I'm actually in the top 1000 again - playing anti-poker and not clicking on ads. Tonight's table was deeply disturbing and wrong on all levels. I knew I was in for a world of pain when the only female player posted "Sausage Party!" before the first hand was dealt.
Mistake #1 - I've seen this before. It happened frequently on Absolute. The idea is that you're going to get so caught up with trying to impress the hot, slutty chick that you will call and/or raise when you shouldn't. Which directly leads to mistakes #2 and #3 and #4.
Mistake#2 - Naturally, the hot, slutty chick won the first hand. So that she had plenty of chips to keep alive long enough to flirt with the athletic 200 pound blonde haired blue-eyed guy and exchange emails....which actually didn't work since an * destroyed his correct email address. This was corrected when he gave his MySpace addie later. The real problem with mistake #2 is that over the last few months chat has been limited to the "I'm only AI, I don't chat" kind of stuff. And the hot, slutty chick and her boyfried were caught at least twice at typing replies with world class secretary typing skills - i.e. instant responses.
Mistake #3- Naturally, as is with the current pattern on NLOP the hot slutty, chick leader (love that play on words instead of chip leader) didn't finish in the money. She whined that nobody would talk to her and "went to bed."
Mistake #4 - The pre-programmed hands (which I'm not suppossed to see because I should have lost all my chips long before) ran for 28 hands for me. 26 of them had the winning cards shown. I would have won hand #27, but as can be expected I'm impossibly short stacked at this point. A bad beat (K flop match vs. my ace) on hand 28 ended it. Not a single hand before hand 27 would have won the pot except maybe the 2 no shows that I didn't have very good cards on. I doubt I would have won them. Let me do some math - one hand in 27 has a sniff of a winner. Ten player table...some players get eliminated....oh screw the math, it's bogus. I was constantly fed bad cards and marginal hands that would have ended up losing. Nothing worth calling on much less raising.
Mistake #5 - The taunt.
"WE will wipe you out soon." Why not, "I will kill you all soon?" Or "I will wipe you out soon?" And that message would normally be directed to a player that had beaten you in the previous hand. Hmmm, let me think....
Mistake #6 -I've offended you by the mere fact that I'm still here. The very next hand I had 9-T of clubs small blind and folded instantly (mostly because I was waiting to see if the hot, slutty chick was still sitting out) even though it would have been a three hand game and I would have decent chance. And as I folded into you're big blind you instantly post "LOL." Ridiculous. I din't win a single hand. I certainly didn't ruin your night as far as card play goes.
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