With Apologies to Weird Al and Lady Gaga

http://www.zimbio.com/Weird+Al+Yankovic/articles/z4Id9QUdD-Q/Weird+Al+Perform+Way+Lyrics+Video

My programer said when I was made
Win some money for me
Login into eight tables at one time
And you will go on a spree

My presence is hard to miss
My chip stack is really big
I bet nobody expected this
Sit back watch while I rig

I'm sure my critics will say that it's not fair play
They can bite me baby I was programmed this way
I'm not gonna say you'll lose your chips today
It doesn't mean I'm bogus I'm programmed this way

I'll play some stud
I'll play Hi-Lo
I'll play in every sit and go
You're crappy cards
Are not bizarre
Check out my awesome avatar
I'll take your chips every day
Because baby I'm programmed this way-hey

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Any objections and this post will be deleted.
(By Al or Gaga, not internet poker.)