Brent Beckley Pleads Guilty

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2011/12/20/bloomberg_articlesLWII0C0D9L35.DTL

Well it's about freaking time something happened in this case.

For those that want an abridged version:

Brent was responsible for setting up the fictitious websites that Absolute Poker used to receive Internet gambling funds illegally. Allegedly selling merchandise (jewelry, pet supplies, snuggies etc...) the money was deposited into Absolutes bank accounts so US players could bypass the 2006 law. And back in April of this year they got caught redhanded.

I did a little poking around and I found an article that showed his money laundering crimes carried a maximum sentence of 30 years. Instead he's going to skate after one to one and a half. And I think that's beautiful. No, I'm not a Brent fan. I have watched enough episodes of Law and Order to know that this means he pleas to a lesser sentence and testifies against the other nimrods involved.

On a humorous side note I see that Brent has been living in Costa Rica for the past several years. Hey, Dumb Ass, why didn't you stay in Costa Rica instead of setting foot somewhere you could get arrested?

In the meantime PokerStars keeps chugging out a billion bogus hands every couple of weeks. Can they reach 100 billion hands before they get shut down?

Tables

A weird and wild assumption is that a game site with multiple seating options would only make up as many tables as could be reasonably populated by real people. This is certainly not the case with PokerStars.

I purplisticly (real word) loogged in to the high buy in games and didn't play a single hand.

Triple Draw lowball. Razz. And there is some fucking douchebag that is there at the table when major amounts of free money chips are needed to take a seat. The table is not starting until a bunch of other bohus AI sits there.

And----no Asian women play? Seriously. It's just too weird.

Number of Players

A typical log in for me has more than 200k players. A weird log in produces 70k.

With the United States in lockdown I would think that maybe the more realistic numbers would be at Eurpeon or Asian time. But AI is till set to be annoying at US eastern time.

PokerStars Push to 100 Billion Bogus Hands

This question has come up several times in the past couple of years. "Hey, Big lay Down Guy, if you're not right then why is the site so cool that everyone wants to play on it?

Me and my crack team of insomniacs and people holding down two jobs to make a living and two year olds who haven't got a clue have an explanation.

Surpisingly, just like Jerry Sandusky claiming innocence and Kim Kardashian being involved in a real relationship it's not for real.

The mistakes just keep piling up. Some of them are blatantly in your face obvious. Others are a bit more subtle. But I only get to play in something that looks like reasonable poker like maybe two times a week. Which I don't mind because, well, if you're a reader of this blog the bullshit is all what I'm about.

PokerStars aka PokerFrauds did this to me(unrelated to the screen shots. This guy has logged into 2k Razz game and starts talking about how he has to leave to pick up his dog and that he was playing this meaningless table from work. Regardless of the cover story it was no surprise that this was an excuse to raise like a fucking idiot.

And this is how PokerStars will get their billions of hands records.

Player not found on the same table I'm at. Gotcha. You're so good at Razz you don't want people to find you, so you block it. And you still manage to bump into someone you know and can chat with. And after a flurry of active discussion when it comes time for the real human to decide whther it's time to go to sleep the chat has dryed up faster than a menopausal nun.

(No nuns were harmed in the posting of this.)

As the nuns sit at this table and hide their being logged in for an excuse to raise like a fucking idiot I contemplate on how when I burn in hell I'll at least never had to pretnd that I'm a real person.

Pedro, Pedro, Pedro

Shame on you. You ticked me off enough that I ended my almost month long vacation from blogging.

PokerStars continues to go stomping through the world of artificial intelligence playing against artificial intelligence to rack up billions of hands in a few months.

And the continue to show that even the most basic math skills are something they haven't mastered yet. By the time I got to the two screenshots of Pedro here he had already racked up five bad beat eliminations of another player by a bad beat on the river. The odds of this are something like one in,well, it's a really big number with lots of zeroes before the decimal point.

I also thought ya'll might be jonesing for a picture of a hot Asian chick, so here you go.