Friendly message

Dear PokerStars:

Thank you for your concern. The online community acknowledges this horrible problem of sitting out against your rigged AI, waiting for the cards to turn random. Despite REAL problems in the world like the proliferation of nuclear weapons in Tierra Del Fuego, the Antarctic "Balloon Boy" scandal (very bad frostbite) and the lack of toilet paper in the men's room where I work, millions of people have complained that "players" sit out on your site.

This is the third time they've recycled the friendly message acknowledging their alleged concern about sitters since my return in 2008. Exact same message. And get this, if you click on the 'read more' link you get a 'page can't be displayed' error. Inquiring minds want to know! Me and my crack team of sitting out investigators (me and the dog) want to read again how you intend to do nothing.

Which is fine be me since I read it before. And the PokerStars community doesn't complain about the real issues.

#1 on my list is how you can't swing a dead cat in an Internet poker free money fixed limit game without half the table every single time it's your turn. #2 is how I NEVER sit at a table where someone has an avatar of a hot Asian chick. I mean, come on, what are the odds against that?? #3 is why in a massively populated game (including the complained about sitters) are there 15 players that have at least doubled up every single time before my first hand is finished, usually with some dingleberry timing out.

If you play the free money tables sitting out makes all kinds of sense. I just backed my way into a second place watching idiots calling an obvious Raisanette tonight. Over the long haul playing dozens of hands into a position that is obviously getting ludicrously great cards. I prefer to fold a lot which is essentially sitting out, and at times this to has been challenged. WTF? Is there some kind of Employee of the Month competition where the winner gets 10 million free money chips, a date with Jarah and a new snowmobile? I realize that snowmobile would help a lot tracking the Antarctic balloon, but maybe you live in Nigeria and it's really not going to do you a lot of good.

Keep raising. Keep sitting out. Keep not chatting. I've been doing this for more than nine years. I will find the most unreasonable tables. I will get the screenshots. And you will continue to prove that a lobby of 70,000 "players" is 68,500 bots, 500 admins and 1,000 people trying to enjoy a game of poker.