There's this wild conspiracy theory floating around on the Internet that the reason the world didn't end on 5/21 was that Randy "Macho Man" Savage delivered an atomic elbow to a key archangel moments before the Rapture was about to happen. As I am surprisingly not as sacrilegious as you might think, this reeks of bullshit to me.
Randy's real purpose was to hook up with Itty the Kid and mess up any decent poker tables available, i.e. the ones I'd like to play on. Tonight I started with my favorite target PokerStars and they are currently going through another one of those phases where new tables aren't offered and the only games registering are a few non-popular games. Fine by me. Strangely, I didn't want to get cheated for the 6th night in a row. Maybe next week.
So I switch to Absolute. Just for giggles, or maybe Randy's atomic elbow whispering in my unprotected groin I check out the bad beat jackpot. It keeps on clicking away and growing. Strangely, always even multiples of 50 cents. After stressing for 2.18 milliseconds on why the payoff ends in either .37 or .87 I switched to a search of my dear old friend Freckledmom, and for the first time in months I see her playing.
Not surprisingly she starts with a 2,000 on a pot limit Omaha Hi-Lo game and within 4 minutes she's got 15k. Eventually some sense of sanity was restored and the play over the next several minutes she basically broke even - even lost a little.
Bored with this I try to play a game of Elimination Blackjack. Even I am not so bored that I'm going to play a $100 buy in. But the two and three table $1,000 buy in games have no players waiting. This is attributable to Randy's hatred of blackjack, no doubt.
Logging into Full Tilt, the $2,000 Matrix game was taking way too long to fill in. I'm reminded of the story of how Randy, in a steroid induced rage, threw a barbell through his TV because he didn't understand what the point of Matrix 3 was. Trust me. Nobody else does.
So here I am. Time for me and the dog to watch a movie.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Damage Control -
The religious references and refernces to Randy are not meant to demean religion or Randy. They are a probably sorry attempt to use humor to bust on the continued inconsistencies and stupidity of Internet poker.
Growing up I was entertained by Randy, even though I knew wrestling was scripted. Wrestling may have taken money out of people's pockets, but there was still some entertainment value unlike getting cheated at poker.
No comments:
Post a Comment