Sit and Go on Full Tilt

Interesting 28 hands for me tonight. An 18 player sit and go. My table of nine has six go all in on the first hand. There was only a 250 chip buy in, so I can forgive the mentality of trying to take control of the table and going all in with complete crap on the first hand.

Numerically my cards weren't too bad over the 28 hands. What was a little weird was that only three of them had the cards suited. And no pocket pairs at all. And hands 3 through 7 my hole cards were A2, QJ, KT, KQ, QJ (all offsuit). But since I'm on to the fraud, I folded every single one. I got to see the winners cards on every one of those hands, and naturally I would have lost every single one. Finally at the final table, by far the shortest stack, I went all in with KT, flopped a pair of kings and naturally got a bad beat on the river.

Statistically, not too weird. Just a guy getting bad cards and can't make it. It happens. I don't expect to place in the money every sit and go.

But, since I've been preying a lot upon this site recently I've seen this has been virtually the same pattern for 7 consecutive tourneys. I have managed last place in the money (3rd or 4th) in one or two of them. But, just like NLOP is a master at, there's no such thing as getting off to a good start for a real human player. Only one of the 7 tourneys had any kind of chat at all.

It's all indicative of AI playing out pre-programmed hands, and the stretch of decent cards I had early on is supposed to eliminate me before I see the continued nonsense of things like the chip leader acting like they can't lose and feeding the other positions.

I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it. Play to win. Don't play to make me lose. It will make it look a lot more realistic.

Yeah, right

You never know where I'll pop up. It's usually a low level game - small buy in. More often than not, not Hold'em. Because that's where all the weird crap is.

After a mind numbingly stupid HORSE limit tourney I realized that Full Tilt doesn't understand what I'm all about. Which, as you should know by now, is not the chips I have. It's about others chips.

All poker sites are loaded with "players" that seem to have the mentality of playing to make me lose instead of playing to win. There is constant irrational raising. The excuse is invariably, "It's only play money".

But, this is nothin new that hasn't been posted here before. So, I now go to the table of the morning.

Operation Sit and Go is online. And working. Operation Sit and Go is designed to look at maximum number of tables, get the AI to bet heavy and then I leave. Amusingly, I have the "waiting" list follow me around the site. Everyone seems to want a piece of me. Including those that just simply never seem to have the need to sleep.

I bounced into an Omaha Hi-Lo table with a max buy in of $1,000 where someone had over $20,000. Thats weird. A little math and the lack of logic to that made me bounce into -

A table with more than $40,000 on a max buy in of $1,000.

Oh, for God's sake...what the hell are you people thinking? Omaha Hi-Lo with split pots. And I tested adding more chips after I was sitting - it doesn't work. You would pretty much have to win every hand for hand after hand against "players" willing to call into it for a long time.

I'm not impressed with your chip stack. What would impress me is if you would fold a hand every once in awhile, turn the bad beats off and play like a man you stupid admin loser.

Aw, UB...did you adjust the program for little ol' me?

Probably.

Point number 1 - The Elimination Blackjack is not the hottest game in town. I only play it becuase it continues to be statistically unreal.

Point #2 - If you're going to register for a table then maybe you should actually appear at that table. Instead of being an AI position directly connected to the server and programmed to be in the game.

Point #3 - Don't make it bogus. You can't "raise" in the blackjack games. So there are big bets. Players constantly bet the max and/or split the bank at the drop of a pin. And far too often the are rewarded instead of being punished for their stupidty.

Point #4 -And, don't let your lame AI register for games that the're not going to be in on. If the table is full, let the game go....AI or not.

Or just keep having your bad AI log in to play a game and then not playing. Only gives me more food to post.

Three different tables - more of the same

I had to give UB a break when I had my A-game on. It's just getting too easy. And since you never know where I'll pop up (but I'm surely swayed to low level games) I chose:

Full Tilt - I'm still building and don't have too many chips.

Table #1 - 9 player sit and go with a $250 (naturally play money) buy in. In the first 6 hands, playing by the book, I should have been in on 5 of them. And I would have won all five. 2 would have been magical flops on cards that a sane player would not call on. 2 would have been bad beats that I would have won on the turn or river. One was a hand I should have called, but it was only hand #2. Pocket 88s and being naturally suspicious I missed getting the winning full house after my bad cards on the first hand watching 4 players call a pocket K all in on the first hand.

Hand number 7 - pocket Aces. Every fiber of my being screamed to fold it. Instead I called, raised and won. And realized that for whatever reason it was pretty dang obvious it was being thrown to me. As much as last night's 44 hands before getting an ace, the cards and flops I was getting were ridiculously good. And, you can't win on the "making it look for real" homefront by me. Bogus poker is bogus poker whether I win or lose.

Table 2 - 10/20 limit HORSE. Now, that's more like it. Almost every hand had the same raise, raise, raise, raise, call, call, call, I fold, pattern that Absolute and UB used to do months ago. Thankfully for the poker world they have reprogrammed and the games have calmed down a lot.

Table 3 - 2 table Hold'em no limit sit and go. I correctly guessed that they were not going to throw another one at me. I didn't win a single hand until the final table where I was by far the shortest stack. More importantly, I only folded one hand along the way that would have won if I stayed in. Including automitically folding pocket JJs that would have lost to pocket QQs. Just like my many second place finishes on NLOP without winning a single hand, taking the 4th place money on an 18 player game while winning just one hand is really pretty stupid. But then, I am an expert at spotting when the cards are truly random and the play is for real.

Thank you UB, for that statiscal nightmare

You never know where I'm going to pop in to ply my trade. Crazy Pineapple high low 50-100 limit last night. Tonight's fun - a 3 table sit and go with a lousy little $100 buy in and a first place prize of $1,050 that my $160,000 plus chips doesn't care about.

Mostly from my months of play on NLOP I've discovered that there's no such thing as playing it by the book and expecting to win. I constantly have to play extremely short stacked. Even for the low level of the game, tonight I prepared myself for a famous pad of paper and pen night to log what kind of cards I was getting.

First of all, to all my detractors...I can assure you. If I say I got pocket kings three hands in a row, it really happened. If I saw someone win 10 hands in a row on a full table, it really happened. If I saw two different sites have every single position raise every chance every bet for a month, it really happened. If I folded my way into winning second place on NLOP without winning a single hand multiple times, it really happened.

Once things got off to a bad start tonight my radar was up and I sat back and just kept logging my cards on the paper. And continued to watch as the statistical anomaly just kept growing and growing. For pride I am happy to announce that I did take 4th out of 30 and won a ridiculously small amount of chips for an hour and half of my life. But, even these few chips were recognition of the system, playing anti-poker and waiting for the game to switch out of phase 1 into phase 2. (And the not unexpected phase three showed up later.)

I ran the numbers from my pad of paper into a spreadsheet. Assigning a value to the cards 2=2, etc...J=11, Q=12, K=13, A=14 I can see the value of my hands versus a statiscal average. The average value for two cards is 8*2 = 16. I finally got my first ace on HAND #39. Statistically, receiving an ace every 6.5 hands, this is freaking ridiculous. And the average value of my hands, not counting #39 when I finally hit my first ace had a differential of -63, or somewher around -1.5 per hand. So, while it can be assumed that everyone is getting an average count of 16 per hand, I only get 14.5.

This isn't earth shattering over the short term. But an hour into an almost 40 hand game it's starting to get a little out of control. And my main point with mentioning NLOP, this is not an isolated incident. I get crappy cards. But, I'm not supposed to notice it because when I do get those pocket kings on hand 3 and lose it all, I'm away from the table and don't get to see the insanity continue.

Phase 2 -surprised that I'm still alive an reached the final table, I couldn't have paid anyone to get bad cards. After an hour of boredom for the normal person, I get to actually bet, bluff and play like things SHOULD be from hand one.

Phase 3 - I've already locked up fourth place. Time for some erstwhile big betters to get all conservative and stop raising to make sure that I don't get any better - even for a lousy couple hundred of chips - playing to make me lose instead of playing to win.

What I really need to do is to start recording these games so all can share in the magic of internet poker bs. Blogger won't let me add the spreadsheet now. I'll try agian later.

Another weird thing

I've seen this on UB a lot. Now that I have a healthy chip stack I get to bounce around and play on almost any table I want to without fear of losing it all.

And since I don't really care about the chips, I bounce into low limit free money games where ordinary"god I love Texas Hold'em" mortals don't play.

Why the hell is my font different from everyone else? Is this some kind of a "big shark in the water" signal that newbies get to recognize and stay alive longer than they normally would? I've seen this on Crazy Pineapple and Horse about a dozen times now. And although it was fun because it was different the Pineapple game was....bogus.

UB - let me remind you - play to win. Don't play to make me lose. And then we can generate the uncomfortable relationship I have with UB where I'm pretty just much left alone and move on to another site.

Can you please be a little more obvious

Because I'm not real good with subtlety. (Brigette Fonda, Lake Placid.)

First of all, I did my normal gesture of defiance by registering for the big weekly tournament on NLOP and refuse to play. Waste of time.

So for some modicum of fun I hit the blackjack tables at UB and....geez....you're not even really trying any more. Another hit on a blackjack. I misposted yesterday...this is the SIXTH time this past two weeks that "someone" has hit on blackjack.

Smarten up. The program needs to be changed. Again.

Ooops

Again. Three times now I've experienced a "player" hitting on a solid winning blackjack.

And I love this game because it is just the gift that keeps on giving and giving.

A couple of weeks ago the bs was players hitting on a 19, catching a 2. Now the algorithms are set to hit on a blackjack.

And of course splitting tens still works for them all the time insyead of being punished for the stupidity of it.

And Full Tilt- folded my way into two second place finishes on some low level sit and go games. If I didn't fold I would have come up empty.

Old MacDonald had a farm - AI AI Ooooh!

Another memorable NLOP moment

Another fraud filled NLOP moment.

Again, on the cusp of qualifying for the big weekly game(without clicking on ads), I encountered the king of bad beats this morning. Tonight was supposed to be just for the fun of playing poker and I won first on a five player game. Then I realized I'm still on the cusp.

Which means nothing to me since even if I play in the big game I'm sure I won't win diddly. Because all the activity from the other players continues to be play to make me lose instead of playing to win.

After the five player game I hit up a ten player table. Immediately I was contacted by an old friend. That I don't remember. Strange that he remembers my screen name. Unlike other sites you can change your screen name on NLOP on a daily basis. I've only been DexterMorgan (from the best show on tv!) for a couple of weeks. And here he is all chatty about his new business, and not surprisingly the first eliminated from the table. And the chat still talked about his business even after he was gone.

Then, it became apparent that there was a player that simply cannot lose. I watched the table slowly get erased and suffered the taunts of the eventual winner about folding.

Folding hands that would have lost you gay cheating moron. Maybe you should just let the table play for real without toggling cheat mode. It might make it look a little more real.

Hitting on a blackjack

Do I even need to say how stupid this is?

Elimination BJ on UB, the gift that keeps on giving

I probably know the strategy about this sit and go as well as anyone else. You can't just play against the dealer. If you have the fewest chips on an elimination hand, you're gone. It doesn;t matter if you have gained 200%. I know when to chase by playing stupid. If I'm short stacked versus the table I'll go in big. And I'll split tens like everyone else does on a regular basis.

Tonight's fun. Two consecutive tourneys where a player hit on a solid winning blackjack. I forgive the first one. With 12,500 chips and by far the shortest stack on the table he doubled and won more than the balckjack would give him.

The next tournament's hitting on a BJ was insane. Second hand...far away from an elimination hand and not short stacked. Granted, the dealer up card was a 6...but you nuked a sure 150% gain on a measley $6,000 bet?

This is not indicative of real human play. This smacks of AI programmed to bet versus the dealer up card, pre-programmed hands or knowing the result before you bet. I have to go with the AI option since the bet would have been all-in instead of $6,000.

Thank you NLOP

Again, you show your true colors.

Problem #1 - Post and Fold. Wednesday night a player sits out far more than the required 15 hands where you are eliminated for inactivity, and they linger at the table. Thursday night, after 15 hands a sitter was booted. Tonight, again the sitter lingers at the table for far more than 15 hands of inactivity and isn't booted. And won a big blind hand with 4 queens and got to linger more. Finally booted after a second set of 15 inactive hands. I love it when a site can't even follow their own rules.

Problem #2 - Feeding. Yes, I noticed the way that the 2000+ chips leader called the lowest stack on the river - with a 6-2 and lots of high cards on the table. Didn't even have a pair. Even if you think the guy is bluffing, it might be reasonable to assume that he has a card higher than a six in his hole cards. And "might be reasonable" is a strong assumption since Mr. Low stack won a ton of hands in a row off of Mr. Ex-chip leader. And the whole 1 hour and 15 minute tournament continued with the same pattern of feeding the low stack by calling when you shouldn't.

Finally, after my paltry two winners stack and the blinds being big, and getting bored of the bs hand was decent I went all in...and naturally ex-Mr. Low Stack now Mr. Chip Leader called with his 9-2 off suit and beat beat me.

I am close to the edge of qualifying for the Sunday tournament. So the result tonight was far from a big surprise. As always, it's not about playing to win, it's about playing to make me lose.

Problem #3 - As always with this site - there's no such thing as having a good run of cards and being the chip leader and cruising to a spot in the top three. If you don't want to play short stacked after the first five hands, don't even bother.

lmfao - sit and go registration

27 players logged into a 21 player game. And within seconds I was like number four on the list on a new sit and go.

OK, let me think......

Peeps register for 20 tourneys with normal clicking and joining and they click on unregister when a game starts up on all the 20 tables they joined on.

Or maybe...you're just AI directly connected to the server that doesn't have to click the mouse.

At least nobody split tens.

Another NLOP bust

First off, I want to say how over the past two months the four sites I've been playing on have calmed dow an awful lot. It's like real poker all over again. Gone are the obvious days of Absolute and Ultimate setting the AI on limit games to raise, raise, raise, call, call, call, call - I fold. Hand after every hand. Now I actually have to think about it, and play real poker.

And I hate it.

Sure, overall, I'm wining. But without the passionate playing to make me lose instead of playing to win garbage over several years, this has gotten kind of.....boring. I may have to retire.

But NLOP did provide me with one gem tonight (and yesterday). Remember, NLOP, you need enough points to get an invite to the impossible to win final match. Yesterday was fun because in a real game I probably should have finished third and been way off the leaderboard. It was fairly obvious that they threw first place at me, so tonight I get to go up again and try and maintain position.

Problem numero uno was Danger Dan, eventually numer one or two. Like me, Dan folded a crap load of hands, was extremely short stacked at less than 300 chips, and went on a mgical win streak of winning four hands in a row, not only winning, but the three (would have been four except I didn't buy into the bs) active players kept calling and raising into him, making him the leader of the table.

Problem numero dos -

Normally when I play on NLOP I expect to get my login bonus of 2000 chips, answer their very intrusive survey on my financial staus, answer the question of the day for a minor number of points. Then play.

Lately, I've been getting the 2000 point login, then playing. Answer the survey and question.

And tonight the 500 point survey was disabled. And here I am, on the cuff and the 500 points would have been cool - don't have to think about things until tomorrow - still on the leaderboard.

Problem numero tres - Danger Dan, again. In his magical run of four straight winners he had 45 chips, and bet 40.

Oh, please. The five extra chips isn't going to change anyone's decision. Very indicative of AI. And combine that with jimihendrix magical early run, this was one of the worst and most bogus tables I've ever played on.

I have uploaded the Dan lack of all in bet for your entertainment.

New site, same old problems

I've been active on Full Tilt the last 4 days. Problem #1 - Every night there's been a Razz table where someone asked "How do you play this game?" Ray was especially amusing since with a millio chips and Razz offered on all the major sites, one would think that you would know the rules - it's lowball. And tonight when I showed up at a Razz table a player with 200 chips whined after my first hand about apparently not knowing the rules. And immediately demonstrated they did.

Problem 1 and 1/2 - if you know the rules and are trying to sucker someone into playing bad, why do you have 200 chips on a free money table? I get it....I'm supposed to think you're playing for high and I'm suppossed to get all crazy.

Problem #2 - Statistics. I've built up enough of a database to support my conclusions. They really don't won't me to win. Most of my hands have been Omaha hi-lo. On a full table, you should expect to win a statiscally reasonable amount of hands. Unlike Absolute and Ultimate, Full Tilt appears to be geared to just screwing you over with flops that don't match your hole cards.

I counted them up tonight -

Hands played - approx. 70

Hands sharing in the pot - 2

Hands folded that would have shared - 3

Hands that the winner mucked the cards - 3

Decent hands screwed over by bad beats -2

This in and of itself is not a problem. Just one guy having a bad night, ummm... except it's one guy having four bad nights over two hundred hands. They simply will not allow me to get any traction whatsoever, and I must continue to play at the baby tables where everyone gets so much better cards and flops than I do.

They've already experienced the me folding to survive philosophy and it looks like they are willing to just keep it statiscally unreal. And they'd better. Because if and when my chip stack gets into the tens of thousands I get to play, "What if I'm wrong?" Which amounts to watching supposedly good players call/raise every hand and drop their supposedly hard earned chips - playing to make me lose instead of playing to win.

Which is definitely what's been going on here.

Stalking

It's a given....

I get a lot of attention on the free money tables. So much that the admins decide they have to beat me down with ridiculous unrealistic poker that I get the infrequent gem.

The stalking - I was awake at 1:00 am playing on free bean tables that no one cares about. After another fraudelent blackjack loss I switched to my tried and true Omaha Hi-Lo. And two "players" from the blackjack tourney stalked me to remind me how bad a card player I was.

And reminded me how despite all my efforts on these free money tables that supposedly no one cares about that I'm just a little fish in the sea. Bu proving that you're a server with an infinite chip stack.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE CHIPS. I care about watching stupid stuff like this. If you have that many play money chips, why the hell aren't you playing for real money instead of trying to make me lose?

You don't have a good answer, so don't try.