There's more to internet poker than just the cards that is just too weird to be believed. As the years have dragged on the significant chat among friends and random plyers hooking up for a fun free money game has dwindled into a scary, "My God I hate these peeps so much!" ghost town with an occassional ridiculous pithy comments abound on the level of "My bike is red."

So let's pretend for a moment. Let's pretend that you are all excited about your first free money internet poker table ever and you are sitting down at your pc and registering for the first time. What, exactly, do you name yourelf?

BobM is already taken. Bob, being a fireman tries to register as "fireman" and that's taken. Bob, being a birdwatcher tries to reg as "birdwatcher" AND THAT'S TAKEN, TOO! Now, I'm getting really frustrated. Let me pick a name that NOBODY could possibly take. PUSTULE. Sorry Bob, at least four sites have already picked that gem. Please see prior post - Pus and synonyms are taken.

Finally, Bob ( a pseudonym since he doesn't want his real identity exposed) sits down with his crack team of naming experts (Bob and the goldfish) and decides that since he's from Canada he will name himself

English-240

Even though Canada-240 is available and he's from Canada, Bob has made a life long commitment to this screen name. Jarah suggested that Bobthefish would have been great because of the obvious raise on a loser incompetence. She also suggested that maybe he should get out of his parent's basement in Canada and move to England so that the handle made a tad bit more of sense. And then, being part of my crack team of moving experts (me, the dog and Jarah) she rightfully pointed out the van ride across the pond would lead to some nasty drowning stuff.

Then a revelation. Bob (not his real name) was originally from Leeds and moved to Canada after picking his Full Tilt name. This is as stastically reasonble as the multitude of bogus hands posted here.

Sorry Bob. Me and Jarah's lawyers apologize.