This was supposed to happen on the three day weekend for Labor Day. But I got caught up in Absolute Poker and was having too much fun watching the strange and silly ways they were trying to make the free money tables look for real, when it was obviously populated by AI.
They got a vacation from me this morning. I spent four hours on a brand new for me site. And it was all at the same Omaha high low table. And I saw all of the things I've come to expect from internet poker. And, please make sure to skip to the end for the bold print before you stop reading.
Good poker players are going to go right for the money tables and never play a hand on the free tables. Or maybe play for half an hour on the free tables, or one sit and go to check out what's going on. It's a heck of a lot easier for the admins to make one sit and go look for real. But they really struggle with an open table game where anyone can pop in and play a few hands. I always choose less popular games when I sit in on these tables. On Absolute, I didn't have any choice. There are no Hold'em free tables.
I saw a TV commercial, I think on ESPN. Phil Hellmuth for ultimatebet.net. If it's good enough for Phil, it's bad enough for me. I doubt Phil has ever played a single hand of Omaha High Low on Ultimate's free money tables. Maybe never played a hand at all there - took the sponsorship check to the bank and went to a brick and mortar casino and used the money to play for real. If he played on the Omaha high low table I played on for four hours, he would be laughing his ass off like I did.
Just like Absolute Poker, everyone is very casual about their chips. The rasing was non stop. It's an insult to your manhood to click on the "Check" box. Why is this so? Because I signed up and logged in at 4:00 am EST for my very first session. The people that run the site aren't staffed to police the free money tables at odd hours, so they police the free money tables with bad AI. Bad AI needs to be in the game so tables fill and games get moving instead of people waiting around for half an hour and giving up.
Bad AI needs an edge to stay in the game, so the cards are rigged. And there are postions constantly raising into the rigged good cards that you have to fold, even on good hands, to survive. I have the patience to fold. A lot. I took y $2,000 inital play money stake (in two $1,000 increments) and built it up $12,000 in my four hours. If real people played as badly as these "people" did I'd be at $40,000. (Limit table...no limit I'd be at a million.)
Very amusing....at one time I was playing against "Dreemymimi" and "Rebellinellen." In the weeks to come I expect to see the same kind of bogus player names that I saw on Pokerstars. Pokerstars populated their database with "JennySue", "BobbieJo", "AmyLynn", etc.... I'm sure I'll be playing against "ThrillLil", "ScaryMary", "AbleMable", etc...
From 4:30 till 7:30 the chat was non-existent. Except that within the first twenty hands I played someone caught a Royal flush. (What are the odds of that, especially since I folded a great hand while other "people" were raising into it???) Then there were a couple "nh's". Then silence for hours. But at 7:30 am, including a position that was at the table all along while I was folding like crazy it wook up into a nonstop chat fest that was impossible to follow.
Here's the real kicker. And I've been wanting to do this for a loooonnnnnggg time:
I've signed up for lots of net games. If I sign up as "BILL" for my username I get rejected because that name is already in use. I can understand that someone named BILL is already a member. What they expect is that you throw some number in there. BILL1 might work. My first try was Colts18 - Peyton Manning.
Rejected as expected, just like Ellen is Rebellin' (But is she gellin'?)
Purposefully, my next try included no numbers.
Vanadium. My personal favorite on the periodic table.
"Select another name. This one is already in use." (Or similar message.)
Yeah, right.
As soon as I saw that my bs detector was set on extremely high. It's not like it's "Carbon" or "Oxygen" or "Hydrogen" or "Arsenic" or another commonly known element. It's VANADIUM! And of the thousands of people that visit your database, someone already took it.
Absolute Poker may miss me since this site looks to need a strong dose of crap busting. I'll be busy for a while.
No comments:
Post a Comment