Internet Poker Bots Demographics

We here at The Big Lay Down do
not take our night shift jobs lightly.

At great personal expense me and my crack team of demographic experts (me, the dog, and seven people that thought I said "Democrats" have spent countless hours consuming Mountain Dew and trawling and Googling like crazy to make a much needed study on exactly what the make up of the typical bot on internet poker is all about.

After hiring the services of the company Justabot (located at the fake but very real sounding address :

justabotwishiwasrealbuttheniwouldhavetoworryaboutmyschnozzgrowingbecauseoflyingandmyjepetoisahoplessdrunkmaybeaserialarsonistwhohatessquirrells.com

We eventually rallied in my shed, kicked out the Democrats from the House (notice the clever capatilazition?) and added my Commodore 64 to the crack team.

After playing Tetris for 4 hours straight we developed a program to explore Internet Poker Sites and gather major amounts of demographic data on exactly what the Internet Poker Bot is all about. After running the program for three weeks straight we have the answers! Two of them!

42 and blue screen of death.

After hacking into Internet Chess Club's database and changing the pretending to be human program into the new demographic search program, we finally got some real results.

Race: Oh yeah, as much as I can. The waiting list will support my supidity.
Sub-Race: Microchip. A colony on Micronesia that has flourished.
Gender: Hemaphrodite

Tendencies:
As exemplified on this race table - three avatars of children, bots like to raise:

AI children
Every single poker hand
Baby carrots

Bots likes to fold:
Not laundry
Not maps
Not any poker hands

Bots like to do their financial transactions at:

The Time Bank. Despite withdrawals being 653,427 times more than deposits this venerated bank is still in business.


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OK, let;s see, hmmm the rest of this crap is useless. A lot of nonsense about rigging, math, statistics, trying to look like a real person and admins.

Now I know why the Commodore 64 is dead. AI suicide.