Hey, jerkweeds....I'm back! Three weeks vacation from internet poker and I'm settling back into not worrying about winning or losing chips and uncovering the bizarre and strange behavior other "players" have. The first mistake Absolute had tonight was that I do have more than a million chips. So, I get to fold a lot and see how others play for hours instead of just losing it all within minutes. The second mistake was making it obviously bogus by giving me unreasonably crappy cards. The third mistake was not knowing that I was investigating instead of playing for real......which is really the first mistake. I lingered and folded enough into the 4th and 5th mistakes. Fourthly (it's a word...even if I just made it up) "players" with 20,000 chips are so willing to lose them....it's just free money...blah,blah,blah. How did you ever get the chips to play on a 20k buy in table with that philosophy? And since I out waited you, mistake#5 is golden. You couldn't resist the temptation to create a new seat trying to justify all the ridiculous raising.
Crap Play Wins. But Crapplaywins is not in the card room, even though I'm seated right next to him.

Still trying to figure out the new changes on NLOP

This has been getting more and more disturbing. After playing tons of hours of very realistic looking poker the past couple of weeks, I think I might have hit on something.

The ordinary tourneys are extremely long-winded. Being patient last week I finished top 300, got the invite to the big weekly game that didn't exist (admins out for Easter??) and the early part of this week was more of the same.

This week, as I was pretty far under the necessary points for qualifying for the big weekly game that surely won't exist again I experimented with a speed tournament. Compared to what I've been playing for so many, many months I see two things different.

First of all, the blinds increase every 5 hands instead of every 10. Second, the extra 15 seconds of time on the clock is gone. So much for rule differences, now onto the play differences.

For the first 16 hands there was a pre-flop raise on every single hand. Despite having 4 aces and a pair of pocket tens I folded everything...and my what a surprise....every single one of them would have been a loser. The first hand without a pre-flop raise, I have AA. When raised on the river every fiber of my being told me to fold....I've already seen enough unreal poker. I did call and got to linger all the way to 3rd.

Which led me to be able to contrast the old slow games to the new speed games I think they want to funnel you into.

In the slow games there are like 10 messages posted in chat in the first dozen hands, then as the table gets down to the last 6 the chat disappears as the AI is no longer interested in talking to you. On the speed table not only did everyone have the time to make their poker play the chat was insanely active regarding people from Indiana, what city do you live in, blah, blah, blah....

And combine the poker moves with the secretary class level chat typing skills in seconds....bogus.

And even including my troublesome last week trying to figure out what's wrong with the new program....if you get to a game with a table of 5 or less the chat is virtually gone.

AI just hates to admit it's beat. And it hasn't been programmed to gloat.

Sadly

For the time being I can't allow comments to be posted. I've loved the drunken tirades (see Nov 29th post) and how so far nobody has been able to explain the statiscally ridiculous things I've seen.

This past week I've had comments posted that were simply links to spyware invasions. Probably just random spammers, but, well...the screen shots speak volumes. There's lots of great stuff here that was not made up, and no screen shots have been doctored. I had left posting comments on so maybe someone out there could give a rational explanation on how I'm wrong, but it's fairly obvious that's not going to happen. Because the math just doesn't work.

Repost of old news #2

Remember the hand that I happily folded with AJ when the five other "players" had AA, KK, QQ, JJ and AT where the the AT one with a flush on the river? Three weeks later I met up with this hand....the parallels are surprising.

5 "players...". I'm happily folded with my AK and again everyone else is all in pre-flop. Pairs and good cards for all...again...My 5 high straight would have lost to the statistically worst cards...again....

Are we beginning to pick up a pettern here?

Repost of old news #1

The unreasonableness of the weird username.

Vanadium.

Pretty obscure element on the periodic table. Both Ultimatebet and Full Tilt met me with the friendly message that this name was already taken. After the usual array of months of being cheated I tried to create a new account on Full Tilt. Since I was the "focal point" it seemed only natural that this should be my screen name.

It's already taken?!? Including no space between the first and second word?!? Weird at the minimum....bogus at the max.

Typical for Absolute

Hey crackheads...

Do a little math.

This is a 20k max buy in table. The top two positioins have almost 1,200,000 chips between them. It's Omaha Hi-Lo, so sweeping the pot is hard. And you can't log in for the first time and have 20,000 chips to throw away going all in and losing to poker gods.

If you've worked hard enough to make 20k chips to sit in at the big money table (this is the biggest on Absolute) one would tend to think that you would be protective of it and not just go all in on the first hand. But bingo on Absolute doesn't work that way.

That's a net of 59 players and re-buys going all in and losing.

I've worked far harder than I should have had to for my 1.7 million chips. And there's a net of 59 with the "It's only play money" attitude that were so uncompetitive that they had nothing better to do with their lives but sit and click all-in. Re-buy. Repeat.

If it were for real, the top position would probably take the better part of a day of perfect poker to get to that point (assuming competition that doesn't just throw it away.) And how come the two of you haven;t butted heads and there's not some one with all of the 1.2 million chips??