Jack

I got enough of a poker fix this weekend that I would actually have been happy enough to get eliminated after 15 minutes, settle down and watch Monday Night Football and play with the dog. But subconsciously(?) I picked a fixed limit sit and go because that's what I did all weekend.

Jack started off the night all proud that he was the first to post a "gl" in the chat and professed his love for limit stud high low. Since the unreasonable games of this weekend still netted me positive chip flow of 200k free money chips that will pay my free money mortgage I paid more attention than I otherwise would.

The secret to fixed limit games on PS is that if you are patient enough eventually the AI will just beat itself to death. Jack was the only Raisanette on a table full of Goobers. And Jack raised virtually EVERY single hand. The confidence of knowing that one is getting statistically unreasonable great cards.

Jack had the audacity to whine about my folding. Um...last I checked there's no rule against it. And my taking second proved that it has some value. It's simply a matter of not being in normal human nature to do so.

So, Jack, 'splain something to me:Is there like a dinner you need to get to that I'm not losing fast enough? Is there an Asian hottie waiting for you upstairs. "Jack, oh Jack...come to me....turn off the computer. We have enough free money chips to pay the free money rent and free money utilities. I will ravish you!"

And, so you complained about me instead of the idiot that logged in to the sit and go and sat out the entire game.

Because this was obvious BS, me and my crack team of nicknaming experts have tried to figure out what to call him.

Other than me he wiped up the board pretty quick in true Raisanette style. So Jackwipe comes to mind. He pulled a lot of cards out of his ass on the last two, so Jackass comes to mind. He hammered the competition early on, so perhaps Jackhammer is right. One we did discard- he didn't trade chips like so often happens here, so we won't use Jack of All Trades. Maybe he was a little off his game tonight and needed to vent some frustration. Jack off?

Jack in the box? Nah....we can't make that work. Did he score the Asian hottie? Union Jack? And what about Phil and Diane's baby on the soaps? Will Maria wake up from the coma and what's going to happen to the God damn ice cream?? We may never know.

(P.S. based on his IP address he's apparently from- Jackarta.)