Insane.
One stretch of cards...2,8 2,4 9,8 6,3 5,4 5,3 5,2 6.7 8,9 7,4 6,3 Average value less than 5. Awww poor Full Tilt....did you experience what it's like to match up with me? Darn tootin'.
Time played 3 hours 50 minutes.
Hnads played - over 400
Chat posted - 4 times.
One tourney had 38 hands played where I got one ace.
4th place finish winning all the way four hands? Yeah, right.
And I have no great screen shots. I was working on one...Viet Hustler, from the UK. Well, I can believe that you moved, but you sure won more than your fair share of hands.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Marginal, but still blogable
Mostly because every site I play a multi table tourney on follws the same pattern.
Full Tilt, you're welcome for the vacation I gave you - time to play a meaningless 3 table, 100$ buy in tourney on Ultimate. I have 326k chips, so winning or losing means absolutely diddly to me. And, if the tourneys are going to continue like this I may just need to make it my life over the next several weeks and months.
On the very first hand bosox1991 whined about someone going all in with TT while his A9 was the winner with a couple of others calling. More annoying, taunting chat followed and bodix won three more of the next four hands. Can you say..."preprogrammed?" Within 7 minutes 8 players were gone. OK, that's possible. With a $100 free money buy in everyone is all loose without a care in the world. Naturally I survive several bad beats because playing anti-poker I avoid the loose play, even on hands I should call in on.
Switch to "target me" mode. Now the play is like everyone is playing like the mortgage on the house is on the line. I continue to fold way more hands then should be reasonable. Now, the chat switches to how the chip leader is in dire need to play another game and just goes all in every hand. When the simplest option was just to sit out and win the meaningless 500 or so chips his stack would have gotten him. After carefully picking my battles I am now in the chip lead with 4 players left. The previous leader gets done with his other project, including some bogus chat by an "observer" and is ready to play this meaningless table again. More bad beats, he's doing well again, and raising constantly.
The other two positions are still playing like the mortgage on the house is on the line. On a free money 100$ buy in table. Yeah, I do it, but what is your motivation to play for more than an hour on obviously bogus poker?
Full Tilt, you're welcome for the vacation I gave you - time to play a meaningless 3 table, 100$ buy in tourney on Ultimate. I have 326k chips, so winning or losing means absolutely diddly to me. And, if the tourneys are going to continue like this I may just need to make it my life over the next several weeks and months.
On the very first hand bosox1991 whined about someone going all in with TT while his A9 was the winner with a couple of others calling. More annoying, taunting chat followed and bodix won three more of the next four hands. Can you say..."preprogrammed?" Within 7 minutes 8 players were gone. OK, that's possible. With a $100 free money buy in everyone is all loose without a care in the world. Naturally I survive several bad beats because playing anti-poker I avoid the loose play, even on hands I should call in on.
Switch to "target me" mode. Now the play is like everyone is playing like the mortgage on the house is on the line. I continue to fold way more hands then should be reasonable. Now, the chat switches to how the chip leader is in dire need to play another game and just goes all in every hand. When the simplest option was just to sit out and win the meaningless 500 or so chips his stack would have gotten him. After carefully picking my battles I am now in the chip lead with 4 players left. The previous leader gets done with his other project, including some bogus chat by an "observer" and is ready to play this meaningless table again. More bad beats, he's doing well again, and raising constantly.
The other two positions are still playing like the mortgage on the house is on the line. On a free money 100$ buy in table. Yeah, I do it, but what is your motivation to play for more than an hour on obviously bogus poker?
Monday, May 26, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Counting cards
The beauty of playing a multi table game on Full Tilt is that I get to see how ridiculously crappy my cards are compared to everyone else. I just finished an 18 player game and by some miracle fourth place with a couple of chips pointed my way. In the first 55 hands - 2 aces. Yep, got my pad of paper and pen next to me....I've been logging the cards. Because it's been pretty....frigging bogus.
The two aces in 55 hands is just an example of what it's been like lately. It's not just the cards, the size of the chip stack is a huge factor. Someone please explain to me how I can play 30 consecutive tourneys and only get one ace in the first 7 hands in like two or three of them? You can't, because it's rigged.
My favorite is from last night. My hole cards in the first 13 hands were all off suit and they were - 38, 78, 26 85, 25. 56, 79, 93, 54, Q4(A queen, how the hell did that get in there!),25,54,96. Average card - less than a six? Come on, you have to be kidding. There's no freaking way you can play that many hands without something resembling cards to call on much less raise on.
It did get a bit better from there. Needless to say, when you are constantly short stacked it's difficult to make progress.
Again, if the play tables aren't for real, why on Earth would I expect the real money tables are for real?
The two aces in 55 hands is just an example of what it's been like lately. It's not just the cards, the size of the chip stack is a huge factor. Someone please explain to me how I can play 30 consecutive tourneys and only get one ace in the first 7 hands in like two or three of them? You can't, because it's rigged.
My favorite is from last night. My hole cards in the first 13 hands were all off suit and they were - 38, 78, 26 85, 25. 56, 79, 93, 54, Q4(A queen, how the hell did that get in there!),25,54,96. Average card - less than a six? Come on, you have to be kidding. There's no freaking way you can play that many hands without something resembling cards to call on much less raise on.
It did get a bit better from there. Needless to say, when you are constantly short stacked it's difficult to make progress.
Again, if the play tables aren't for real, why on Earth would I expect the real money tables are for real?
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Always looking for a new angle
And still the poker sites haven't found a good way to deal with me and make the game look for real.
During my career I've feasted on fixed limit games. These have been clenaed up a lot. Strange how when for months at a time everyone thought it would be fun to max out the betting every turn of a card, now it's no longer fun and the betting is more rational. So now, Iive switched to huge multi-table games, which present their own set of problems. First of all, the standard trick is to make the real human player become short stacked. This is accomplished in two main ways. Either the human players first table is so slow compared to the rest, or the cards are so worthless, or both. Throw in a marginal hand that you bet on and lose to a killer along the way.
Then, in desperation with finally getting some decent cards one all-in bad beat is all it takes to eliminate you. If you haven't already been eliminated by the marginal hand losing to a killer.
How about this for some fun....fold everything. I learned this from NLOP when I took second 4 times in two weeks without winning/calling a single hand.
My two recent experiences on Full Tilt with this have had mixed results. The big difference is that its a 90 player game instead of 10 player game. My goal of making it to the final table without calling a single hand has been thwarted both times. I still have seen some pretty strange things.
Is it really reasonable that a 90 player game at the start is down to 40 after 5 minutes? Down to 24 after 15 minutes? And why is it that when I get moved to another table and based on chip stack size there's someone else that also hasn't played a hand suddenly wakes up and plays? And why did the 10k chip stack that folded every hand at that table suddenly wake up and play one hand when I flopped a straight....that I folded right away that would have lost to a flush with a bad beat river? And when it got down to a two table game with me in second to last did both tables turtle up and avoid calling each others bets? Calling on crap and winning on a bad beat is what got you there. No reason to stop now.
Except that's fairly obvious you're playing to make me lose instead of playing win.
This should provide hours of fun in the near future since chat has been posted that my lack of calling is annoying to them. Let me think about this....I don't actually play and I can still finish 11th out of 90. (Granted I did play and win on two hands...but remember with a 90 player game two hands won out of the many is silly low, and as usual most of the hands I folded would not have won.)
During my career I've feasted on fixed limit games. These have been clenaed up a lot. Strange how when for months at a time everyone thought it would be fun to max out the betting every turn of a card, now it's no longer fun and the betting is more rational. So now, Iive switched to huge multi-table games, which present their own set of problems. First of all, the standard trick is to make the real human player become short stacked. This is accomplished in two main ways. Either the human players first table is so slow compared to the rest, or the cards are so worthless, or both. Throw in a marginal hand that you bet on and lose to a killer along the way.
Then, in desperation with finally getting some decent cards one all-in bad beat is all it takes to eliminate you. If you haven't already been eliminated by the marginal hand losing to a killer.
How about this for some fun....fold everything. I learned this from NLOP when I took second 4 times in two weeks without winning/calling a single hand.
My two recent experiences on Full Tilt with this have had mixed results. The big difference is that its a 90 player game instead of 10 player game. My goal of making it to the final table without calling a single hand has been thwarted both times. I still have seen some pretty strange things.
Is it really reasonable that a 90 player game at the start is down to 40 after 5 minutes? Down to 24 after 15 minutes? And why is it that when I get moved to another table and based on chip stack size there's someone else that also hasn't played a hand suddenly wakes up and plays? And why did the 10k chip stack that folded every hand at that table suddenly wake up and play one hand when I flopped a straight....that I folded right away that would have lost to a flush with a bad beat river? And when it got down to a two table game with me in second to last did both tables turtle up and avoid calling each others bets? Calling on crap and winning on a bad beat is what got you there. No reason to stop now.
Except that's fairly obvious you're playing to make me lose instead of playing win.
This should provide hours of fun in the near future since chat has been posted that my lack of calling is annoying to them. Let me think about this....I don't actually play and I can still finish 11th out of 90. (Granted I did play and win on two hands...but remember with a 90 player game two hands won out of the many is silly low, and as usual most of the hands I folded would not have won.)
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Time for a huge multi table game - Full Tilt
Out of 90 I finished 10th. Silly since I won two hands. Folded two that would have won, even though the cards were stupid. I folded something like 75 hands, and since your stupid AI is set to kill I was almost in the unimportant money since it was only a 250 buy in.
But that's what I'm all about. I have over 100k chips, I shouldn't even be playing those tables.
And again, Ultimatecheat.com can't refuse the chance to make a joke name based on my name.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Before I forget...then the meat
The card play on Full Tilt has been completely irrational lately. I nuked my 25k stack and I'm now back to playing on the baby tables. And this is fun for me since most of the really weird crap happens there.
During the nuking process I played like 30 eighteen player sit and go tournaments.....my what a surprise. Every final table I made it to had me short stacked. And I hardly ever folded a hand that would have been a winner. This is weird over a stretch of 5-10 tourneys....completely bogus over 30.
As per the last few posts my latest fascination has nothing to do with the cards. It has to do with "When I first sign in, what will I call myself?" Geee, it would sure be fun to be named after a condiment, ordinary household object, vegetable, fruit, body part, or something disgusting....or even some simple stupid word THAT APPEARS IN A DICTIONARY.
The following usernames are all taken on Full Tilt....And I think they can be found on all of Full Tilt, Absolute and Ultimatebet. It's looking like so they can make the ludicrous claim that they have millions of registrants on the site they resorted to loading a dictionary into the database.
Names taken:
Faucet, cord, bulb, jar, glass, curtain, chair, desk, towel, sink, sofa, tub, toilet, cable, box, jar, smegma, scrotum, buttocks, phlegm, snot, vagina, condom, clitoris, dialysis, ulcer, ugly, heinous, lamprey, tapeworm, leech, fart, aorta, penis, femur, tibia, conjunction, adjective, adverb, noun, verb, salt, ketchup, catsup, salsa, lettuce, lemon, mango, carrot, lima bean, green bean, kidney bean, oregano, chives, mustard, mayonnaise, coffee, soda, water, ice, beverage, late, early, open, close, on, off, in, out, hop, sleep.
I'm pretty sure what they gain is....."We have 5 million players registered on our site....even though the dictionary names don't exist.
During the nuking process I played like 30 eighteen player sit and go tournaments.....my what a surprise. Every final table I made it to had me short stacked. And I hardly ever folded a hand that would have been a winner. This is weird over a stretch of 5-10 tourneys....completely bogus over 30.
As per the last few posts my latest fascination has nothing to do with the cards. It has to do with "When I first sign in, what will I call myself?" Geee, it would sure be fun to be named after a condiment, ordinary household object, vegetable, fruit, body part, or something disgusting....or even some simple stupid word THAT APPEARS IN A DICTIONARY.
The following usernames are all taken on Full Tilt....And I think they can be found on all of Full Tilt, Absolute and Ultimatebet. It's looking like so they can make the ludicrous claim that they have millions of registrants on the site they resorted to loading a dictionary into the database.
Names taken:
Faucet, cord, bulb, jar, glass, curtain, chair, desk, towel, sink, sofa, tub, toilet, cable, box, jar, smegma, scrotum, buttocks, phlegm, snot, vagina, condom, clitoris, dialysis, ulcer, ugly, heinous, lamprey, tapeworm, leech, fart, aorta, penis, femur, tibia, conjunction, adjective, adverb, noun, verb, salt, ketchup, catsup, salsa, lettuce, lemon, mango, carrot, lima bean, green bean, kidney bean, oregano, chives, mustard, mayonnaise, coffee, soda, water, ice, beverage, late, early, open, close, on, off, in, out, hop, sleep.
I'm pretty sure what they gain is....."We have 5 million players registered on our site....even though the dictionary names don't exist.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
More louser name info
Louser is my new name for loser user names. And not surprisingly my investigation has yielded these results.
Acne is not a current user on Ultimate bet. Blackead does not exit on Absolute. Other than than that every single player name in the last post exists on all three sites. As well as "diarrhea" on all three.
Needless to say the game play on Full Tilt was hilarious, but I did win chips in both rigged tournaments.
Acne is not a current user on Ultimate bet. Blackead does not exit on Absolute. Other than than that every single player name in the last post exists on all three sites. As well as "diarrhea" on all three.
Needless to say the game play on Full Tilt was hilarious, but I did win chips in both rigged tournaments.
Monday, May 12, 2008
It's a clean sweep
Three sites all have a player named "Pustule" and it gets better. Synonyms. Full Tilt also has players with the names:
Carbuncle
Boil
Pimple
Ulcer
Abscess
Infection
Blister
Acne
Blackhead
Completely unreasonable.
Carbuncle
Boil
Pimple
Ulcer
Abscess
Infection
Blister
Acne
Blackhead
Completely unreasonable.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Sleeping and Pustule
Three strikes and you're out.
Three times recently on Full Tilt I've encountered other positions timing out where someone complains about the slow play. My next hand I purposefully time out and not a peep. This is indicative of pre-programmed hands and chat. Which explains why I can never win a hand in the first deal around the table. It must be very frustrating for them to have me linger into the final table and still win some chips.
At least two sites have a player named "Pustule." I used the Find Player option on Absolute, and the message reads something like "Player name does not exist" if it's not a valid user name. Pustule exists, but is currently not in the card room. It's very difficult for me to believe the personality with such low self esteem that they would choose "Pustule" over "JoeSmith14" or "TripJacks".
I realize that I could be accused of having created the Pustule account, but this is not the case. I'm certain that I can go through the dictionary some more and find lots of other ridiculous user names.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Vanadium - revisted
First off, I'm proud off one of my major weapons. It's not something a normal human would think of. Playing to lose.
I call it "nuking the chip stack." Last weekend I had 280,000+ chips on Full Tilt. By Monday morning I had 2,800. And this is not because of lack of skill on my part. When I sit for hours at a 3 player table and call every bet I should win one in three. If you rig it to impossible to win, I don't. And I'm more than happy to start at the newbie buy in of 1,000 chips, taqke advantage of the weak AI and start all over again. Less than a week later I have 19,000k chips on Full Tilt and I fully expect to get up to several hundred thousand again, sit at a table with a player set on "cannot lose" and rinse and repeat.
All that crap is getting a tad boring. So let's get on with the mere problems of registering. OK, the first time I've logged into a poker site -my natural reaction is to do one of three things.
My username is a poker related name.
My username is based on my real name.
My username is based on something personal other than poker and my real name.
Apparently something personal includes some really strange choices. On one of my favorite targets I tried to create a new account with the following usernames that didn't work because they where already taken:
Amphetamine
Amoeba
Beachhhead
Broadsword
Dreadlocks
Equator
Grotesque
Hyperbola
Inconceivable
Kookaburra
Litigious
Manatee
OliveOil
Pontoon
Pustule
Retrograde
Solvent
Workshop
Xenolith
Zygote
Out of a total of 42 tries - almost 50%.
The illusion of real people playing - wow, thi site is so cool---I can't pick my favorite handle. Because it's in the dicktionary. Extra k on purpose.
Oh come on...I can understand some of them...Dreadlocks, OliveOil misguided that Popeye's girl spelled it with a y,
But think about some of the others. Why the hell would anyone pick a username of Pustule? You prefer that to Dansmith69?
Yeah, right.
I call it "nuking the chip stack." Last weekend I had 280,000+ chips on Full Tilt. By Monday morning I had 2,800. And this is not because of lack of skill on my part. When I sit for hours at a 3 player table and call every bet I should win one in three. If you rig it to impossible to win, I don't. And I'm more than happy to start at the newbie buy in of 1,000 chips, taqke advantage of the weak AI and start all over again. Less than a week later I have 19,000k chips on Full Tilt and I fully expect to get up to several hundred thousand again, sit at a table with a player set on "cannot lose" and rinse and repeat.
All that crap is getting a tad boring. So let's get on with the mere problems of registering. OK, the first time I've logged into a poker site -my natural reaction is to do one of three things.
My username is a poker related name.
My username is based on my real name.
My username is based on something personal other than poker and my real name.
Apparently something personal includes some really strange choices. On one of my favorite targets I tried to create a new account with the following usernames that didn't work because they where already taken:
Amphetamine
Amoeba
Beachhhead
Broadsword
Dreadlocks
Equator
Grotesque
Hyperbola
Inconceivable
Kookaburra
Litigious
Manatee
OliveOil
Pontoon
Pustule
Retrograde
Solvent
Workshop
Xenolith
Zygote
Out of a total of 42 tries - almost 50%.
The illusion of real people playing - wow, thi site is so cool---I can't pick my favorite handle. Because it's in the dicktionary. Extra k on purpose.
Oh come on...I can understand some of them...Dreadlocks, OliveOil misguided that Popeye's girl spelled it with a y,
But think about some of the others. Why the hell would anyone pick a username of Pustule? You prefer that to Dansmith69?
Yeah, right.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Aahh Camille...I wish I got your cards, I could retire
I haven't messed with Absolute too much recently. Months ago it was so boring logging into 20k buy in Omaha Hi Lo and watching the constant bingo of everyone going all in.So tonight I played several dozen hands and I was completely fascinated by the lack of raising. The betting was very modest. Even with player changes at the table noone had the all-in personality. Weird.
Weird that months ago you couldn't find a table without some idiot going all in. Losing, rebuying in and losing some more.
Camille didn't have to go all in. There were always chumps to call. I had to fold far too many hands to survive and slowly build.
Then after this hanmd Camille left the table.
My what a surprise. All of a sudden the game degenerates into all-in bingo, which I naturally stayed out of. One "player" posted about how he was leaving after one last hand he won with four tens because he couldn't stand bingo. The winning card was natch caught on the river.
I didn't buy a single second of my 1+ hours spent on it being for real. The wild mood swings from so tight to so loose....bs.
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