I don't even remember if this is the same douchebag as before, but this weekend had the same pre-game dialogue. Taunt the "scumbags" at the table and give them a very friendly and professional wish that they lose.

This is an old tactic about as effective against me as the hot slutty chick scenario. The idea is that your supposed to be thrown off your normal game because you want to "school him" and take him down a notch. For me, it just sets off my Dragonfly Sense and I get to being more conservative than I ordinarily do. That's because me and my crack team of hating to be taunted by bullies (me, the dog and the cute gal at China Wok that gives me pork lo mein for lunch) recognize that it's just overcompensating for a pre-programmed artificial intelligence tiny penis.

My super powers are equal to the Dragonfly, and in addition to waiting out the juvenile and generally not funny so called comedy of the Superhero movie just to see the Tom Cruise Scientology video parody for the 7th time, I have no problem folding a gargantuan number of hands and settling for second place. Because it's obvious the cards aren't random and the chip leader gets cards out the wazoo. Probably because his wazoo was penetrated by an overcompensated artificial intelligence penis and he's lucky that the rectal bleeding didn't killhim before the overly drawn out, playing to make me lose that didn't work game reached my second place conclusion.

Me and my crack team of TV sequels (me and the dog) have come up with a new money making scheme. Angela Lansbury as a Scientologist. It's called "Do Not Murder She Wrote." All the royalties will be invested in the all important internet poker play money chipmutual fund and invested in Dubai stock.

Oh yeah, I've got a sweet golden ticket. The only expense I'm going to have to worry about is keeping this Asian hottie happy.