After weeks/months of no real human contact I decided to take a break from actively playing for chips. The PokerStars freerolls are a perfect distraction. There's no pressure. There's no way a real human can finish in the top 40 of a 5,000+ player game. Especially me. I'll be asleep loooooong before the outcome of this is over.

Now, let's look at the chat that was posted at my first table. And take my word for it, this is the second message about someone posting about "ti-counn". The "English only nazis did not make an appearance. This could be a message of encouragement. TI- might mean take it.

Let's examine the possibilities:

1) Drugs. Fire up that crack before starting the game.
2) My bike is red. And if so, the most bizarre variation I've ever seen that me and my crack team of hat tippers (me and the dog) will have to give massive kudos to.
3) Encouragement from a friend.

Wait a second! If you are friends on a 5,000+ player multi-table game, how the fuck did you get seated at the same table? The odds are astronomical if random seats are assigned.
4) Ninjas. They are cool and stealthy. When not physically attacking they may just be out there playing mindgames in their push for world domination. I, unfortunately, have brought myself onto their radar screen by too many pictures of Asian hotties. Hey, it could happen.
5) Admins - they can sit at whatever table they want. And yes, dear Virginia, they do exist. Over the 10+ years I've been playing I've seen way too many rule breaks to believe that the software is so ill conceived that it can't handle the most basic function. For example, this tournament should have been fully seated almost immediately after it was two minutes before the first hand. If there's one task a computer can do quickly, this should be it. Yet, the clock wound down to 1 minute before my rigged seat was available.
6) Leprechauns. The eternal enemy of the ninja. I hate the bastards.
7) Scientologists - The eternal enemy of the psychiatrist. I hate these bastards.
8) Psychiatrists. - the eternal enemy of Bingo the Wonder Pony. I dislike, but do not hate them. With my medication I've only seen Bingo twice in the past 3 weeks.
9) Bingo the Wonder Pony. A fictional creation that makes about as much sense as random cards on internet poker.

I love you Bingo. And as I cry into my Ben and Jerry's I will ignore the voice of Satan that has been insinuating some very nasty things about kittens.