My current target is Absolute Poker, withi a minor in NLOP. Both are silly. Ever since I started playing on Absolute free tables I've noticed that the "players" tend to call all in constantly. After a glorious two week rush of watching AI beat itself to death on 7 stud high low I switched to Omaha high low with no limit. And the rush is back. I caught you guys on something so simple that the ordinary player wouldn't catch on to.
I'm not supposed to have me free money stack of 350,000 chips. I'm supposed to lose them. Unless I I play bad poker and try to catch the straights and flushes they are training you to try for. I'm not supposed to play almost every hand, especially in a high low game. After hours of conservative folidng on Omaha I won something like six hands for plus 40'000 chips. BORING! But I'm in detective mode, not playing poker for real mode (like that's possible with a net site.)
Now, the masterful detective work. Playing for hours on Omaha there was lots of players calling the crazy all-ins (* - a bit on this in a moment0) I have seen how players that raise like crazy get killed and then refresh their chip stack according to the site rules. And I've seen how the stack is refreshed immediately. Before the menu can come up to refresh. And I've seen raises made before the menu to call, fold or raise comes up. I purposefully bought in to a game with low chips and lost. When I tried to re-buy in I got the error message I couldn't. I'm not allowed to, and hundreds of others are. Yeah, right.
* -and the site has changed. Like night and day. I established the pattern of all in and crazy raises for weeks. Now it's big raise without all in on Omaha. Oooh, did you change you your program for little old me? After so many hours of play time,............yep.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
I really need to leave Absolute Poker, but I'm stuck like a deer in the lights.
7 stud limit hi low has obviously changed. At least for me. I don't know if others experience the constant raising I used to see. It's definitely gone now. Maybe it's just a little respect after my name popped up on the tables so often. I doubt it.
For many weeks I established a pattern of opponent raises regardless of their cards and by using the poker investigator's number one weapon of folding watch them beat each other senseless. I'd sneak in and win alow hand every once in awhile. Now for more than a week all of a sudden people I've never supposedly played with before play a little more conservatively. I break even and waste my time.
So I have now changed my focus to no limit Omaha hi low with spectacular results. As usual the pre-flop raising is ridiculous. My cards are marginal or crappy. And I'm not supposed to be here. The lower level table AI is supposed to make me be bored and when I finally get a good hand call all in. Or plunk my 20,000 chips max for the table in there and call the irrational big bets. Lose and gone - no such thing as a 200,000+ chip stack like I started with.
I probably folded over a hundred Omaha hands tonight. I won two. Since there was so much all in activity I got to count how many hands I folded that would have been a winner. One.
One hundred hands of Omaha Hi lo with a split pot generating about 1.5 winners per hand. I get two. Of course they were big scores since I'm so conservative. But I had to fold an insane number of hands to survive long enough to call those two hands. One was the raiser going all in for low like me where there was no low and me catching two pair. The second was, after another long yawn fest, me catching the nut flush on the flop and going all in and sweating out two tens on the board.
And then the loser posted, "Hey, it's just fun money chips." (Or something similar)
My gosh, isn't that a convenient excuse for constantly raising. And if you are going to constantly raise how the hell did you get the chip stack you have? Ummm....because you're AI on the server.
Needless to say the chat was for the most part non-existent.
On two winners I while folding 90% of the hands I increased my chip stack from 200,000 to 300,000 plus.
For many weeks I established a pattern of opponent raises regardless of their cards and by using the poker investigator's number one weapon of folding watch them beat each other senseless. I'd sneak in and win alow hand every once in awhile. Now for more than a week all of a sudden people I've never supposedly played with before play a little more conservatively. I break even and waste my time.
So I have now changed my focus to no limit Omaha hi low with spectacular results. As usual the pre-flop raising is ridiculous. My cards are marginal or crappy. And I'm not supposed to be here. The lower level table AI is supposed to make me be bored and when I finally get a good hand call all in. Or plunk my 20,000 chips max for the table in there and call the irrational big bets. Lose and gone - no such thing as a 200,000+ chip stack like I started with.
I probably folded over a hundred Omaha hands tonight. I won two. Since there was so much all in activity I got to count how many hands I folded that would have been a winner. One.
One hundred hands of Omaha Hi lo with a split pot generating about 1.5 winners per hand. I get two. Of course they were big scores since I'm so conservative. But I had to fold an insane number of hands to survive long enough to call those two hands. One was the raiser going all in for low like me where there was no low and me catching two pair. The second was, after another long yawn fest, me catching the nut flush on the flop and going all in and sweating out two tens on the board.
And then the loser posted, "Hey, it's just fun money chips." (Or something similar)
My gosh, isn't that a convenient excuse for constantly raising. And if you are going to constantly raise how the hell did you get the chip stack you have? Ummm....because you're AI on the server.
Needless to say the chat was for the most part non-existent.
On two winners I while folding 90% of the hands I increased my chip stack from 200,000 to 300,000 plus.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Still nvestigating Absolute Poker
Another marathon 7 stud hi low session under my belt. And things weren't too bad. In fact, I was quite disappointed I didn't have anything to complain about. The speed of play was a little too fast to be realistic, and there were too many hands made on the last card by people that bet early. But not so extreme that it was obvious. I broke even and when the table came down to just two I won one last hand and skipped town.
As a detective instead of a serious poker player I began to think about where to go next. Usually when I bail from the 7 stud hi lo tables I go to Omaha hi lo with a $20,000 chip max. Just for giggles I went to a smaller game with a $2,000 chip max to bring in. Won about $5,000 play money in about half a dozen hands. Can't complain about that, either. Dang.
But I am vindicated and have something to complain about. There was someone at the table with $220,000 plus chips when I came on board. Now that's just plain stupid for a $2,000 buy in game. Playing hi lo with split pots like I do so much and knowing you can't win them all - and breaking even tonight playing for more than an hour - it's just impossible to accumulate that many chips on that table. Divide 220,000 by 2,000 and calculate the number of players that you have beaten. It sure looks like someone doesn't have to sleep. Or can break the rules.
My BS detector was on full as soon as I saw this. And despite that I still called several silly all in bets and came out a winner. The message for the casual player - don't play when you see this. Do a little math and think about what you're getting up against. A server with an infinite chip stck that can break the rules and has nothing to lose. And if they can do it on the free money tables, why can't they do it on the real money tables.
I saw the same impossible chip stack several times on my Pokerstars playing days.
As a detective instead of a serious poker player I began to think about where to go next. Usually when I bail from the 7 stud hi lo tables I go to Omaha hi lo with a $20,000 chip max. Just for giggles I went to a smaller game with a $2,000 chip max to bring in. Won about $5,000 play money in about half a dozen hands. Can't complain about that, either. Dang.
But I am vindicated and have something to complain about. There was someone at the table with $220,000 plus chips when I came on board. Now that's just plain stupid for a $2,000 buy in game. Playing hi lo with split pots like I do so much and knowing you can't win them all - and breaking even tonight playing for more than an hour - it's just impossible to accumulate that many chips on that table. Divide 220,000 by 2,000 and calculate the number of players that you have beaten. It sure looks like someone doesn't have to sleep. Or can break the rules.
My BS detector was on full as soon as I saw this. And despite that I still called several silly all in bets and came out a winner. The message for the casual player - don't play when you see this. Do a little math and think about what you're getting up against. A server with an infinite chip stck that can break the rules and has nothing to lose. And if they can do it on the free money tables, why can't they do it on the real money tables.
I saw the same impossible chip stack several times on my Pokerstars playing days.
Absolute Poker - Housepainter
I'm mentally fighting with thoughts on whether the bs on this site is human collusion or rigged AI. I think I've logged in enough hours for the second one.
Just a teemy tiny thing came up. After another marathon "Nobody plays 7 stud high low" session.
As usual, when in investigating mode I logged in at a weird 4:45 in the morning. Slammed a little diet Sunkist for a jolt, smoked way too many cigs and went to Omaha high low to avenge my bad night previously. As expected since I was fresh and not up on the radar I scored $60,000 on one hand after folding many.
Money in the bank, time to turn to playing for fun. I really like limit 7 stud high low. I think it's the perfect weapon for me. Since I'm smart enough to have massed 180,000 chips I can play virtually forever on any 7 stud high low table and fold like crazy until I get a killer.
Housepainter shows up. I played against this same person last night. Just like me he has no real life and only lives to play online poker free money tables. He complains about the slow play with the typical "zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" message. Twice. The next hand I time out intentionally. No "zzzzzzzzzzzz." After posting "wtf?" he was gone. Ok, let me think about this -
You don't sleep. You have nothing better to do with your life than complain. And when what you are complaining about comes up you don't complain. YFR.
Just a teemy tiny thing came up. After another marathon "Nobody plays 7 stud high low" session.
As usual, when in investigating mode I logged in at a weird 4:45 in the morning. Slammed a little diet Sunkist for a jolt, smoked way too many cigs and went to Omaha high low to avenge my bad night previously. As expected since I was fresh and not up on the radar I scored $60,000 on one hand after folding many.
Money in the bank, time to turn to playing for fun. I really like limit 7 stud high low. I think it's the perfect weapon for me. Since I'm smart enough to have massed 180,000 chips I can play virtually forever on any 7 stud high low table and fold like crazy until I get a killer.
Housepainter shows up. I played against this same person last night. Just like me he has no real life and only lives to play online poker free money tables. He complains about the slow play with the typical "zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" message. Twice. The next hand I time out intentionally. No "zzzzzzzzzzzz." After posting "wtf?" he was gone. Ok, let me think about this -
You don't sleep. You have nothing better to do with your life than complain. And when what you are complaining about comes up you don't complain. YFR.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Absolute Poker looks like it's changed the AI !!
My focus has been playing here for an average of 2.5 hours a day for the past few weeks. The spped of play has been completely unreasonable. Players making bets before the command options could have possibly come up, and throwing in the time to chat along side of that.
The early report is that there are several things wrong with the "new" Absolute.
I got a message as I logged in that there was a new version of the software available. In the old days on Pokerstars this translated to "I have new player names." The most memorable of those was a time when all off a sudden the' competition' had player names in all caps. Very obvious. I figured on the same here.
For the first 6-8 hands I had the usual player to my right raisning me on crap. The explanation for this would be that he doesn't care since his 90,000 chips is worth seeing every hand on a 100-200 limit 7 card stud game. But there's a new plyer in town. The player that calls every bet that can't obviously lose, even though the other player's hole cards would have to be completely imperfect. The raiser turned into call anything and not worrying about probability. He lost 15,000 chips and just finally sat out.
There's some leeway for having a bad night, but if you don;t fold a hand every once in a while (saw three or four) and you play that way all the time, how do you possibly amass a 90,000 stack in the first place?
Next - the speed of play has become almost completely normal. Overnight. After the program being updated. Hmmm, curious that dozens of people I've played with tonight play real poker after three weeks of silly poker. And last night I changed from 7 stud hi-lo to no limit Omaha hi-lo for on a 20,000 chip max table. I played for 20 minutes, folded every hand and watched the lightning speed bet, raise, raise, raise let God sort them out mentality that this site has proven. Mental note: Must play on an Omaha table tonight to see if that has changed, too.
Next - virtually no chat. I've seen that before lots of times. This time a 2000 short stacked suicide player pops up and immediately offers hello to two players like they are old buddies. The first is someone sitting out. Somewhat believable hoping they'll be back to say hi when the receiver gets off the can. The second was my buddy the raiser turned caller/feeder. Not a peep from "him".
My goals for tonight are to play as long as my suiciding friend is at the table ver conservatively and see how much he's willing to lose. Then play Omaha hi lo. Over the next week the first thing I will do is search his player name and see if he plays the same way as tonight. Being a gambler my guess is that if I catch him online his poker personailty will be all over the place inconsistent.
The early report is that there are several things wrong with the "new" Absolute.
I got a message as I logged in that there was a new version of the software available. In the old days on Pokerstars this translated to "I have new player names." The most memorable of those was a time when all off a sudden the' competition' had player names in all caps. Very obvious. I figured on the same here.
For the first 6-8 hands I had the usual player to my right raisning me on crap. The explanation for this would be that he doesn't care since his 90,000 chips is worth seeing every hand on a 100-200 limit 7 card stud game. But there's a new plyer in town. The player that calls every bet that can't obviously lose, even though the other player's hole cards would have to be completely imperfect. The raiser turned into call anything and not worrying about probability. He lost 15,000 chips and just finally sat out.
There's some leeway for having a bad night, but if you don;t fold a hand every once in a while (saw three or four) and you play that way all the time, how do you possibly amass a 90,000 stack in the first place?
Next - the speed of play has become almost completely normal. Overnight. After the program being updated. Hmmm, curious that dozens of people I've played with tonight play real poker after three weeks of silly poker. And last night I changed from 7 stud hi-lo to no limit Omaha hi-lo for on a 20,000 chip max table. I played for 20 minutes, folded every hand and watched the lightning speed bet, raise, raise, raise let God sort them out mentality that this site has proven. Mental note: Must play on an Omaha table tonight to see if that has changed, too.
Next - virtually no chat. I've seen that before lots of times. This time a 2000 short stacked suicide player pops up and immediately offers hello to two players like they are old buddies. The first is someone sitting out. Somewhat believable hoping they'll be back to say hi when the receiver gets off the can. The second was my buddy the raiser turned caller/feeder. Not a peep from "him".
My goals for tonight are to play as long as my suiciding friend is at the table ver conservatively and see how much he's willing to lose. Then play Omaha hi lo. Over the next week the first thing I will do is search his player name and see if he plays the same way as tonight. Being a gambler my guess is that if I catch him online his poker personailty will be all over the place inconsistent.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Online poker fraud busting
I smiled all night. Two and a half hours of watching AI getting into pissing matches that I sat out of. To find out if online poker is for real you need to only spend 15 minutes on a 7 stud limit game and watch the fairly obvious AI raise, re-raise call all in.
This morning I took my $120,000+ "hell or high water" call everything. That's what they do on Absolute Poker. Of course I lost big time. Then when I bring my A game to the table and fold when I shouldn't as I watch the AI raise incessantly the stack has grown.
OK, let me think about this. Thousands of people have nothing better to do with their life than log into a poker site and click the raise button? And refresh your chips and raise some more? Maybe fold a hand that isn't that good? No way - raise because in a limit game if you do happen to catch some cards the pot isn't big enough for you.
So I smiled all night watching the bad movie and even gaining a couple thousand chips. And I think they're on to me by now. Playing 7 stud hi-lo I like low play the low hand. I rarley call unless I've got a solid low going. Tonight the bogus raises made my life uncomfortable in low territory.
And the chat - over two hours of playing. Very amusing. Because it was non-existent. Until a "player" complained about the slow play of another with "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" Folded when he could have checked and left the table.
Two and a half hours and nobody has something to say? I realize that the normal human has an attention span of a two year old and wants immediate gratification. But this site is totally busted. I wonder if Myth Busters is intrested.
This morning I took my $120,000+ "hell or high water" call everything. That's what they do on Absolute Poker. Of course I lost big time. Then when I bring my A game to the table and fold when I shouldn't as I watch the AI raise incessantly the stack has grown.
OK, let me think about this. Thousands of people have nothing better to do with their life than log into a poker site and click the raise button? And refresh your chips and raise some more? Maybe fold a hand that isn't that good? No way - raise because in a limit game if you do happen to catch some cards the pot isn't big enough for you.
So I smiled all night watching the bad movie and even gaining a couple thousand chips. And I think they're on to me by now. Playing 7 stud hi-lo I like low play the low hand. I rarley call unless I've got a solid low going. Tonight the bogus raises made my life uncomfortable in low territory.
And the chat - over two hours of playing. Very amusing. Because it was non-existent. Until a "player" complained about the slow play of another with "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" Folded when he could have checked and left the table.
Two and a half hours and nobody has something to say? I realize that the normal human has an attention span of a two year old and wants immediate gratification. But this site is totally busted. I wonder if Myth Busters is intrested.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Friday night's on internet poker
Don't play. That's A1 number prime time BS.
First off on NLOP I was fighting for a third place win. It was tough. 2 players with lots of chips, the rest you can flip a coin on for third place. I made a couple of bets, the turn and river didn't help and I folded. The next player in place checked. The chip leader, after playing sound poker for 35 minutes - folded. Instead of just checking and losing on the flop. It wasn't like he was constantly raised and scared that his hand was going to be the loser on not catching. He just folded it and put me into fourth. This smacks of at least human collusion if not bogus "the site must win versus the real human player."
I went for broke on Absolute after that. $120,000 free money chips. I fiddled around and basically broke even on stud hi-lo. The results of switching to Omaha Hi-Lo with a 20000 chip buy in were spectacular. Everyone was going all in. My first try I folded a bunch and eventually matched them on a decent hand. 20,000 chips lost. Repeat the same for a second try.
Third try, okay let me wait until I have some better hands. Fold, fold, fold, call modest bet fold, fold, fold, call modest bet, fold, etc... As I continue to watch thousands of free chips raised. And called. Two hands in a row I get great cards and call all-in. Fold-fold-fold-fold-fold. Oh come on dorks, you've been so loose with your chips all night that now you can't push some my way?
Throw in a bogus hold'em tourney on Absolute to top that off. Very bad night for me, except that I know the cards aren't for real. Between me and my opponennts I've seen something like 30 pocket pairs in 150 hands.
First off on NLOP I was fighting for a third place win. It was tough. 2 players with lots of chips, the rest you can flip a coin on for third place. I made a couple of bets, the turn and river didn't help and I folded. The next player in place checked. The chip leader, after playing sound poker for 35 minutes - folded. Instead of just checking and losing on the flop. It wasn't like he was constantly raised and scared that his hand was going to be the loser on not catching. He just folded it and put me into fourth. This smacks of at least human collusion if not bogus "the site must win versus the real human player."
I went for broke on Absolute after that. $120,000 free money chips. I fiddled around and basically broke even on stud hi-lo. The results of switching to Omaha Hi-Lo with a 20000 chip buy in were spectacular. Everyone was going all in. My first try I folded a bunch and eventually matched them on a decent hand. 20,000 chips lost. Repeat the same for a second try.
Third try, okay let me wait until I have some better hands. Fold, fold, fold, call modest bet fold, fold, fold, call modest bet, fold, etc... As I continue to watch thousands of free chips raised. And called. Two hands in a row I get great cards and call all-in. Fold-fold-fold-fold-fold. Oh come on dorks, you've been so loose with your chips all night that now you can't push some my way?
Throw in a bogus hold'em tourney on Absolute to top that off. Very bad night for me, except that I know the cards aren't for real. Between me and my opponennts I've seen something like 30 pocket pairs in 150 hands.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Again all the normal busts on Absolute poker com through
Big time.
I played seven card stud hi-lo and gained 8000 chips. Obviously AI. No chat until after playing for two hours. A lot of effort for that income considering I had over 100,000 chips before beginning. Then, the bs started. So, I gave up and played Omaha hi-lo. Just like with pokerfrauds.com I had great success from switching tables. Into another AI game. I actually lost my 2000 chips in the first and went to higher money play when I saw what I expected.
Omaha hi-lo. What are the odds that the winning hand is four of kind on THREE CONSECUTIVE HANDS. How about next to nothing. That's what happened. Not wanting to let them know I'm on to the fraud I called almost every single hand after that, with good cards, and watched a succession of bad beats knock me out. I do0n't care, the three consecutive four of a kinds made it all woth the price of the admission.
I played seven card stud hi-lo and gained 8000 chips. Obviously AI. No chat until after playing for two hours. A lot of effort for that income considering I had over 100,000 chips before beginning. Then, the bs started. So, I gave up and played Omaha hi-lo. Just like with pokerfrauds.com I had great success from switching tables. Into another AI game. I actually lost my 2000 chips in the first and went to higher money play when I saw what I expected.
Omaha hi-lo. What are the odds that the winning hand is four of kind on THREE CONSECUTIVE HANDS. How about next to nothing. That's what happened. Not wanting to let them know I'm on to the fraud I called almost every single hand after that, with good cards, and watched a succession of bad beats knock me out. I do0n't care, the three consecutive four of a kinds made it all woth the price of the admission.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
NLOP - the bored game admin
I have three theories on the soooo many games where you meet up with the player that simply cannot lose.
Theory number 1 - Someone is just on a roll. Having a great night. This is the weakest of the three theories since there are soooo many games on NLOP where it happens. It's statiscally unreasonable that one player keeps getting such good cards, matching flops, great catches on the turn and the river in something like half of the ten player tourneys I join in on. And as posted weeks ago, this phenomena was present in virtually every one of something like 50 tourneys over a two week period. That's where I first developed my "fold regardless of cards I hold" strategy.
Theory number 2 - It's a real person still in the FREE TRIAL PERIOD. I've experienced the free trial period myself almost evey site I have visited. My tourneys fill quickly since there's so much AI out there. The game gets going since you're not twiddling your thumbs thinking, "Geez I wish this game would start, I'm getting bored." If I get too bored I'm going to give up before I ever consider putting real money on it. And then the cards are juiced for the same reason. As with my real human game this weekend, instead of a pair of nines winning the pot, it's constantly that the winner is a flush on the river beating someone's trips, full house eats a flush, etc... If I keep getting 24 for hole cards I'm going to get bored and quit before I consider putting real money on it. There's no doubt that I'm out of the free trial period on NLOP. I constantly get bad hands. I intend to fold anyway, so no biggie. And I have seen plenty of bad beats that when I get a high pocket pair I'm skeptical and just call instead of raising. They almost always get beat.
Theory number 3 - What if your job was to police a bogus poker site? Pop in and out of several tables, generate some chatter to make it look real, get some betting going on slow games and specific to NLOP - change which AI position you control - I've seen this "Network Latency" bargraph following which strange things happen. The player that can't lose changes. Betting patterns change. Players that folded the first ten hands become alive. Those players always explain away, "I got booted." Playing there actively for months now, I don't think I've been booted more than three times.
So, if this was your job, would you play it straight up? Wouldn't it get a little boring? Especially if you weren't that good a poker player and you could either flip the magic "I can't lose button" on, or maybe see what everyone's hole cards were and what the table cards are going to be? The bad beats on NLOP just reek of this.
In my first and only tourney tonight on NLOP I again experienced the player that could not lose. Pretty easy. As soon as the first hand was over - something like the winning hand being a pair of twos that was not just called but aggressively raised on an offsuit 2 and other low card (10?). With a queen on the board. I immediately went into full fold mode. I sat back and watched the player that couldn't lose pick everyone else of. With just me and my extreme short stack versus him I went all in with A-10 hearts. He called, I flopped the flush. Naturally he caught a full house on the river. Second place, playing two hands - one big blind flop and that last hand. The hole thing was over in less than 25 deals, a very short game.
I hope you choke on your hard earned victory. Come back to me when you want to make the cards more reasonable and play some real poker.
Theory number 1 - Someone is just on a roll. Having a great night. This is the weakest of the three theories since there are soooo many games on NLOP where it happens. It's statiscally unreasonable that one player keeps getting such good cards, matching flops, great catches on the turn and the river in something like half of the ten player tourneys I join in on. And as posted weeks ago, this phenomena was present in virtually every one of something like 50 tourneys over a two week period. That's where I first developed my "fold regardless of cards I hold" strategy.
Theory number 2 - It's a real person still in the FREE TRIAL PERIOD. I've experienced the free trial period myself almost evey site I have visited. My tourneys fill quickly since there's so much AI out there. The game gets going since you're not twiddling your thumbs thinking, "Geez I wish this game would start, I'm getting bored." If I get too bored I'm going to give up before I ever consider putting real money on it. And then the cards are juiced for the same reason. As with my real human game this weekend, instead of a pair of nines winning the pot, it's constantly that the winner is a flush on the river beating someone's trips, full house eats a flush, etc... If I keep getting 24 for hole cards I'm going to get bored and quit before I consider putting real money on it. There's no doubt that I'm out of the free trial period on NLOP. I constantly get bad hands. I intend to fold anyway, so no biggie. And I have seen plenty of bad beats that when I get a high pocket pair I'm skeptical and just call instead of raising. They almost always get beat.
Theory number 3 - What if your job was to police a bogus poker site? Pop in and out of several tables, generate some chatter to make it look real, get some betting going on slow games and specific to NLOP - change which AI position you control - I've seen this "Network Latency" bargraph following which strange things happen. The player that can't lose changes. Betting patterns change. Players that folded the first ten hands become alive. Those players always explain away, "I got booted." Playing there actively for months now, I don't think I've been booted more than three times.
So, if this was your job, would you play it straight up? Wouldn't it get a little boring? Especially if you weren't that good a poker player and you could either flip the magic "I can't lose button" on, or maybe see what everyone's hole cards were and what the table cards are going to be? The bad beats on NLOP just reek of this.
In my first and only tourney tonight on NLOP I again experienced the player that could not lose. Pretty easy. As soon as the first hand was over - something like the winning hand being a pair of twos that was not just called but aggressively raised on an offsuit 2 and other low card (10?). With a queen on the board. I immediately went into full fold mode. I sat back and watched the player that couldn't lose pick everyone else of. With just me and my extreme short stack versus him I went all in with A-10 hearts. He called, I flopped the flush. Naturally he caught a full house on the river. Second place, playing two hands - one big blind flop and that last hand. The hole thing was over in less than 25 deals, a very short game.
I hope you choke on your hard earned victory. Come back to me when you want to make the cards more reasonable and play some real poker.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Online poker for real? NLOP and Absolute
Absoultely no freaking way.
Since I'm a loser with no girlfriend I get to play for three hours a night. And extra hours on the weekend. And I fold a lot and observe instead of playing hands that an ordinary person would.
First, last weekend I played agaisnt real people. As expected I did very badly. I've been trained over months to play bad poker to succeed. Lost eighty dollars, lunch money for a couple of weeks, had more fun than months of playing the crap online.
NLOP - it used to be that I had to fold an entire table (ten hands) before even seeing a sniff of a winner. Over the past few weeks I've discovered that my magic hand is the second one. I get decent cards and can win before I go into fold mode.
Statiscally not to abnormal over a couple of days. But when it becomes weeks there is again the problem of a pattern and playing against AI versus real people. The play on NLOP is extremely slow. (Probably thanks to me.) People think for a long time even if the decision should have been made prior to their turn.
And I play on Absolute Poker - complete night and day difference. These people play aggressively and instantly.
Wouldn't it be normal to have a couple of instant aggressive players on NLOP and a couple of slow thinkers on Absolute? You betcha. The aggresive players on NLOP still take time to think. But's let's gove some credit to Absolute - the thinkers fold instead of calling often. When they do call (unlike me) they usually lose. Real players losing against AI.
And from the statiscally unreasonable - played 7 card stud Hi-Low on Absolute and nothing else. For two hours. And I couldn't buy a winner if I sold my soul to the Devil. And then I got a run of cards I couldn't possibly lose on and tripled my initial investment. This is confusing for me since. I watched my initial chip stack dwindle from 5000 to 2000 without even beginning to think of a victory.
My guess is that I'm back into the free trial period where they are courting me to put real money on it. Forget it buttheads. Lose 40 hands, win seven of eight. Can't possibly be for real.
Since I'm a loser with no girlfriend I get to play for three hours a night. And extra hours on the weekend. And I fold a lot and observe instead of playing hands that an ordinary person would.
First, last weekend I played agaisnt real people. As expected I did very badly. I've been trained over months to play bad poker to succeed. Lost eighty dollars, lunch money for a couple of weeks, had more fun than months of playing the crap online.
NLOP - it used to be that I had to fold an entire table (ten hands) before even seeing a sniff of a winner. Over the past few weeks I've discovered that my magic hand is the second one. I get decent cards and can win before I go into fold mode.
Statiscally not to abnormal over a couple of days. But when it becomes weeks there is again the problem of a pattern and playing against AI versus real people. The play on NLOP is extremely slow. (Probably thanks to me.) People think for a long time even if the decision should have been made prior to their turn.
And I play on Absolute Poker - complete night and day difference. These people play aggressively and instantly.
Wouldn't it be normal to have a couple of instant aggressive players on NLOP and a couple of slow thinkers on Absolute? You betcha. The aggresive players on NLOP still take time to think. But's let's gove some credit to Absolute - the thinkers fold instead of calling often. When they do call (unlike me) they usually lose. Real players losing against AI.
And from the statiscally unreasonable - played 7 card stud Hi-Low on Absolute and nothing else. For two hours. And I couldn't buy a winner if I sold my soul to the Devil. And then I got a run of cards I couldn't possibly lose on and tripled my initial investment. This is confusing for me since. I watched my initial chip stack dwindle from 5000 to 2000 without even beginning to think of a victory.
My guess is that I'm back into the free trial period where they are courting me to put real money on it. Forget it buttheads. Lose 40 hands, win seven of eight. Can't possibly be for real.
Friday, August 10, 2007
I'm happy- new poker fraud busting trick
Preface to that - playing on NLOP has been nice and normal for a couple of weeks now. A month ago the problem was players that have folded three hands suddenly go in on something like 9-6 offsuit and the table cards give them a straight with a 7-8-10-j. Lately the all-ins have been limited to bad poker players calling with QQ when there is an AK on the flop. Kudos to you NLOP for getting back to real poker. And realizing I'm just screwing around for fun instead of worryinng about your impossible to win weekly rigged tourney. (I qualify and don't play since with 1700+ "players" I will never win a prize, including a stupid keychain)
I don't chat on NLOP anymore. Or at least not much. But since I've been working on busting Absolute I have chatted some. the new trick is not to say a thing on an unpopular (in other words not Hold'em) game and watch the AI trade chips for fifteen minutes or so. Then I start posting like crazy. "Nice hand," "good one", "wow you're great", "nh". All of a sudden these yawners feel the need to answer me.
Especially on Absolute with its continued lightning quick pace I think I could expect an immediate reply. No way. Chat takes you time to think. And it''s only human nature to do the chatting thing, The chat is bogus.
OK guys, let me get this - I don't talk for ages and neither do you. Suddenly I wake up and become Chatty Cathy and you do, also. Then I've even gone into sleep mode and ignored any chat, watched while it went away.
And you are supposedly one of the 17,000+ players logged into this site,
Free money rules for busting real money play.
I don't chat on NLOP anymore. Or at least not much. But since I've been working on busting Absolute I have chatted some. the new trick is not to say a thing on an unpopular (in other words not Hold'em) game and watch the AI trade chips for fifteen minutes or so. Then I start posting like crazy. "Nice hand," "good one", "wow you're great", "nh". All of a sudden these yawners feel the need to answer me.
Especially on Absolute with its continued lightning quick pace I think I could expect an immediate reply. No way. Chat takes you time to think. And it''s only human nature to do the chatting thing, The chat is bogus.
OK guys, let me get this - I don't talk for ages and neither do you. Suddenly I wake up and become Chatty Cathy and you do, also. Then I've even gone into sleep mode and ignored any chat, watched while it went away.
And you are supposedly one of the 17,000+ players logged into this site,
Free money rules for busting real money play.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
RAZZ on Absolute Poker
Item number one - first I must eat some crow. You are allowed to split any cards with a value of ten in blackjack. It's just the insanity of doing it that prevents me from doing it. I apologize for my previous post.
Item number two - Again I hated last nights poker. The cards were reasonable, with the exception of a suspicious start to a tourney on NLOP where a player that couldn't lose went all in on something like a 10-6 offsuit and bad beat three or four others and cruised to victory. I took second after watching him win an unreasonable amount of the next five hands.
Item number three - since it just happened seconds ago. Totally unrelated to poker but not for real. For months now I keep getting telemarketer calls that ask me if I'm "Pamela J. Burridge." If I am I should hold. The caller ID shows its obviously an 800 number. And it's always Pamela they ask for. Even though several times I've used their supposed support system to remove me from the call list since I'm not Pamela.
After last nights success I turn to item # four - how to get back in investigative mode instead of real poker and (b)logging the problems.
On Absolute - RAZZ is actually 7 stud lowball. Straights and flushes don't count. Low hand wins. As it is not a wildly popular game it's perfect for my purposes. I registered for a tourney of 8 players. It started at about 7:15 pm EST. I'm supposed to believe that I'm playing against 7 other real people. The site has never admitted that they use AI to fill the tables. I finished fouth just out of the money, including my usually ultra-conservative folding on hands and avoiding bad beats on the last card which happened several times.
The problem was the chat. 45 minutes of play - nobody said a peep. When I finally got fed up the blinds were insane. I got bad beated into kingdom come and was gone.
But like in the good old days of Pokerstars I can still be a railbird. Two "players" were playing actively. One was sitting out. I can still post messages. For the first time in days/weeks other than an occasional "nh" or "ty" I posted messages that supposedly real people could see. Things like "Guys, I'm new at this, can you give me some tips?" "Come on, just a couple of pointers?" I am new at Razz, even though I understand enough math to figure it out. Nuthing
One of three things are going on -
1 - These people are Razz grandmasters so focused on the game that they need to ignore me and make their bets in the ightning quick time and not respond to me.
2 - These Razz grandmasters hate me so much, even though I've done nothing to offend them I'm blacklisted from a simple - "wait until you have three low cards before you bet or call" or similar message.
3 - Or, as is the obvious choice - Sorry, I'm just artificial intelligence made to pump up the stats on players logged in to make the site look popular. Not only do I not want to respond to you, as AI, I *can't* respond to you. At least not in my current form. Maybe we will change the programming later if you keep playing RAZZ.
This brings back 'fond' memories of playing on Pokerstars. If you had no chips, you could refresh them to 2000. And as I was constantly bad beated back to starting over I constantly had to start over from zero. Every single night of the week there was a big 5000 player tourney that cost 4000 chips. For weeks or maybe months I would do whatevere I could to qualify for the nightly big game that started at 8pm EST. Then I would play that tourney for several hours and not get any reward.
My powers of observation noticed that my table was always slower than every single other table in the game. Multiple AI positioins with big chip stacks are still better than human with intelligence. Even if my table was going OK for me, the eventual geting placed on the final few tables left me impossibly short stacked. Time to take a timeout from playing and investigate. 5000 palyers with ten a table - and most of them are free wheeling bet-raise-raise-raise call all in, lightining fast no chat pieces of garbage.
And this is the same thing that happens in single table games to me this day. If I want to survive to play thirty hands instead of 5 I need to fold regardless of my hole cards. Maybe God is training me to be the best short-stacked player on the planet.
Item number two - Again I hated last nights poker. The cards were reasonable, with the exception of a suspicious start to a tourney on NLOP where a player that couldn't lose went all in on something like a 10-6 offsuit and bad beat three or four others and cruised to victory. I took second after watching him win an unreasonable amount of the next five hands.
Item number three - since it just happened seconds ago. Totally unrelated to poker but not for real. For months now I keep getting telemarketer calls that ask me if I'm "Pamela J. Burridge." If I am I should hold. The caller ID shows its obviously an 800 number. And it's always Pamela they ask for. Even though several times I've used their supposed support system to remove me from the call list since I'm not Pamela.
After last nights success I turn to item # four - how to get back in investigative mode instead of real poker and (b)logging the problems.
On Absolute - RAZZ is actually 7 stud lowball. Straights and flushes don't count. Low hand wins. As it is not a wildly popular game it's perfect for my purposes. I registered for a tourney of 8 players. It started at about 7:15 pm EST. I'm supposed to believe that I'm playing against 7 other real people. The site has never admitted that they use AI to fill the tables. I finished fouth just out of the money, including my usually ultra-conservative folding on hands and avoiding bad beats on the last card which happened several times.
The problem was the chat. 45 minutes of play - nobody said a peep. When I finally got fed up the blinds were insane. I got bad beated into kingdom come and was gone.
But like in the good old days of Pokerstars I can still be a railbird. Two "players" were playing actively. One was sitting out. I can still post messages. For the first time in days/weeks other than an occasional "nh" or "ty" I posted messages that supposedly real people could see. Things like "Guys, I'm new at this, can you give me some tips?" "Come on, just a couple of pointers?" I am new at Razz, even though I understand enough math to figure it out. Nuthing
One of three things are going on -
1 - These people are Razz grandmasters so focused on the game that they need to ignore me and make their bets in the ightning quick time and not respond to me.
2 - These Razz grandmasters hate me so much, even though I've done nothing to offend them I'm blacklisted from a simple - "wait until you have three low cards before you bet or call" or similar message.
3 - Or, as is the obvious choice - Sorry, I'm just artificial intelligence made to pump up the stats on players logged in to make the site look popular. Not only do I not want to respond to you, as AI, I *can't* respond to you. At least not in my current form. Maybe we will change the programming later if you keep playing RAZZ.
This brings back 'fond' memories of playing on Pokerstars. If you had no chips, you could refresh them to 2000. And as I was constantly bad beated back to starting over I constantly had to start over from zero. Every single night of the week there was a big 5000 player tourney that cost 4000 chips. For weeks or maybe months I would do whatevere I could to qualify for the nightly big game that started at 8pm EST. Then I would play that tourney for several hours and not get any reward.
My powers of observation noticed that my table was always slower than every single other table in the game. Multiple AI positioins with big chip stacks are still better than human with intelligence. Even if my table was going OK for me, the eventual geting placed on the final few tables left me impossibly short stacked. Time to take a timeout from playing and investigate. 5000 palyers with ten a table - and most of them are free wheeling bet-raise-raise-raise call all in, lightining fast no chat pieces of garbage.
And this is the same thing that happens in single table games to me this day. If I want to survive to play thirty hands instead of 5 I need to fold regardless of my hole cards. Maybe God is training me to be the best short-stacked player on the planet.
Monday, August 6, 2007
The online poker stastically ridiculous revisted
You idiots have no idea what you're dealing with, do you? That's me. Granted a hobby of busting internet poker is a little strange. Who, but a loser like me would want to fold an insane number of hands just to stay alive and watch the bad movie and end up losing?
I won about 600 chips playing an Omaha hi lo limit game. Ok - let's invest them in an Omaha hi-lo tourney.
Personal preference for Omaha hi-lo, I like to play the low hand. I get excited when I have an Ace-2-3. So, I'm sensitive to when I get an ace. Occasionally you match up with a nut flush having the ace. With four hole cards it should happen once every 3-4 hands. No aces in twelve to fifteen hands. Then I got an ace on the next five hands. The overall stats are back to normal, but every single one was a loser. It was about forty hands into the tournament when I won my first hand. And I only knew of one hand that I folded that would have been a winner.
I got a beloved special bonus from the 600 chips won game. Two player names that chatted "ty" and "vn" on virtually every hand for 40 or so hands.
The program is virtually identical to Pokerstars.com. And one of the top two or three things that I busted that site will now be investigated here.
I've alluded to this before. I call it the "Reiko Hill incident". Kind of a rookie still on Pokerfrauds. I qualified for a big 5000 (person) tourney and bluffed on my first hand goig all in. Reiko flopped trip jacks and since the board was all clubs he really hated I split the pot. For two hours I had to put up with this guy telling me what an awful player I was. And he assaulted everyone else at the table.
What did I do? Follow him. The first thing after every login was search for the player name. Caught him playing on two or three tables I joined on where he left. A bunch of times he just wasn't there. Still stalking him I got into another huge thousand of player game of seven stud. Now that I was already experienced at the bs I had no reason to play, so I checked on Reiko.
1) No vicious verbal attacks.
2) Called a hand that couldn't win based on the table cards.
3) Continued to watch the table play with no chat for more than an hour. There is no doubt this is AI instead of real poker. Bet-raise-raise-raise, let God sort them out.
On Absolute Poker I can also search for player names. I fully expect to find my two targets also playing supposedly for real and not posting a friendly "nh" and/or "ty" on every hand for 40 hands.
I won about 600 chips playing an Omaha hi lo limit game. Ok - let's invest them in an Omaha hi-lo tourney.
Personal preference for Omaha hi-lo, I like to play the low hand. I get excited when I have an Ace-2-3. So, I'm sensitive to when I get an ace. Occasionally you match up with a nut flush having the ace. With four hole cards it should happen once every 3-4 hands. No aces in twelve to fifteen hands. Then I got an ace on the next five hands. The overall stats are back to normal, but every single one was a loser. It was about forty hands into the tournament when I won my first hand. And I only knew of one hand that I folded that would have been a winner.
I got a beloved special bonus from the 600 chips won game. Two player names that chatted "ty" and "vn" on virtually every hand for 40 or so hands.
The program is virtually identical to Pokerstars.com. And one of the top two or three things that I busted that site will now be investigated here.
I've alluded to this before. I call it the "Reiko Hill incident". Kind of a rookie still on Pokerfrauds. I qualified for a big 5000 (person) tourney and bluffed on my first hand goig all in. Reiko flopped trip jacks and since the board was all clubs he really hated I split the pot. For two hours I had to put up with this guy telling me what an awful player I was. And he assaulted everyone else at the table.
What did I do? Follow him. The first thing after every login was search for the player name. Caught him playing on two or three tables I joined on where he left. A bunch of times he just wasn't there. Still stalking him I got into another huge thousand of player game of seven stud. Now that I was already experienced at the bs I had no reason to play, so I checked on Reiko.
1) No vicious verbal attacks.
2) Called a hand that couldn't win based on the table cards.
3) Continued to watch the table play with no chat for more than an hour. There is no doubt this is AI instead of real poker. Bet-raise-raise-raise, let God sort them out.
On Absolute Poker I can also search for player names. I fully expect to find my two targets also playing supposedly for real and not posting a friendly "nh" and/or "ty" on every hand for 40 hands.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Absolute busted again
If you want to see bogus poker, you really need to visit this site. Play on the fun money tables. Off color games like Seven Stud and Omaha instead of the wildy popular Texas Hold'em.
After my success this morning I returned to the seven stud hi-lo tables. And in two hours lost five hundred chips. And I was trying. Lost50o chips on a limit game of $10 per bet. Sure, I won a few hands. Two hours and a great player I should have had the same results as this morning.
I took my slightly reduced playing rational poker chip stack to an Omaha Hi-LO table. Called an All-in with A-2 and magically I'm back in the happy zone.
Except that I'd really prefer to play real poker.
After my success this morning I returned to the seven stud hi-lo tables. And in two hours lost five hundred chips. And I was trying. Lost50o chips on a limit game of $10 per bet. Sure, I won a few hands. Two hours and a great player I should have had the same results as this morning.
I took my slightly reduced playing rational poker chip stack to an Omaha Hi-LO table. Called an All-in with A-2 and magically I'm back in the happy zone.
Except that I'd really prefer to play real poker.
Absolute poker - and blackjack!
While you are waiting for your tourney tale to fill, you can while away the time playing blackjack.
As far as an advertisement on to the legitimacy of the site it's awful. You can split any cards with a value of 10. King jack. Queen ten, etc...
Not that you'd want to for sound blackjack play. But the mere fact that you can is disturbing. You're a website devoted to gambling and you can't even follow one of the most basic rules of cards?
I spent two hours this morning trying to find a table where there was such a thing as not having to call all in. You can refresh your cips to two thosand three times every hour. So apparently there's no such thing as conserving any kind of stack you've built up. Call all in - lose -refresh -call all in repeat. I finally found a 7 card stud limit table, and naturally kicked butt. I've played for over twenty hours here and I haven't seen a sniff of real poker yet. And I'm about to go back for more! I wonder how much higher than my $12,000 chip stack they'll let me get before the Pokerstars style fraud kicks in.
Still playing on NLOP also. Tonight's amusement - The angry player complaining about the slow play with the typical message - "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
The hand in play when he typed that message - took him ten seconds to make up his mind to fold.
As far as an advertisement on to the legitimacy of the site it's awful. You can split any cards with a value of 10. King jack. Queen ten, etc...
Not that you'd want to for sound blackjack play. But the mere fact that you can is disturbing. You're a website devoted to gambling and you can't even follow one of the most basic rules of cards?
I spent two hours this morning trying to find a table where there was such a thing as not having to call all in. You can refresh your cips to two thosand three times every hour. So apparently there's no such thing as conserving any kind of stack you've built up. Call all in - lose -refresh -call all in repeat. I finally found a 7 card stud limit table, and naturally kicked butt. I've played for over twenty hours here and I haven't seen a sniff of real poker yet. And I'm about to go back for more! I wonder how much higher than my $12,000 chip stack they'll let me get before the Pokerstars style fraud kicks in.
Still playing on NLOP also. Tonight's amusement - The angry player complaining about the slow play with the typical message - "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
The hand in play when he typed that message - took him ten seconds to make up his mind to fold.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Absolute Poker - bogusity confirmed
On the free money tables there's no such thing as calling a small bet and seeing the flop. It's all-in all-in all-in.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Absolute Poker - that's more like it!
Don't even try and pretend to be for real this is what I live for. After my last message I signed on to Absolute and picked a "fun money" Omaha Hi-Lo no limit table with 5/10 antes. With my just shy of 7000 chip stack it seemed like a good choice.
There was a player with 154000 chips going all in on every hand of the four I saw. The max you can bring in to the table is 2000. And he kept winning while I was there for those four hands.
Going all-in every hand on Omaha Hi-Lo which produces split pots on the average of every other hand, you would have to play an insane number of hands versus some extremely bad competition to acheive that.
Look for stuff like this before you play for real money.
There was a player with 154000 chips going all in on every hand of the four I saw. The max you can bring in to the table is 2000. And he kept winning while I was there for those four hands.
Going all-in every hand on Omaha Hi-Lo which produces split pots on the average of every other hand, you would have to play an insane number of hands versus some extremely bad competition to acheive that.
Look for stuff like this before you play for real money.
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