At least you didn't flaunt it. And I'm sure the lame excuse will be that there was some connectivity problems. But after this past weekend my sense of danger was raised to DEFCON 5. And I did manage to take a second place in a game that dragged out to an hour and a half. While during the weekend with the constant raises half that time was the norm.
So let us bactrack to the weekend for a second. Company holiday for good Friday. I took off on Thursday at 10:am to do my housework so I could settle into some bogus poker. My very reasonable chip stack met up against a lot of 7-2 low draw tables where it was obvious it was set on "impossible for real human to win" mode. And I'll be arrogant enough to suggest that no one but me really plays this game much and this was purposeful to make my life misearable.
I'm very stuborn and competitive. So since I dropped all 100k plus chips and had to start over again with the starter 1k several times I had a lot of time to identify what was wrong with the tables. Dozens of them.
Almost every single one followed the same pattern.
1) Some clueless moron has decided to sit at his first 5 card draw lowball table ever and plays it like the high hand is the winner. Calling (not bluffing) with nonsense like 3 sixes.
2) The winner of that all in hand starts betting like it's the first time he's ever had the chip lead and there's a pre-draw raise every hand. but, this chump is not the eventual winner. This chump is betting into the "expert" which is the vaccuum that the real human is supposed to be stupid enough to call into. The other three including the real human positions continue to call and blow their chips. Except I'm the X-factor that doesn't buy into the bullshit and waits twenty hands before finally some non-preprogranned not crappy cards pop up.
3) If real human is lucky enough he can take second place.
Me and my crack team of sleep deprivation experts (me and the dog) got to see this over and over and over and over and over. And, did I mention "over?" It just screamed out "I'M AI HEAR ME ROAR. I'M TOO HARD TOO IGNORE!" And Helen Reddy called Jarah and after a massive cry fest, they snuggled on the couch eating Ben and Jerry's and wept for me. Which is fine by me because I'm not sexually iterested in either of them. Freckledmom.......how boy HOWDY! That's a different story!
After my uncharectirstic period of lack of patience on the weekend I have built myself back up to 35k, but even tonight's drawn out yawn fest was just a little bit bogus.
To protect the innocent I won't use any real names because that would be crass, and my crack team of over-sensitive people (me and the dog) don't want to talk about it. So let's just call him Jerry because that's the screen name. Now, Jerry (not his real screen name,er...never mind) is going to end up being the first player to take action when the cards are all dealt. I'm going to be dealt the last card. Within a fraction of a second. Even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a second when my last card is dealt Jerry (not his real screen, er... never mind) has his raise out on the table. Wow.
You should know me by now. Chips are secondary to bullshit. I'm very patient and observant.
Me and my crack team of Dr, Who time travel experts (me and the dog) hate this exploitation of time. It just reeks of rigged. If I could rig time I'd have a 9 month old puppy instead of this whiny ass constantly reminding me I'm wasting my time on this.
Epilogue:
The photographer in this photo lost 150k on all-in no limit race tables. He's currently laid up in a hospital. Me and my crack team of health workers (me and the dog) have been sending him flower baskets, but unfortunately they appear to do little to improve his condition.
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