Kudos to UB

Three nights in a row of pretty much real poker. I'm not used to this. First off, I switched from 50-100 limit to 100-200 limit. I can almost forgive the 630 or so player hands several nights ago that were all called pre flop. Hey, it's only play money! Like you so often say. When you park 20k at a play money table and you can lose thousands in one hand things do get a little more conservative.

And I have gone from 20k to over 70k in this short time. The tables still fill in instantly after I sit. But, the winning on your first hand that was so disturbing has disappeared. Mostly. You just have to wit it out.

New player #1 catches 4 aces on the second hand. Plays two more and decides to leave. I happily folded my decent cards pre-flop.

New player #2 shows up breaking the rules without a reservation for the table. He just instantly popped in without the purple "R" button. Swept the first two hands and lingered around calling and raising a lot and finally left after losing a little.

One hand had players instantly calling when a real human would have taken a couple of seconds to click on the command.

One rigged hand had the table chat pop up far faster than humans could type.

And for the past two weeks I've noticed the purple "Reserved" button flash on for a fraction of a second without a new player showing up.

Maybe the card play is a little more reasonable now, but as far as following your own rules on existing at the table, things are pretty bogus.

Old MacDonald had a farm AI AI O - Lebron James

I didn't quite make it to may 2 hour play time limit. 1 and 3/4 was enough.

Flashback to months ago - every "player" raised every chance they got on Absolute and UB on fixed limit games. All the Lebrons (so Cavalier with thier chips) were willing to call and raise every time. The idiots finally changed the program to bet more sensibly.

Lately I've noticed how the table fills up instantly as I sit...again within seconds as I sit and before the next hand is dealt I encounter a newcomer. Instead of playing more operation Sit and Go I've decided to stick out this table for two hours. It's constantly filled by more Lebrons. And winning far fewer hands than I should have I capture something like 5k before the table is shut down with no new AI reporting in for raising and losing duty. I was there for probably about 90 hands.

And I was the only player that folded a single hand pre-flop during every freaking single one of those 90 hands. I really need to start recording this crap for YouTube. Since the insta-table fill crap was going on I played 90 frigging hands without a single "player" having the smarts(other than me) to fold pre flop.

And of the many hands I folded, I would have won three. One I regret. Two, I was bet out on and I would have caught on the river. The rest were fold as watching AI beat itself to death.

Jeez, I was I was a server with an infinite chip stack that could raise without worry.

And I didn't have to worry about looking like a real person by posting chat......one sentence of three words tonight....yeah right.

Looking for other pissed off peeps

http://www.learn-texas-holdem.com/questions/online-poker-sites-rigged.htm

This guy has seen a lot of the same crap I live with (by choice) on a daily basis. The one thing that I disagree with, and maybe this is an old post. Instead of the player sitting out for 30 hands and finally having his interest "piqued", more often I see the player that raises on every hand until he magically folds when another player has a high pocket pair.

Love you buddy. You are so right. And I'm sure you win money at the real tables. The problem you face is that if it was on the up and up you would win a crapload more playing against real human chumps instead of rigged AI.

Picture a sit and go with 10 places paid out....if you finish 9th instead of 5th you have still been cheated. 4 AI psoitions that a check doesn't really have to get written to because it's not a real person. Bots can't cash checks.

I could win money online, but it's just not worth the effort. It's entertainment enough looking at the constant cheating, and hence, my next post.

Nice cover story, but I don't buy it

The story goes something like this:

Ooops hit the wrong key.

Haha I won while hitting on a 19 and catching an ace.

Ooooww....I'm playing two tables at once. I can't keep track of what's going on.

OK, butthead, let me tell you what's going on.

It's nice to see Operation Sit and Go continuing to work so well. On UB and Full Tilt I continue to sit at a table and watch as most of the time a new player pops up almost instantly. The hands I do stay in on far too often have betting consistent with knowing what the next card is. And being so conservative (and knowing it's rigged and I'm playing against AI) I get the chance to linger around and watch stupid crap.

Glad to say that I did finish third and picked up some chips. But there isn't any really good excuse for hitting on a 19 - hey idiot...even playing two tables...your time wasn't running out on this one.

And a general observation on UB blackjack, which didn't hold true for this sit and go, but I've played tons of them and seen it far too often.

The dealer sucks. It's not a matter of if you win...it's a matter of how much you win. Cool for a game where you are playing vs. other "people", but statistically stupid if you consider placing these same "people" in a brick and mortar casino. The house will win....except on UB elimination BJ. The dealer almost always loses the first hand so the AI that splits the bank or goes the max like my buddy here scores a great start.

The site is totally busted, but here I am stuck like a deer in the headlights fascinated at the lengths they go to make me lose. My stupid free money chips that shouldn't mean a thing. Pride, boredom the AI is just programmed that way...I don't know. But the card definitely not random.

My what a surprise

Om UB....after that last post....it took all the way like 2 seconds for a new "player" to show up at the table after I sat in.

If this happens once or twice a week it's weird. If it happens every friggin time for a month things are definitely a little bogus.

I must be famous

Or else I've figured out something else.

Everyone wants a piece of me. And that's why operation Sit and Go works so well for exposing the fraud.

I log in, choose the crappiest tables to play on ( 3 or 4 opponents is nice) within seconds a new "player" pops up. Within minutes the table is full. And filled with people that just want to raise instead of playing real poker.

The previous weekend on UB was exceptionally memorable. I sit in. The first Omaha high low hand has a four of a kind sweep. Someone new pops up. Lets call him "hanks96" since that's what the screen name was. hanks wins a big sweep with lots of clueless callers meeting his straight flush. And "he" leaves. After one hand.

And then I meet a succession of other new players that all raise on the first hand they play. And magically win. Like 12 out of 12. While I get to fold my crappy cards and wonder who I have to bribe to get a have decent hand...and naturally folding the hands that would have lost when I had some marginal cards.

No doubt in my mind that things are pre-programmed to make me lose. And I have enough chips to do what I did to you this morning. Log in, sit watch as the table fills and bets irrationally, switch tables....repeat. Logout, switch to another site (because they all do the same)- rinse, repeat.

Yep, I love being targeted as a troublemaker that you have to cheat to beat me.

Where will I pop up next?

And what kind of weird crap am I going to see?

Well, chips are a necessary evil. So for starters I did get back over 100,000k

Then....

A little turbo sit and go on Ultimate might be fun. $100 buy in. I stand to play for half an hour to an hour with a max gain of 400 points. Or, I stand to play a low level game that's disturbing on so many levels and get to sit back and laugh.

Problem #1 - mizmaggie won the first four hands. Could happen. Not extreme, but a little weird.

Problem #2 - everyone turtled up and started playing like the mortgage on the house was on the line for a max win of 500 chips minus the 100 buy in. Not too weird... it could happen. But it sure looks like you're playing to make me lose instead of playing to win.

Problem #3 - The registration shows it to be a ten player game...and you have 90 people on the wait list. How's this for a thought - first real human player all day shows up at the tourney. Your AI has been butting heads vs. each other all day long.

Problem#4 -the fonts and my name.

Lots of times I sit at tables where it's obvious my name font is different than the others. I've been trying to figure out exactly what this is all about. Maybe some kind of code that let's the new shift know that there's a troublemaker in the midst.

But I'm "Rtch1" with a capital "R". And I see that you do have other positions with capital letters. And here I am stuck in lower case. I don't think I can change my screen name, even if I wanted to. But I betcha the scum that runs the site can change it.

Sadly, and not surpisingly, I lost to a bad beat on the river and didn't even take third.

Oh please

Hey Absolute....

Love ya.

Even though I haven't messed with you much these past few months.

OK, let's do a little math break. 20,000 max buy in on a high-low table and there's someone that has won a net of 27 players chips.

Ridiculous.

As always with internet poker there are lots of "players" willing to sacrifice their chips for no good reason.

Because their just another piece of crap AI connected to a server that gives them unlimited chips.

Annoying the game admins part 4

You arrogant, insufferable (and highly incompetent) idiot.

The proper way to deal with me is to leave me alone. Let me play some cards for an hour and I'll finally get drunk and bored playing against your AI and leave.

The last three sessions on UB have been very intense. I don't always play the tiny tables even though I prefer them since that's where a lot of the bs shows up. The most recent sessions have been on 1000-2000 fixed limit tables starting with a stack of about 50k...which can disappear pretty quick if your not careful.

And smart poker includes folding a hand every once in a while. And smart UB poker includes folding a lot of hands because (big surprise) it's rigged.

Down to 17,000 chips and not calling and raising and losing on every single hand and joining the tiny tables again I was met with this friendly message. And the friendly impossible chip stack.

More to come...

Again, the statiscally unreal

Let's call this the PALWrestler inciudent since that was the screen name of the "player".

The pregame info -

My stack is far short of the 190k which I had a few weeks ago. And I didn't mind losing them that now I am in the 50k range.

But, even free money chips are a necessary evil. So with a couple of fraudelent obviuously playing vs. AI poker hi-low tables I decided to hit up on UB elimination blackjack.

The thing about htis game is that you have to first off advance to the final table and only then get some points if you finish high enough. To survive you must beat the house, which everyone knows statiscally has an edge. And you must beat the table of "players". And the table of "players" almost universally bets very aggressively.

Change the word players to AI.

And now we have the blackjack version of the poker player that simply can't lose.

PAL bet the max on every single hand on the first table where only three would advance to the final. Magically, he was not punished a single time. Due to my good betting strategy I qualified for the final table where 4 players are paid out and PAL again continues to bet the max on every hand until near the end. And as expected survives and grows into the huge chip leader.

OK - let me think - drunken chip leader having a great night - doesn't lose a single blackjack hand in 25....

or just AI and/or a pre-programmed game. hmmmmm

Must be a drunken player going all in having a great night.

Heavy on the sarcasm.

Again, NLOP has to decide what to do with me

I'm actually in the top 1000 again - playing anti-poker and not clicking on ads. Tonight's table was deeply disturbing and wrong on all levels. I knew I was in for a world of pain when the only female player posted "Sausage Party!" before the first hand was dealt.

Mistake #1 - I've seen this before. It happened frequently on Absolute. The idea is that you're going to get so caught up with trying to impress the hot, slutty chick that you will call and/or raise when you shouldn't. Which directly leads to mistakes #2 and #3 and #4.

Mistake#2 - Naturally, the hot, slutty chick won the first hand. So that she had plenty of chips to keep alive long enough to flirt with the athletic 200 pound blonde haired blue-eyed guy and exchange emails....which actually didn't work since an * destroyed his correct email address. This was corrected when he gave his MySpace addie later. The real problem with mistake #2 is that over the last few months chat has been limited to the "I'm only AI, I don't chat" kind of stuff. And the hot, slutty chick and her boyfried were caught at least twice at typing replies with world class secretary typing skills - i.e. instant responses.

Mistake #3- Naturally, as is with the current pattern on NLOP the hot slutty, chick leader (love that play on words instead of chip leader) didn't finish in the money. She whined that nobody would talk to her and "went to bed."

Mistake #4 - The pre-programmed hands (which I'm not suppossed to see because I should have lost all my chips long before) ran for 28 hands for me. 26 of them had the winning cards shown. I would have won hand #27, but as can be expected I'm impossibly short stacked at this point. A bad beat (K flop match vs. my ace) on hand 28 ended it. Not a single hand before hand 27 would have won the pot except maybe the 2 no shows that I didn't have very good cards on. I doubt I would have won them. Let me do some math - one hand in 27 has a sniff of a winner. Ten player table...some players get eliminated....oh screw the math, it's bogus. I was constantly fed bad cards and marginal hands that would have ended up losing. Nothing worth calling on much less raising.

Mistake #5 - The taunt.

"WE will wipe you out soon." Why not, "I will kill you all soon?" Or "I will wipe you out soon?" And that message would normally be directed to a player that had beaten you in the previous hand. Hmmm, let me think....

Mistake #6 -I've offended you by the mere fact that I'm still here. The very next hand I had 9-T of clubs small blind and folded instantly (mostly because I was waiting to see if the hot, slutty chick was still sitting out) even though it would have been a three hand game and I would have decent chance. And as I folded into you're big blind you instantly post "LOL." Ridiculous. I din't win a single hand. I certainly didn't ruin your night as far as card play goes.

Patterns on NLOP

Many months ago I recognized the pattern on NLOP where there was a certain player that simply could not lose. Much to their annoyance, I combatted it with my beloved fold my way into second place strategy. I took second place 4 times without even CALLING a single hand until it was a two player game.

Now that NLOP has graciously let me take second in the last two nights on 1000 point games, I'm still up for the big weekly game. For several months after the folding my way into second place thing the pattern was that the winner of a string of hands bounced around the table for several hands. Now the (lack of a )pattern is a more normal three different players win three consecutive hands. Just like what would be more common in real poker.

Except that they haven't paid attention to the new pattern. As always...there's almost never such a thing as winning a hand within the first three or four. If you're not willing to play short stacked, don't even bother here. So, as the AI makes sure that there are more players in the money than you, they've developed the newest pattern of what I call the "King Jester" of the table.

KJ starts off as the chip leader after hand one. Usually wins two or three more before the first deal around the table is complete. Now, as King of the table, and totally in control of the game it's time to cacth up some of the feeders into healthy chip stacks so that there are more players in the money than I am. (Because naturally I'm folding my crappy losers. Tonight it was like hand sixteen before I had a sniff of a winner with one folded where the winning hand was mucked - every single other fold was the right choice for sure.)

Now the chip leader goes into Jester mode and calls and raises on virtually every hand, pisses away the stack and finishes out of the money. I can't remember the last time the early chip leader placed in the money on this site.

And tonight I knew I was for in a world of trouble as the insane chat included two players whining about their cards over the last three days. Naturally they broke out of their slump at the table I'm at.

Bouncing around

Operation Sit and Go is on.. (tee hee) Full Tilt.

Ever observant....not too worried about the chip stack other than that the chips are a necessary evil to play.

Fact number 1 - I'm a strong player.
Fact number two- I'm better than your AI.
Fact number three - I have a lot of chips despite the obvious pre-programmed and/or rigged hands. I even nuked my Ultimate stacj for like the fourth time to prove it wasn't for real.

So, chumpy....you can't play for real and there's pre-programmed and rigged AI playing. Guess what I do. Fold. And watch as Operation Sit and Go scores the big winner. Nope....not the chips. On both Fullt Tilt and UltimateCheat.net I get the luxury of sitting at a table and within seconds seeing someone else show up.

And the last nuking of the chip stack on UB had the table full on a 100,000 buy in game. Congratulations cheating loser. The table was full within minutes. And I constantly log in and see that at most there are like two or three suppossed experts playing on high level tables.

The answer - I'm not supposed to even be here. "It's only play money chips."

And you're a server with an infinite chip stack and basically a talentless dork when it comes to poker.

Don't feed

Internet poker is bogus....it's easy to whine about it when you're losing. I like to whine when I'm winning, too.

Perhaps you thought I needed a shot in the arm after losing 30,000 chips on your bogus tables. Three pocket aces in 30 hands to get to the point where I'm still alive at the final table...pocket kings once where I was smart enough not to go all in and the ace on the flop would have killed me. Overall, statiscally unreal great cards. Won the tourney and I'm now back up to 17k+.

Just like the "sweep" hands on limit tables you get to play "let's everyone go all in" bingo on a no limit game. Where statistically unreal everyone has great cards. I was smart enough to fold my ace before the first raise on this bs.

Absolutely ridiculous. All six "players" have great hole cards....nobody with a 24 off suit. Or J7...or T3, or....well you get my point.

Sometimes I wish I could toggle cheat mode and win every hand I want to. But, that would get boring. Unless I could make real money off of it.

Full Tilted

Playing Razz. Yeah, I think a king ten is worth a raise.

Because I'm aserver with an infinite chip stack.

Full Tilt still doesn't get it

"It" is what I'm all about. It's not the chips I win or lose. It's about my constant search to watch you do something stupid to embarrass yourself.

Prelude -

Several days ago on a high stakes table I kept at it and nuked my 30,000+ chips to prove that I was not getting a stitiscally real number of winners. Then, I guess they felt sorry for me....or just weren't paying attention and in no time here I am back to 11,000.

Time to play a game I hate - the huge multi-table tourney. This one was 90 players. And Of course I got to see the reasons I hate multi-table games. The low 250 buy in and the desire to get off to a good start means that you're looking at an all in for the first three hands minimum. And since my cards in the first few hands have never been good I'm always short stacked when the play settles down into almost real poker. That's where the chip leaders bully there way by small raises and can't suffer any damage from the small stacks.

As a grandmaster of forensic game analysis I purposefully didn't play a single hand and watched and see if they would let me make it to the final table and in the money. I finished 11th out of 90. Since I was so close without playing real poker, I booted up a second 90 player game.

And since I'm paying more attention to others instead of my cards and chips I noticed these gems-

Within 4 hands the game was down to 30 players from the original 90. Within 10 hands it was less than 20.

Absolutely no patience whatsoever. Raise, raise, raise I'm all in on 6-4 off suit pre-flop.

Which is indicative of AI instead of real humans.

And at the start of the second table the "player" that won the first pot posted a friendly message, "Dude, just give it up." Not a response to anyone else. And his bad beat flush won against several calls to his all in. The translation, "Dude, I can toggle cheat mode whenever I want. You're not winning any chips on my watch."

Operation Sit and Go is on for Full Tilt.

Internet game fraud in general

You never know where I'll pop up. And I'll do a littlle math and realize things can't possibly be for real. Poker has been the gift that just keeps giving...until lately. Sadly, things have calmed way the heck down on my favorite targets. Things have actually been looking like real poker for a change.

Which doesn't change a thing. I've already exposed you. And tonight on UB I had a little Operation Sit and Go fun where I popped into several tables and watched while in the first six a new player showed up immediately before the next cards were dealt. That's what Operation Sit and Go is all about. Thank you UB for the confirmation. You've tied my login and table sits to auto pre-programmed play.

But this post isn't really about UB and poker. I pop into chess, too. And I'm a hell of a chess player.

Although Internet Chess Club offers some fine features....it's just another bogus site where AI pretends to be for real and getting on track to big rating gains just can't happen.

Chicken and the egg. I'm flagged as an "abuser." Because even though I'm damn near master strength I play (purposefully) vs low rated chumps and watch them get all grandmasterful and beat me. The point is that they say, I'm a cheater. I'm not playing for real. Well, duh, because when I do play for real I get smacked down by AI that can't lose. So when I get smacked down I tend to complain a little. And that makes me an abuser. So I don't get to play agianst real humans. So I play against AI and lose. And I complain. So I'm an abuser for complaining. And I get to continually play against AI rigged to make me lose.

I did have a nice run last week. And that's the purpose of this post. Got up to about 1250 rating.

Now, the bitches have introduced a "mouse slip" cheat into the game. Ahhhwww poor babies....did I wi to many games on time? You betcha. Now you have to screw me over by making me think my mouse has suddendly gone all wonky. My mouse is fine. The site is just.....bogus

Table of the week

And more bogus Ultimatebet, even though I totally kicked ass.

Since I've spent a lot of my free time away from my friends on UltimateCheat.net and I've been focusing on Full Tilt I took my not stupidly small chip stack into a 2,000 buy in sit and go. 18 players. Two tables. As always, there's no such thing as winning in the first couple of hands. Short stacked again....YAAAWWWNNN.

A normal poker game should have lots of hands with players having marginal hands calling No need to bet on that 10-7 off suit pre-flop agtainst a full table.

I HAD 15 CONSECUTIVE HANDS WHERE THE PRE-FLOP BET WAS MORE THAN THE MINIMUM.

And this was a 2,000 buy in game. Not the automatic, "Oh it's only play money, I'm going to tak my free tiny stack and try to glorify it game. Instead it was....don't play to win...make sure if I'm going to call it has to be my full stack and play to make me lose. Since the table was full I folded lots of losers, even if I called.

The opposite side of the coin. At one time I had over 190,000 chips on Ultimatecheat. I nuked them on purpose playing high level games with few players to prove that I get statiscally unreal cards. Dropped to 50,000.

And then in one magical night, here I am over 100,000k again.

Not because of skill. But because the friggin' cards aren't random and I'm an expert at figuring out the bs.

Now, deal with me....I've seen the way that the table I sit in on becomes the most popular game in town. I'm pretty sure it's all AI. Watch as Operation Sit and Go goes into overdrive while I sit at the table, play at the most one hand and move on. Then I get to burn off more preprogrammed play and AI.

Full Tilt sit and go fun

Suspicious, although not outright fradulent.

I've been playing a lot of sit and go's on this site lately. Tonight, by about hand 15 or so there were four players left and the three other than me sat out the rest of the way. I completed the boring "raise every hand" ploy to take first after a very boring half an hour. I can accept the believability on two accounts. First, it was only a 250 play money chip buy in. So, the two short stacks, seeing the 9,000 + chips might have figured it just wasn't worth it. Mr 9,000 chips might have just figured, "I've got better things to do. I'll take second."

I don't buy it on two other points. Why even register if you're not going to play? And you made you're decision on a relatively short number of 15 hands, and you could have fought for a spot in the top three out of the four. Also, this is the first sit and go of the many I've played here were the short stacks didn't hang on as the play seems to be more about making me lose than playing to win.

But, I'll re-buy into the reality theory that they nuked the game and moved on to a more interesting table.

I do have an alternate theory. And after five years of experience at this I have to give it some credit as being possible. Instead of a table of live people playing I'm convinced there's always an admin behind the scenes, running the show. How about if I was the only live human at the table other than the admin? The first eight hands were easy folds. My average card value was about 5 2/3rds instead of a statistically real eight. And it wasn't like low flops were coming up for me to win with a five high straight. And you discovered that unlike the normal person with a decent amount of chips that wouldn't waste their time on a 250 chip buy in table, you got bored or had better things to do than screw with my life.

The jury is still out on this one. For now I'm willing to say it was for real and people blitzed registered into multiple tourneys that the (lucky for me) decided to bail on this one. The real key will be to see if the pattern repeats itself multiple times in the near future.

I'm a monkey nuking the chip stack

OK losers, listen up. You're an admin...I get it. You hate to lose. You get to toggle cheat mode and beat me whenever you want. I'm sorry I insinuated myself on your database and that I had to lose 140,000 chips to prove that it was stastically unreal.

Yes, long ago I graduated from the baby tables by playing careful and avoiding the obvious game admin controlled bad beats. Tonight was all about proving that it's not for real...calling on tales with 4 players on a high lo game and watching the constant losses.

You can get away with your constant "It's only play money" excuse on the 10-20 baby tables. But when I play for 4 hours on the big money free chip tables you had better let me win a hand every once in awhile.

And don't do something stupid like admit you're a table full of admins. The chat beyond this image proved it.