About Freckledmom

Here's the facts:
I spend several of my 11 years of doing this on Absolute Poker where Freckledmom is the most astoundingly obvious piece of rigged AI in all of Internet Poker. Since all sites are equally horrific I move on to give my special brand of love to others and don't log into Absolute for literally years. Upon my triumphant return, Freck is back in business. Two times I sit at the same table and Freck is gone before I'm dealt a hand. Now for more than a week she just even showing her icon anymore.

Cowardess.

Major Advances in Internet Poker Cheating in the last 11 years.

Dig back in here and you'll see I've made the claim that it was just one - the idiot raiser was the guy that bad beat you. About 7 or 8 years ago it switched to the idiot raising into the caller (refernce the recent post on clueless morons playing high on lowball.) Granted my superpowers include an insane amount of patience on top of math, logic and recognition of Hot Asian Chicks being the one thing that reall keepsw me going, but I have to give PokerStars some kudos on a development over the past couple of years.

Let's call this the Hot Asian Chick Congressional Meeting Legs table. The chick has impossibly gorgeous legs and they just go on and on forever. They probably don't touch the floor. Even as the real human might be successful they have to worry about cooking dinner, peeing paying bills and basically just sleeping for the next day. If one gets cheated within the first three hands you might be tempted to start another game.

So, let's tease you and drag it out for two hours.

Yes, I want to watch the new episode of Hawaii Five-0. Grace Park kicks ass. She's no Jarah or Sora, but it's something I'd like to do before me and the dog escape to happy sleepy land. Eight years ago I could have played 3 tables with opponents very unconcerned about the buy in.

As I am about to turn in to a couch potato before beddy-bye, I say this to PokerStars. This spuds for you.

And the Bad Remakes Continue

Trifecta is a word known in the gambling world. It's mostly known as a horse racing term involving picking three horses that nets you a good pay off. It also has two more obscure meanings. In ancient Roman times when a colloseum visitor had a bad day his comrades would tell him to "Try Fecta." Fecta, being a delicious ensemble of horse meat, ice cream and Ben and Jerry's ice cream was a sure fire way to abate your failure when topped off with two forty's of Belgian malt liquor.

The other meaning is one we at The Big Lay Down know very well. When searching for bogus tables, if you've got two in a row, it's pretty easy to get the third. This one is a little bit more subtle, but still there's a sacrificial horse (sorry lambs, horse theme tonight.) that has no clue that this is a lowball game.

You made an unwise bet, you were called. You discard one card. You follow with being all in on two pair in a low game. Therefore, by logical deduction you had a pair even before the one card you drew.

Now, if you're serious about bluffing the only play is to stand pat. Instead we draw one and die. Nice trade. Try fecta.

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After waiting for Sora at the airport for 7 hours this morning without seeing her I realized my espionage plans may have been compromised. Me and my crack team of espionage experts (me, the dog and the bed bugs) had a campfire huddle up and we have to suspect something. Sora Aoi, Asian hottie extraordinaire, might just be a double agent. The evidence - her last name is Aoi. Think about it. Artificial Oriental Intelligence. I don't care how hot you are, you and I will never play the PokeMon trading card again. Bitch.

Bad Internet Poker Movie Scripts

PokerStars Lowball 7-2 draw tables play out like a bad movie with a horrible script, time and time again. The unimaginative theme is that someone does not have a clue that they are playing lowball and sacrifices themselves within the first few hands to another spot that does have a clue. (Which is never me.) After seeing the same version of this script two nights in a row I activated wheels I set in motion months ago. The proof is in the chat...the dumb ass had the chance to throw away an ace and maybe get the best hand, but nooooo....I'll stand pat and of course lose.

Me and my crack team of espionage experts (me, the dog and a dozen trained bed bugs) infiltrated the PokerStars script writing room and planted three moles. The first mole was a tell tale blemish made by the bugs on each writer. It innocently looks like a mole instead of a bug bite. Not terribly useful for the intelligence operation, but knowing I've drawn blood gives me a warm and cozy sense of satisifaction.

The other moles are more insiduos, and will surely never be traced back to me. After buying Jarah a year long supply of Ben and Jerry's for 2011 (that's why she hasn't done much modeling lately - she's put on a few pounds and doesn't have to worry about that ice cream monkey on her back for a year) she agreed to pose as the office manager. Giving her the alias of Janah Scwharts, an amiable Belgian ex-schoolteacher, she has blended in perfectly and gained there confidence.

Next up is Sora Aoi, the staff "gopher." Giving her the alias Sola Aoi and knowing nobody would ever think a Japanese porn star would interchange an "r" for an "l" she has been able to plant audio and video surveillance devices in the script writer's room during dedivering coffee and doughnuts.

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The video reveals some very telling and damning facts. The script writing team is made up of the grandson of the writer from Plan 9 from Outer Space, the nephew of the writer of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, the writers of Battlefield Earth, Congo and Highlander 2, the writers of NBC's amazingly predictable "The Cape" and is rounded out by 5 writers of porno films (that generously call them movies despite the fact that there's only so much you can do with pizza delivery and plumbing problems.)
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The audio feed was inhibited somewhat by the purchase of Radio Shack going out of business sale equipment, but we did pick up enough to confirm what we thought here at The Big Lay Down.

"Allright guys, this Xenu guy has been poking around here being annoyimg. The boss says we need ten new scripts by tomorrow or we're all fired."

"I got one! Let's get James Woods to play a neurotic alpaca farmer who can't stop talking about his bestial affairs!"

"That sucks. I can't remember the last time I saw Woods in a film. I like the alpaca idea, but let's leave the livestock sex out of it and just have him chat constantly about them."

"Good one - and we can use our leverage on Lindsay to play like a train wreck while coked up."

"This is new, fresh and exciting."

"It needs more. Let's throw in a deposed Middle Eastern dictator with threats of violence."

"Oh my God! I am just CREAMING my jeans thinking about how this will come out!!!"

"Aliens! It needs aliens! They're controlling our minds and making us play stupid poker."

"A cameo by James Earl Jones as the moderator requesting English only chat would set the game on fire!

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At this point the foreman of the writers stood up, grabbed a doughnut from Sora and reminded the group they needed multiple scripts. Clearer not wanting to lose their job heads prevailed and the foreman finished the brainstorm with this -

"Fuck it. Let's just have a clueless idiot play stupid to feed someone else, let's have five other spots use lots of time pretending they are thinking and give the human really crappy cards. Repeat this for 9 more games. The poker playing population is clueless. Look at all the movie remakes they've watched in the last 10 years."

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As they broke for lunch I called my team and told them to make haste out of there before they were caught.

Two Hands That Ruin What Could Have Been a Believable Table

Me and my crack team of dozens of hands played a night experts (me and the dog) do bump up into the once in a million years table where the cards are magical and it seems like we are destined for some positive chip flow and some quality time with the new SI swimsuit issue, despite the glaring absence of Jarah.

Look at the moderator post on the early hand. Doodlefluffer CALLS with a straight on lowball. Me and the dog can almost believe this if he BET trying to bluff, but as happens almost every single day there's a sacrificial lamb feeding another position that just has no clue they logged into a lowball game.

Even more irritating is the chap that called and left himself with 15 chips. These 15 chips are not going to make or break you. If the game was on the up and up. Might as well go all in and hope to pick up an extra 15, since if you lose you're existentially fucked. Why am I not surprised that this position finished in the money and I didn't? Why am I not surprised that a single character of chat wasn't posted in over an hour and a half?

I am sorry I called you doodlefluffer. I used up my limit of the phrase "faggot cheater" at work today for the bitch that has the office I should have with the nice windows and new blinds.

I Am a Coward

This morning after waking far earlier than I wanted to I dial switched my way into the Patrick Warburton movie "Rock Slyde" (if you can really call it a movie - it sucked) and I was just about to give up on it when I found out his purpose was to save his awesome coffee making secretary from the evil cult of Bartology. Recognizing the obvious Scientology parody I stuck it out.

Now, why I'm a coward is that when I want to bust on something I've picked some very easy topics. Scientology is rapidly imploding. Outdated, bizarre and just a big global scam. Animal rights is another favorite. Newsflash - insects by definition are animals. A multi-celled heterotroph. More animals have died in the name of your veggie meal than have been saved for you to get that veggie meal instead of eating a burger.

Internet poker is in the beginning stages of imploding. Night after night the cards just simply are not random, the play is bizarre and they just give off an air of desperation to garner a few more bank accounts to drain before quietly slinking away.

Getting cheated at poker should be far down the list on people's fun things to do. My long list is:

1) Taking care of the dog.
2) Hot Asian chicks.
3)

Well, that's pretty much it. Keep up the irrational raising. Keep up the clueless idiot postions that call the all in with a straight when four spades are showing. (Yep, happened tonight.) Keep up the no chat. (Yep. Happened tonight.) And in general keep up the lack of humanity that shows the game is just being policed by rigged AI.

I will be the first to put on my boogey shoes and dance on your grave when you are gone.

The PokerStars Drinking Game- Sposnored by the Makers of Ipecac

One of my true regrets in life is that I didn't drink malt liquor until my 30's. I missed out on a great college age drinking game called Edward 40 hands. Duct tape a malt liquor 40 to each hand, the first that finishes them off is the winner.

There are lots of lame drinking games out there. Jennifer Aniston has hard nipples on Fr5iends - everyone drinks. Zombies talk about eating brains - everyone drinks. Everyone wants to drink and forget about bs Internet poker - everyone drinks.

After the wild drunken orgy complete with livestock and music turned up way too loud the participants pass out nnd wait until the next day's calling off work and preparing for the uncomfortable meeting with the parents. "Donnie, eat some soup - you look so bad." Force down the soup, take a tylenol, make it through the day and have a hair of the dog tequila.

As we here at the Big Lay Down are concerned about our youth we have developed some friendly tips. First of all - don't date Jarah Mariano. She's way out of your league and the Ben and Jerry's tab is more than you make in a year.

And now, adjust the drinking game to these rules:

If the first hand doesn't have someone going all in, take a drink.
If the first hand doesn't have someone hitting the 14 second warning take a drink.
If the first hand doesn't have someone posting a chat about the idiot play of the all in jackass take a shot of ipecac.
If your pair of aces is bad beaten take a shot of ipecac.
If someone posts lol on a tied hand, take a shot of ipecac.
If someone acknowledges you by your real screen name take a drink by a swallow of ipecax.
If you are playing against at least one hot Asian chick, pound the remaining 40.
If you don't have anything better to do with your life than cheat at Internet poker take a swig of hemlock. It will be very liberating

And the Internet Poker Zombies March On

And it's only February. But, Internet poker February zombies was copyrighted by George Romero, so my lawyers tell me I'm forced to settle for this.

Pretend time again, and not the kind with the magazine that has the naked hot Asian chick. Let's assume I'm wrong (which I'm not) and that these freed money tables are populated by real people. Isn't it an amzing coincidence that since PokerStars last update on their already awesome software that every single table I've played on has had several players getting the friendly message that they have 14 seconds to act? Especially amusing is the last jackwipe that got that message on the first hand. If you were seriously interested in playing you would have had plenty of time to think about calling or folding with two more jackwipish (real word) idiots taking time before you.

Recently I have posted how Itty the Kid is obviously stealing time. I was kidding! Everyone knows that's just a silly meth induced rant. You can go ahead and sit out and your time bank is guarnteed by Teasers, Annoying and Bullsnot - a very not real and not real sounding law firm.

So now, the Internet poker confronts me, the outsider. Instead of calling each other up discussing what clothes to wear tomorrow morning they now discuss how to wait for the 14 second warning to make a move. (By the way, I'm wearing my "Chicks Dig Me novelty" underwear tomorrow. I really need to do some laundry.)

Time to test how serious thezse guys and gals are about the table. Tomorrow's wardrobe is more important than some interaction as you can't respond to some simple jokes. Tina has one of the stock avatars PokerStars provides. Looks like lava and fire. So she's hot. Mos has an avatar of a dog. She's a dog.

On a game filled, if that's the right term, with a significant lack of chatter including the basic nh congrats I'm nearly suicidal since my Facebook account has been deleted due to wearing the wrong color shirt every day this week.

Tomorrow I intend to pretend to be too wasted to function so Sora dresses me. Then, when she least expects it I nail her with a quart of Ben and Jerry's forcibaly shoved down her throat.

In the meantime PokerStars can consider the lack of humanity that is ever so pervasive.

Consistency

I wanted to post about incontinence, but alas too many beers have runied my thoft proses and we while take about constituents her.

I ;ick some rooteens in my live. Oner of them is not making up words even though me and my crack team of word makers (me and the dog and some ahole with the last name of Webster that's complained on my Wikipedia entries) suggest I might be on to something.

After months of being cheated on PokerStars with no significant chat I expect and want it to be the same. I've got no reason to express my disgust to artificial intelligence. The flurry of chat activity on PokerStars screams of the criminal trying to make things right and covering their tracks.

Since the tables always take more than an hour for a sane human player to make headway I get to see dozens of rigged hands and fold. Douglas Adams would say, "So long and thanks for all the fish." I should say "So long and thanks for the bullshit." But I'm still interested in how you are going to try to cover up 11 years of bullshit.

Low Quality Play

This doesn't really prove anything except that maybe some "people" just don't care about winning and the size of their chip stack. At this point in the game Mr. all in losing to the vacuum on a bad beat really only had to wait it out until the two sitters were gone to finish in the money. Personally, me and my crack team of being competitive experts (me and the dog) care about the chips, even though after my second place finish I still have a sizable package. (Asian ladies take note.) It was nice to see a "normal" PokerStars table after last night's chat fest.

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A major corporation has a single position to fill. The final three candidates are a mathemetician, an enigineer and an accountant. They are interviewed by the CEO one at a time. The position will be filled by the answer to a single question. The mathemetician is first.

The ceo asks, "What is 2 and 2?" With an air of incredulousness the math guy says, "4." The same question is posed to the engineer. After fiddling with his slide rule for 30 seconds he mumbles some stuff about distributive variances and makes the claim, "Most certainly between 3.9 repeating and 4.0000000000000000001."

Finally, the accountant is asked the same question. He locks the door, pulls down the window blinds and says, "What do you WANT it to be equal to?"

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A major corporation has a single position to fill. The final three candidates are a mathemetician, an enigineer and a rabbi. They are interviewed by the CEO one at a time. The position will be filled by the answer to a single question. The mathemetician is first.

The ceo asks, "What is 2 and 2?" With an air of incredulousness the math guy says, "4." The same question is posed to the engineer. After fiddling with his slide rule for 30 seconds he mumbles some stuff about distributive variances and makes the claim, "Most certainly between 3.9 repeating and 4.0000000000000000001."

Finally, the rabbi is asked the same question. He says, "Oops. Wrong joke."

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A major corporation has a single position to fill. The final three candidates are a mathemetician, an enigineer and an a hot Asian chick. They are interviewed by the CEO one at a time. The position will be filled by the answer to a single question. The mathemetician is first.

The ceo asks, "What is 2 and 2?" With an air of incredulousness the math guy says, "4." The same question is posed to the engineer. After fiddling with his slide rule for 30 seconds he mumbles some stuff about distributive variances and makes the claim, "Most certainly between 3.9 repeating and 4.0000000000000000001."

Finally, the Asian chick is asked the same question. She locks the door, licks the doorknob and is given a 2 million dollar signing bonus and a salary of $500,000 a year.

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A major corporation has a single position to fill. The final three candidates are a mathemetician, an enigineer and Itty the Kid. They are interviewed by the CEO one at a time. The position will be filled by the answer to a single question. The mathemetician is first.

The ceo asks, "What is 2 and 2?" With an air of incredulousness the math guy says, "4." The same question is posed to the engineer. After fiddling with his slide rule for 30 seconds he mumbles some stuff about distributive variances and makes the claim, "Most certainly between 3.9 repeating and 4.0000000000000000001."

Finally, Itty is asked the same question. He tells the CEO, give me the job, or I will fuck up your time clocks so bad your head will spin."

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A major corporation has a single position to fill. The final three candidates are a mathemetician, an enigineer and an Internet poker admin. They are interviewed by the CEO one at a time. The position will be filled by the answer to a single question. The mathemetician is first.

The ceo asks, "What is 2 and 2?" With an air of incredulousness the math guy says, "4." The same question is posed to the engineer. After fiddling with his slide rule for 30 seconds he mumbles some stuff about distributive variances and makes the claim, "Most certainly between 3.9 repeating and 4.0000000000000000001."

Finally, the Internet admin is asked the same question. He locks the door, pulls down the window blinds and says, "What's it worth to you to have your hole cards, the Turn and the River all be 2s?"

OK, I'll bite

I'm just a little fishy nibbling at the hook. Or masybe I'm a hugr shark. Or masybe somwhere between like a catfish ready for the dinner plate. let's go with the catfish, because me and my crack team of fish named after mammals (me and the dog) are a bit suspicious.

As expected totally killed this weekend. The high buy in games didn't have any real quality of play compared to a 2k buy in. First place on a 25k buy in. Second place on 50k. 200k chips.

When greeted by the friendly message that an upgrade was ready I first fell off my chair laughing, got up, drank a beer, fell off my chair laughing, drank another beer, petted the dog, drank another beer sent a chain email to people I don't know, fell of my chair laughing and drank another beer.

I haven'tg seen this in months. A Yobbo style ganme where someone mentions my screen name.

Now, if you;'re c2ourting me expecting that expecting that I'll break out the checkbook it ain't gonna happen. One semi-reasonable table doth not counter 11 years of bullshit.

Time For a Little Background Info on Me

I didn't top 100 pounds until my sophomore year of college. During high school I was your typical less than 98 pound weakling. With hormones raging I wanted some kind of contact with members of the female gender. Much to my joy I discovered that being funny got me attention. Not the warm and fuzzy skin on skin action with a hot Asian chick I really thought I wanted, but it was SOMETHING. Now, decades later I can't help myself by cracking a joke. And I'm really pretty good at doing it very spontaneously. For example, with no electricity at work yesterday I told my boss that I felt sorry for him because it must be hard to be an effective boss when you have no power. The clan of co-workers let out a collective groan, which for the punster is the ultimate compliment.

Having participated on so many tables that were obviously purely artificial intelligence I developed my beloved "My Bike is Red" scenario. When you get to the part when you post the chat that says, "My bike tells me to kill my parents and worship Satan" there deserves to be a response. Whether it's "What an ass!", "Get a new bike" or "Shut up" it's something that earns a response. "Reese Witherspoon is dead" is also good for the same purpose. The joke is, "Did you hear about the actress that was stabbed?" They say "No." You stumble for the exact details and say..."Legally Blonde...um...Reese...um" and when they say "Witherspoon" you hit them with the punchline of "No, Withherknife."

Puns based on my opponents names come naturally. Your name is RANCH RANGER, and you have a German Shepherd in your avatar. I doubt many pooches are named Rover anymore, but it's well known that Rover is a dog's name. Maybe not the highest quality pun, but my post that the dog was a Range Rover deserved some kind of response. Perfsonally, I thought it was really clever.

However, as this was the only chat posted on a two table game that went on for more than an hour it made me realize I could switch to my 'let the AI beat each other to death mode since no active rigger is paying attention.' A few well timed all-ins that should not have been called, Ranger sitting out for the second half and I finish second.

Now I'm over 100k again, which is a personal barometer to log into 25k buy ins that show that the quality of play is no better than a 2k buy in.

Darrah, thank you for rejecting me back in eigth grade. This has been a lot more fun.

Holy Registration Batman!

Before checking on Freckie I popped in PokerStars for hopefully one quick sitter. And I was greated by an interesting registration screen and hundreds of thousands of players reaction to it.

That registration screen is sorted by State. Alabama on top and Wyoming on the bottom. The State column also includes several little known Pacific Island Commonwealths that are US property, Registering, Running, Full and Completed. Now, Completed is about to be abandoned as all the time bank mines were depleted years ago. Partially by overmining before newly planted time trees (which thrive in the dark moist mine atmosphere) but mostly because of Itty and the Gang. For now it's still there.

Basically, there's nothing running. I registered for a 7-2 single draw low game and quicker than registering for Scientology courses and auditing my entry fee was gone with no benefit in return. Based on the way the new tables were filled instantly, even muti-table games, these people who are obviously not computer programs are jonesing so bad for a game they just keep registering and registering without realizing that they are just spinning the slot machine wheels and getting no traction. This has been going on for a while.

What should happen is when you're on the play money sit and go tab you should receive a friendly message that they are down, apologize for the inconvenience and offer to comp your free money room.

But PokerStars and their crack team of IT experts (them and K-9 from Doctor Who) haven't figured out how yet.

I checked my cashier screen before registering. If my registration fee is returned then Batman will not have to respond to the Title in this fashion - "The pernicious poker peddlers are robbin' you Robin, old chum."