Hot Asian chicks are RIGGED!

When I first started playing on Ful Tilt my fave game was a two table sitter. It kept me distracted for 45 minutes to an hour - the perfect balance between poker entertainment and having to take care of the other member of my crack team (the dog.)

Already having played more than a hundred thousand hands, being logical and observant, I took to buying the occasional pad of paper and marking down my cards. In contrast to what PokerStars precious hand histories would say I was generally given crap, unless my being there was too annoying and a Nestle Crunch was coming up. (Extreme bad beat.)

Since the advent of this blog, the pad of paper has turned to marking down what pics of hot Asian chicks I've downloaded. On July 29th I stocked up on 72 pics. I'm pretty careful about marking down which ones I've used. And yet I see that two consecutive posts have the same pic.

Bullshit!

The only explanation for this is that hot Asian chicks must be rigged.

(Beatles - sort of)

Now that I'm older
Graying my hair
This is then and now.

I' will never get a Valentine
Birthday greating
A bad beat whine.

When I've got a good hand
Will you let it stand
Or will you lock the door?

Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I draw a four?

Bad beaters of the world and Asian model sites UNITE!

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Now as for talk about actual poker I offer this in my investigation the past few weeks:

Whenever mu chip stack gets low I magically start catching great cards. Once I get over 10k or so, even if I buy in to a low level table, the bullshit comes back with spades (pun intended.) The thoughts of me getting back to my max I had on PokerStars of 1.4 million chips are long gone. Let's suffice to say that they are "on to me" and the free trial courting a talent to lose money on the real tables period is ancient history. As a sidebar to my investigation I've trained PokerStars that chatting at the table I'm at is pretty much a waste of time.

I trust I've proven that I don't care that you have taken me from over a million down to rebuying in at the freebie 1k without worrying. What can you possibly do to prove I'm playing against real people. My crack team and I have calculated a number. It's between zero and zero, zero inclusive.