The nightly 5 card draw game on PokerStars.

This has time and again proven to be a huge waste of time. And it's very hard for me to imagine a real human getting excited about it and wanting to be involved. It's a multi-table game that usually generates about 1100 to 1200 participants. The buy in is low. 500 chips. So if you're working for a big score the payoff for the top ten is decent.

The payoff for the rest is crap.

Now, if I didn't have my Asian Hottie cheering section I would have given up when I was massively shortstacked with 500 players left in the game. The cheering section and pride made me tough it out.

Never in my life have I worked so hard for a net gain of 376 chips playing two and 1/2 hours. Especially considering that the first hour my cards were obviously not random - they sucked. (Check your precious hand histories. I didn't have a drought for 10 minutes - I had a drought of an hour where there wasn't anything a sane poker player would get all warm and fuzzy about.)

Naturally once I built myself up to 30k and was in the money my full house lost to a better full house. Which generated "someone" else finally posting some chat after 2+ hours of play. "nh"

Yes, it was. And it was probably only mentioned because it screwed me over from dreams of finishing much higher than the 130th I did.

It doesn't matter. My bevy of Asian girlfriends say "nh" to me all the time. It's their cute way of asking, "Need haqndjob?" No, not yet. I'm playing poker. If you can call this nonsense poker.

The typical multi=table game starts off with at least one position sitting out and at least one position taking a huge amount of time and me getting bullshit cards. There was someone with 7,970 chips (starting with 2,000) before the first hand at my table was finished, With as many of these that I've played I should have been presented with a killer on the first hand that I go all in and a couple of morons buy into it. But it just doesn't happen.

The programmers really need to hire a mathmetician or statisticain to fix some of the bugs. I've heard that Asians are good with math. I can send you one of my girls. When their not "nh"ing me.