There are two main cheats in internet poker. One is the active rigging where an active position at the table (usually very chatty and calls you by your screen name) and poorly disguises the fact that they can manipulate the cards and have basically toggled "cheat mode." These are fun for me since I will fold a bazillion hands and miss out on all the bad beats. There must be some competition like in the Dane Cook/Jessica Simpson movie "Employee of the Month." The admin that scores the most flameouts gets a fucking toaster or something.
(Surgeon General's warning - do NOT fuck a toaster - the electrocution harm will far outweigh the orgasmic benefit.)
Since it's just a ton of AI instead of real people, the most common cheat is to present a table with allegedly real people. The algorithm has certain standards on betting, raising and folding. And in order to make sure a real human does not have any success the AI gets great cards and the real human gets toaster bullshit.
Normally I do try and sit at a table where I think I may have a reasonable chance to finish in the money. Occasionally, like tonight, I was all toastered out and decided to log in to a 6k+ player freeroll just to see if they might have tweaked the program. Not even close.
A fixed limit game on PokerStars is always met with multiple players raising every chance they get. Their toasters must be broken, and they are so bored they have nothing better to do than login to their favorite poker site and raise.
My first clue that I was doomed to lose was that I was moved to another table after the first bogus hand. OK, late registration is on, but statiscally out of more than 6,000 - why me? Real human with talent playing! We may have to actually worry about giving a prize! Screw him and his toaster!
Me and my crack team of toaster experts (me and the dog) were not surprised. And that vaccuum cleaner is looking mighty tempting, but it will have to wait until the new episode of Burn Notice is over.
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